Cosmo Kramer

"… I'm Cosmo Kramer, The Assman"

- Kramer's most famous line

Cosmo Kramer (simply referred to as Kramer and occasionally referred to as Cosmo by either his friends or minor character) is an occassional hero on the sitcom Seinfeld. He is one of the main characters on the show alongside Jerry Seinfeld, Elaine Benes and George Costanza. He is Jerry's next door neighbour and Jerry is his closest friends

He was portrayed by Michael Richards.

While Cosmo doesn't do much throughout the series, he is actually a hero on several occasions. In one famous scene, from "The Fire" episode, he gives an account about how he fought off a mugger. He also talks about how he drove the bus at the same time.

He also tried to keep the streets clean.

Unlike most of the group Kramer is rarely seen at his job (which is a bagel shop) as apparently he has been on strike for nine years. Kramer's family aren't actually seen in the series, making him the only member of the main cast who's family or close relative have never been seen on-screen however it's mentioned that he is the last male member of his family, indicating his father is dead. However Kramer's mother, Babs, was mentioned and seen in the earlier episodes.

Kramer is most likely the loyalist of all the people in the group, specifically towards his neighbour Jerry who as was mentioned earlier is his closest friend, he was even willing to break he and Newman's bottle deposit route which would have made them a substantial amount of money as he wanted to save Jerry's car from a psychotic mechanic.

At the end of the series Kramer suffers from the same as the rest of the group in a twist of irony their fate is actually his fault as on their way to California Kramer hopped up and down on thier plane to get water out of his ears and they land in a town nearby where they see a fat man being mugged for his car. Instead of helping they all make jokes and Kramer was even able to record it on his phone. In doing so they break "The Good Samaritan Law" and are sent to court whereafter a jury sends the entire group to jail for a whole year.

Personality
Kramer possesses many eccentricities, for example his upright hairstyle, eccentric wardrobe and sliding way of entering Jerry's apartment. With all these traits it was what led Elaine to describe him as a "hipster doofus." Kramer is very multi-faced, an art patron even described a portrait of him, as being "a loathsome, offensive brute" however he is mostly affable and friendly. It is very easy for Kramer to make friends even people who others find positively unlikeable such as the Soup Naz, an aggressive soup vendor who makes a friend in Kramer and in return the Soup NazI gives him his wardrobe. Kramer is on better terms with George's parents than George is, he occasionally visits Frank and Estelle and in return they allow him to bring women over, something they never did with George. Frank shares his get-rich quick ideas with Kramer such as the bro or "man-siere" (a bra for men). Kramer is also on friendly terms with Jerry's partners, when he "retired" he moved to the same condo as they did whom they both welcomed.

Despite this Kramer does have an insensitive side too however this is not intentionally malicious it's more becuase of a lack of tact and common sense. While meeting with George's insecure girlfriend he comments that "she could be the prettiest girl in New York. She just needs a nose job" and while meeting with Jerry's untalented actress friend he blurted out exactly what Jerry thought of her which was obviously hurtful however he thought it was ok as it was his opinion. Kramer also mistook George's fiancé (whose name was Susan) for Lily and then later turned her lesbian friend straight, these were all factors that made Susan reconsider making him a usher at her wedding.

Amazingly Kramer rarely ever suffers for his tactlessness, instead it's normally his friends who pay for this. The case would be when he paraphrased how talentless Jerry's actress friend was and instead of being angered with Kramer she took it to demonise Seinfled on her comedy show. When Kramer accidentally ignited the Puerto Rican flag during the Puerto Rican Day Parade and was attempting to stomp out the flames, the crowd mistook this for crime against their native country and instead of attacking Kramer they somehow manage to lodge Jerry's car in a stairwel.

Occasionally Kramer is very indifferent towards other people, he was comfortable with leaving Newman on the side of the road as he was dragging too much weight and they needed to catch up to Jerry's stolen car. On one occasion Kramer got no sleep due to a massive neon sign that was raised next to Kenny Roaster's chicken place and to help him Jerry allowed him to live in his apartment all the while Kramer was trying to shut Kenny's down however he discovered that he actually loved their chicken so he tricked Jerry into thinking he hated them as if he did he would he forced to move back to his apartment and the food he craved would be shut down, all the while he didn't seem that much concerned that both Jerry's eyesight and personality were being affected, transforming Kramer very similarly into his calm and sarcastic friend, meaning it's entirely possible that all of his wacky behaviour was due to an affect from his apartment, and he simply couldn't realise it as he has been living there for that long. Kramer and his friends also chose to mock a fat man in a small town while he was being mugged for his car instead of helping him and actually got it on camera.

Kramer is surprisingly superstitious, when his friend FDR gave him the "evil-eye" at his birthday party and used his birthday wish for him to drop dead he actually believed he would. To counteract this Kramer wishes on a shooting star that he doesn't. Interestingly Kramer's first name was never revealed until later series where his mother divulged it to the group. It's unknown why he wouldn't want to disclose this however after it was revealed he took pride in being "Cosmo Kramer."

Kramer also has "mooch" tendencies, he normally enters Jerry's apartment without his consent or knowledge and eats his foods however it's revelaled that the cause of this was when Jerry moved in eleven years ago and said to his new neighbour "what's mine is yours". Although Jerry snidely mocks him over this, he is perfectly consent with thier arrangement as Kramer's apartment is mostly unentertained with food. On one episode Kramer runs a tab for all the food he ate at Jerry apartment per-week however he tried to make it less-costy by not finishing what he ate (a half a can of soda or one-eight over a piece of fruit). Over the series Kramer has adopted many protégés and they all seem to respect his advice depsite his eccentric demeanour.

Kramer has a fondness for Cuban cigars, and was seen smoking them throughout the series. On one episode he was seen with a pipe and actually turned his apartment into a "smoke lounge" for the people who weren't allowed to smoke inside the dinner however it had a horrible affect on his face, making him hideous.

Kramer is the most sociable of the group as well, he constantly tells Elaine, Jerry and George about the favours his friends do for him. Jerry remarks that although he talks about them a lot none of them are actually seen. Kramer is quite friendly with his neighbours such as Newman. Jerry, nor any of his main friends have actually seen him work, in fact many believe that Kramer didn't even have a job to begin with however it's revealed that he actually does, he was a bagel technician and was simply on strike for eleven years. However when he did return the original workers had all gotten new professions and his demands at the time actually account for a minimum wage payment by the time he returned standards.

Jerry Seinfeld is Kramer's closest friend and neighbour however he would turn him in if Jerry committed murder. Despite being a mooch and a personal annoyance they are still quite loyal towards each other, and Kramer will consistently force his unrelenting friend to so activities he may not want to such as grave rob their neighbours dead parot so they can collect a key from inside it's stomach. There are occasions when Kramer would help Jerry even if it would ruin his own antics, such as when he and Newman were on a bottle route and he found Jerry's car stolen car from his psychotic mechanic and followed it across the road. On one occasion when Jerry became extremly overemotional he actually told Kramer "I love you" which he replies without a second hesitation "I love you too, buddy."

Kramer and Elaine don't get that much time together however there are occasions where they work together fairly well, such as getting rid of her "dog" problem by hiring an assassin to get rid of the neighbours dog who was causing her sleepless nights and allowing her to borrow his slicer to feed the neighbours cat whose loud noises was causing her to go tired. George and Kramer are normally awkward around each other as Jerry was the backbone of their relationship. However it's also implied that George thought Kramer was a "screw-up." Kramer has moderately good relationship with his neighbour, Newman. They are very close friends and do include each other in their get-rich quick antics however Kramer is normally conflicted towards his loyalties between Jerry and Newman who are archenemies, such as when Jerry was not allowed to go to Newman's "Newmania" (his party for the Millennium) he fretted for an entire week and actually had nightmares over the choice.

Kramer had a very conflicted relationship with his attorney-in-general, Jackie Chiles. Kramer normally consulted Jackie whenever he thought he had an opportunity to sue somebody however the reasons for suing are normally quite ridiculous, such as the coffee being spilled on him was too hot, the smoke from his cigars turning him into a "goblin" or attempting to sue, Sue-Ellen Mischke, the heiress of a massive candy bar company as she was walking down a street in a bra which caught his attention and causing him to crash his car. Ironically these people were prepared to conceed however Kramer normally manages to botch it up, causing Chlies massive public humiliation (such as winning a lifetime supply of coffee after his scald mark healed, becoming the face of a cigarette company and taking advice from his caddy to see if the bra she was wearing fit Sue-Ellen Mischke at the very same trial).

Like most of the characters on the show Kramer also uses pseudonyms and aliases, the most common ones are H. E. Pennypacker and Doctor Marvin van Nostrand. On one episode Kramer accidentally got a doctors vanity plate and earned the same nickname from his friends, The Assman.

Kramer's favourite television show was The Merv Griffin Show and when he found the set of the show discarded in a dumpster, he remarked that it belonged in a museum for which Jerry remarked the dumpster behind the museum. He apparently loved it so much that he modelled his own apartment with the set of The Merv Griffin Show which he took and even began acting like Merv Griffin himself, mocking him in mannerisms and humour, even bringing in special guests stars and acting to his "co-hosts" like they were actually being recorded on camera, even taking commercial breaks and asking Jerry to "tone it down" after he admitted to drugging his girlfriend so he could play with her antique toys.

Trivia

 * In the first few seasons whoever Kramer entered Jerry's apartment applause would occur, eventually the actors asked the audience to do this less as it threw the other actors off-game.