Margaret Houlihan

"Did you ever once show me any kind of friendship? Ask my help with a personal problem? Include me in one of your little bull sessions? Can you imagine what it feels like to walk by this tent and hear you laughing and know... that I'm not welcome? Did you ever once ever offer me a lousy cup of coffee?"

- Margaret, chastising her nurses.

Major Margaret Houlihan was a character on the M*A*S*H television series.

She was portrayed by Loretta Swit.

Margaret was the daughter of a career military officer. Very much an army brat, Margaret and her mother followed her father to a number of his various postings. At age five she was quite upset when they would not give her a crew cut.

Growing up Margaret became a nurse and an Army officer. Early in her career she was willing to use romantic contacts with superiors in order to get her way. By the time the Korean War came about she was assigned as the head nurse of the 4077 MASH under the command of Lt. Col Henry Blake (TV). Soon after her arrival she started an affair with the married Major Frank Burns. At first she was an antagonist who despised the laid back attitudes of Col Blake and surgeons Captain Benjamin "Hawkeye" Pierce and Captain John "Trapper John" McIntyre. Even so she respected the surgical prowess of both Trapper and Hawkeye. She did not have much respect for the nurses under her command, nor the enlisted personnel at the camp. The feeling was mutual at that stage, with others in the camp calling her Hot Lips behind her back.

Both she and Major Burns regularly complained to higher ups in the Army over the conduct of Blake and the surgeons. At one point she and Burns tried to have Blake court martialed over his assistance to Nurse Meg Cratty, who helped civilians on either side of the conflict. When Hawkeye threatened to expose her carrying on with Burns to his wife, she backed down. Despite her disapproval of Blake, she was as shocked as everyone else in the camp when Blake died on his way home to Illinois.

"Well, you have to understand, I'm regular army. Most of them are not. They're a terribly unruly and undisciplined bunch and I thank God for each and every one of them when those casualties roll in."

- Margaret on the surgeons.

Soon the career officer Sherman Potter arrived to take command. Margaret quickly warmed up to her new commanding officer, becoming good friends with him. At the same time her relationship with Frank Burns began to cool, and she started to reevalulate her opinions of both Hawkeye and Trapper's replacement Captain B.J. Hunnicutt. She began to loosen up a bit with her nurses as well, making an effort to relate to them as people and not just subordinates.

Frank's world quickly came crashing down when Margaret became engaged to Lt. Col Donald Penobscott. After the two married Frank had a nervous breakdown and was shipped back to the US. Margaret and Burns replacement Major Charles Emerson Winchester III had a bit of mutual attraction, but nothing beyond friendship ever developed between the two. The marriage between Margaret and Penobscott did not last long, with Margaret deciding to divorce after he ran off on her. Margaret did have a brief affair with Hawkeye Pierce while the two were trapped in the Korean countryside under heavy shelling. The affair did not last long and the two came out of the experience closer friends.

As the war came to an end Margaret decided that she wanted to work in a regular Army hospital back in the states. Before leaving for home she shared a last kiss with Hawkeye and Charles apologized for his behavior after blowing up at her for her help in getting him an appointment at a Boston hospital.