Xander Harris

Alexander "Xander" Lavelle Harris was a close friend of Slayer Buffy Summers and a founding member of the Scooby Gang. Being the only one of his group of friends to not possess any supernatural abilities, Xander was usually the one who saw everything beyond the supernatural. Besides this, Xander was known to be very humorous and sarcastic, especially in the face of danger.

Early Life

 * "You're a whipping boy. Raised by mongrels and set on a sacrificial stone."
 * ―Principal Snyder describes Xander's upbringing in a dream.[src]

Xander was born to Anthony and Jessica Harris and grew up in the small California town of Sunnydale some time before the middle of January in 1981.[5] Xander's father was a self-pitying drunk while his mother was a fragile mess; both parents were negligent and even abusive towards their son, leaving him with various insecurities.[6][7] Xander's lifelong best friend was Willow Rosenberg, who secretly harboured a hopeless crush on him. The pair briefly "dated" when they were five, but broke up over a stolen Barbie.[8] In kindergarten, Xander suffered an unknown humiliation involving Aqua man underpants.[9]Xander and Willow developed a mutual hatred of their snobby classmate Cordelia Chase, which led them to form the "We Hate Cordelia Club", of which Xander was the treasurer.[10] At his sixth birthday party, Xander's parents hired a clown which chased him; this traumatic incident gave him a lifelong phobia of clowns and caused him to suffer from nightmares.[11] When Xander did not get a toy fire truck for his seventh birthday, the house next door burned down and he believed that Willow had set the fire to let him see real fire trucks.[12] When he was seven, Xander had to take a test to see if he had a learning disability. Despite being a little slow on math and spatial relations, it was assured he wasn't "challenged".[13]When he was sixteen, he attended Willow's bat mitzvah, where his drunken parents caused a scene.[6]

Crush on the Slayer
In his sophomore year of high school, Xander met Buffy Summers on her first day at Sunnydale High and overheard her bizarre conversation with school librarian Rupert Giles regarding demons and vampires.[8] Xander and Willow discovered that Sunnydale was situated on a Hellmouth and that Buffy was actually the Slayer, granted supernatural powers and destined to fight the forces of evil. When his other best friend, Jesse McNally, was kidnapped and turned into a vampire, Xander fought him and accidentally staked him when someone pushed Jesse into the stake Xander was holding. After stopping theHarvest together, Buffy, Xander, Willow, and Giles formed the "Scooby Gang"; a small group of people who helped Buffy fight the forces of darkness.[14]

Xander acted mainly as a sideman alongside Buffy who always provided constant comic relief. One of his main aspects in his sophomore years was his longing attraction for Buffy which he quickly developed upon seeing her. This was put alongside when a beautiful substitute biology teacher named Miss French directed his interest into her. Ignoring Buffy and her suspicions about Miss French, Xander ended up finding out she was actually the She-Mantis, a giant insect that disguised itself as a beautiful woman to seduce, mate with and eventually eat male virgins. Buffy saved Xander before he could be raped and decapitated, and his attraction was returned to her.[15]

His feelings took a dangerous turn when he and a gang of bullies werepossessed by the spirit of a hyena, twisting his feelings to the point of obsession where he sexually assaulted her as well as committing several other exploits such as bulling students, insulting Willow and eating a live pig. Buffy and Giles eventually found a way to remove the hyena spirit from him and the other students. Embarrassed, he pretended that the experience was removed from his memory, with only Giles being aware of his memories.[16]

Returning to his schoolboy crush, Xander showed great jealousy to any man Buffy took an interest such as her brief relationship with loner Owen Thurman and her attraction to the handsome stranger Angel[17]. His hostility towards Angel grew stronger when he learned that Angel was a vampire, albeit one with a soul. He encouraged Buffy to kill him since she was the slayer and was willing to do so when it seemed that he hurt her mother. Finding out he was framed, Xander still didn't trust Angel and was shocked to discover Buffy still liked him.[18]

Come Prom time, Xander finally admitted his feelings to Buffy, wanting to take her as his date. Buffy did not share the same feelings and rejected him, leaving him bitterly disappointed. He then asked Willow on the rebound, but, despite her crush on him, rejected his offer as she knew his true intentions. Saddened and depressed, Xander lied on his bed and listened to country music ("the music of pain"). However, he still made it his mission to save Buffy when he was told she went off to fight the Master, despite destiny claiming she would die. Xander teamed up with Angel to look for her but was too late as the Master already drowned her. As Angel had no breath, Xander saved Buffy's life by performing CPR, allowing her to kill the Master. [19]

Overcoming insecurity
In his junior year, Xander still continued to have an attraction for Buffy, but to a lesser extent, despite having threatened to kill her when her new distant and emotionally crude attitude after her death experience got Willow kidnapped by vampires. During a foreign exchange student program, he fell for Buffy's assigned partner Ampata. However, he soon discovered she was an awokenIncan Mummy in disguise as a male Peruvian exchange student. As she needed to suck the essences of others to survive, effectively killing them, Xander refused to let her take Willow's life so they could be together and she then died. Being his second supernatural love interest, Xander noticed a pattern which would soon follow up.[20]

On Halloween, a spell caused the trick-or-treaters of Sunnydale to take on the personalities and/or traits of their costumes, transforming Xander into a soldier. When the spell was lifted, he retained his memories and knowledge of the military, giving him better fighting skills and the know-how on using certain weapons or technology.[21] This came at its handiest when Buffy needed to dissemble the Judge, a powerful demon who was invincible and could kill with a touch. With his knowledge, Xander got into a military barracks by blackmailing a soldier who was dressed wrongly, allowing Xander to obtain a rocket launcher for Buffy.[10]

While hiding from a demonic assassin in Buffy's basement, the tension between Xander and Cordelia resulted in a kiss. They tried to deny their attractions but couldn’t resist each other and the pair began a secret relationship, consisting largely of making-out in a closet.[22] When Willow discovered their affair, she was devastated and offended that Xander would rather be with Cordelia than her.[10]

Eventually, Cordelia's friends found out about the relationship as well, and Cordelia became alienated from the popular crowd, leading her to break up with Xander on Valentine's Day. Wanting revenge, Xander coerced the witchAmy Madison into casting a love spell on Cordelia so he could dump her so she could be hurt her like she hurt him. The spell backfired, and Xander became irresistible to every female in Sunnydale except Cordelia. He took no enjoyment and rejected all the advances from Amy, Willow and even Buffy, instead he tried to avoid the obsessed women who then aimed to kill him out of the desire to stop Xander falling in the hands of Cordelia, who accompanied him in his escape as she was targeted for rejecting him. As the spell was broken, Cordelia, realizing that Xander genuinely cared for her, reunited with him in defiance of her former friends and the two started an open relationship afterwards.[23]

After the suspected deaths of Sunnydale High Swim Team by fish-like beasts, Xander infiltrated the team by joining them, which required him to wear small red Speedos to the pleasure of Cordelia and Willow. He soon discovered that the swim team members were actually becoming Gill Monster opposed to being killed by them. Exposed by the performance-enhancing cold war drugs that initiated the change via aromatherapy, Xander feared he would become one of those monsters until he received the necessary treatments to undo the process when he and Buffy stopped the swim team's insane Coach who perpetrated the transformations.[24]

When Angel lost his soul and reverted to the evil Angelus, Xander felt that his long-standing mistrust of the vampire had been validated, especially when he murdered Giles' girlfriend, Jenny Calendar.[25] A rage-filled Xander opposed Buffy's back-up plan for Willow to re-ensoul him if required, believing Buffy wanted to forget his actions to get her boyfriend back. After the death of another slayer at the hands of Angel, Xander took the opportunity when Buffy was willing to kill Angelus and encouraged her to do so, deliberately neglecting to tell her that Willow was planning to re-ensoul him herself after attempting to do so the first time but failed when Angel's minions attacked them, causing a fighting Xander to break his arm before Giles was kidnapped. Xander later rescued Giles during their ambush Angelus' mansion before Buffy sent the newly ensouled Angel to hell.

Finding his identity
In his senior year of high school, Xander joined Willow and her new boyfriendOz in patrolling for vampires at night in place of Buffy who left Sunnydale to L.A. without word after her encounter with Angel. When she returned, Xander argued his disapproval for her leaving during her welcome back party, acknowledging that she was selfish to run away, especially from her mother.

Adding to further disappointment from Buffy, Xander was the first of the Scoobies to discover Angel's return from Hell, and that Buffy has been secretly rehabilitating him and still had feelings for him when he found them passionately kissing. Furious and disgusted that Buffy still loved Angel after Angelus' siege against Sunnydale only a year before, Xander immediately informed the other Scoobies of Angel's return and even went so far as to manipulate Faith Lehane into attempting to slay him. However, when Angel saved Willow from being killed by a corrupt ex-Watcher who was allegedly assigned to Faith, Xander begrudgingly accepted him back into the fold[26].

Suddenly, Xander began to have a romantic interest in Willow and she to him, leading to several secret kisses between them which was problematic because of their current respective partners. While Willow tried to find a way to end their urges through magic, they were kidnapped by Spike, a vampire that rampaged in Sunnydale for a period with his lover Drusilla who took Willow so she would use her skills in magic to create a love spell on Drusilla after she dumped him. Injured, Xander and Willow shared their final kiss that contributed to Cordelia suffering a near-fatal injury after she and Oz discovered the two in the act.[27]He appeared to her at the hospital with flowers and she immediately told him to stay away from her, thus ending their relationship. Returning to school, Cordelia's anger along with being mocked by her friends when she reunited with them, led to the arrival of the misandristic vengeance demon Anyanka in Sunnydale, though she was quickly depowered into a human.[28]

Following their break-up, Cordelia stepped up her usual ridicule of Xander, labelling him "The Zeppo" and mocking him for being useless compared to his friends, who were Slayers, witches, werewolves, and vampires. In an attempt to prove her wrong, Xander acquired a hotted-up car which led him to embarking on an adventure with a group of zombies, led by tough guy Jack O'Toole who used Xander as transportation. However, when O'Toole and his friends tried to blow up Sunnydale High, Xander single-handedly put an end to their plan by convincing Jack to deactivate the explosives. While this happened, the other Scoobies fought to prevent the apocalypse from happening, dismissing Xander's involvement for his safety and remaining unaware of Xander's heroism the next day.[13] Also, during that insane day, Xander also lost his virginity to Faith after he aided her during a fight. After this he believed he and Faith shared a connection, not knowing the full extent of her promiscuous behaviour and that he was just another man used and thrown by her. As Faith wouldn't own up after murdering a human, Xander approached but ended up nearly being raped before Angel saved him.

During the upcoming Senior Prom, Xander was asked by what was Anyanka, now Anya to go with her as neither of them had dates, so he accepted. During this time, he discovered that Cordelia's family lost their wealth, home, and cars because of her father's tax evasion, and made peace with Cordelia by helping her pay for her prom dress. At his high school graduation, Xander led Sunnydale High's students against Mayor Wilkins and his vampires, acting as a commander alongside Buffy. After the school blew up and killed the Mayor, Xander expressed his happiness that high school was literally destroyed and that it was the best part of it, which was agreed upon the rest of his friends.[29]

Struggle with Growing Up

 * "This is so like them lately. It's all about them and the college life. You know what college is? It's high school without the actual going to class. Well, high school was sort of like that too but the point is, I'm the one working hard to earn a living and it's a huge joke to them. "Xander got fired from Starbucks." "Xander got fired from the phone sex place…""
 * ―Xander[src]

Xander's inferiority complex and feelings of isolation increased when he chose not to enrol in UC Sunnydale like Buffy, Willow and Oz. After graduating from high school, he set upon a cross-country trip inspired by Jack Kerouac's On the Road that ended when his car broke down having only went as far as Oxnard. Needing to pay for repairs, he was forced to take a job as a dish washer at a "Ladies Night" club for a month and a half where no one ever spoke to him until one night when one of the male strippers called in sick, making him do the obvious, though he claimed that "no power on this earth would make me [Xander] tell you [Buffy] the rest of that story". He then traded his car for one that wasn't "entirely made out of rust". In his entire trip outside of Sunnydale, the only aspect of knowledge gaining he accomplished was watching the film Grand Canyon, which he found was lame.

Returning to Sunnydale, he moved into his parents' basement, where he had to pay rent. He arrived several days before his friend's first day at college without calling them, as he didn't want to help them move. Reuniting with Buffy, he continued to help the gang in fighting demons as well as hanging out on campus. During this time Xander took a series of odd jobs such as a food vendor, a phone-sex operator, and a deliveryman. His most notable jobs included being a bartender at the college bar after using a fake ID. There he served a brand of beer called Black Frost, that, not to his initial knowledge, was cursed by the bar owner to turn the patrons, including Buffy, into pre-human savages, likely leading to the end of that job where he expressed excitement of offering to light the cigarettes of patrons that were lonely. He also worked at a construction site, building a new Cultural Center that led him to being briefly contracted with mystical syphilis, malaria and small pox after he was attacked by the vengeful spirit of a Chumash Indian.

Shortly after his arrival to Sunnydale, Xander was approached by Anya who still had feelings for him, after very little persuasion, he had sex with Anya and they began dating.

Initially, his interest in Anya was purely sexual, but as time went on, he developed genuine feelings for her, eventually falling in love. Unfortunately, Xander's problems multiplied when he was forced to accept Spike as a roommate for a short time while the Scoobies were hiding from the Initiative. Throughout the year, Xander relentlessly had to deal with the fact that his friends were going places in their lives while he struggled to see himself as a grown-up. These feelings were used against him when Spike, recruited the gang's newest big bad Adam, used the power of words to separate Buffy, Willow, Giles and Xander. Spike made Xander feel he was useless in the gang and that his friends talked about sending him to the army, so Xander fled to the basement where he laid down in his bed in the nude. It wasn't until Anya came and made him feel important. He then rejoined his friends in their plan to defeat Adam. Walking through the Initiative compound, Xander helped Buffy clear throught he various rioting demons with the help of an Initiative taser blaster. He then joined them in performing theEnjoining spell, binding their essences with Xander providing the "heart" in the team so they could defeat Adam.

Later, when the four had movie night at Buffy's house, Xander broughtApocalypse Now but they didn't get to watch it because the First Slayerattacked them in their dreams, angry that Buffy worked with others to fight evil. In Xander's dream he abstractly dealt with aspects with his life such as his inner primal desires, insecurity around others, loyalty to Buffy, relationship with Anya, crummy upbringing and his journey in life.

Maturation

 * "You know what? I'm sick of this crap. I'm sick of being the guy who eats insects and gets the funny syphilis. As of this moment, it's over. I'm finished being everybody's butt-monkey!"
 * ―Xander decides to take control of his directionless life.[src]

When the famous vampire, Dracula, came to Sunnydale in search of the Slayer, he hypnotized Xander into briefly becoming his willing manservant. Xander became a bubbling, spider-eating Renfield that escorted an entranced Buffy to Dracula as he was promised he would become a vampire. He tried to prevent the intervention of Buffy's current boyfriend Riley Finn but was easily taken out. As he regained consciousness, Buffy already bested Dracula and Xander, free from his thrall, expressed his anger, not only at Dracula but generally how he is the "butt monkey", and declared he will be no more.[30]Despite what Dracula did to Xander, the pair apparently remained in touch through letters following Dracula's departure.[31]

Xander later decided to move out of his parent's basement and try for an apartment, but he failed to impress the the building manager with his inability to pay for it and his physical appearance, disappointing Anya who wanted him to buy it. When the demon Toth came in search of the Slayer and attack her with the Ferula Gemini, Xander took the blast for her and was then split into two separate beings; one displaying his strengths while carrying a flattened nickeland one displaying his weaknesses. His stronger half excelled, dressing more presentably and getting a promotion in his current job in construction which allowed him to lease the apartment. The weaker half believed the other half was the evil weapon of Toth that used the nickel to mesmerize people into trusting him. While the stronger Xander was with Anya, the weaker Xander tried to kill him with Anya's revolver. After Toth was killed, the Xanders found out about their true nature as Toth actually wanted to split Buffy into two; one as her Slayer side and the other powerless which, because if one duplicate would die so would the other, making her easier to kill and meaning both Xanders could've died. The Xanders were returned back into one being and Xander discovered that the reason one of them was so ambitious and fortunate because that was his true potential.

However, as Riley helped Xander move out of the basement, Riley revealed to Xander that he knew Buffy didn't love him.[12]Xander kept quiet until he confronted Buffy who was left with an ultimatum after she discovered Riley was secretly paying to be bitten by vampires for the rush as he felt neglected. Riley told Buffy that he would be leaving her to rejoin the military. After Buffy killed Riley's vampire clients, Xander came and told her that it was because she largely treated Riley as a rebound from Angel and asked her if she wanted really a serious relationship. She did but was too late and Riley left. From this, Xander made it known that he fully appreciated his relationship with Anya and how she made him feel like an adult. Xander, however, later became the center of a conflict between Anya and Willow who had disagreements about running Giles' shop The Magic Box when he temporarily left it to them. Anya was suspicious of Willow's feelings for Xander despite the fact she discovered she was gay a year before while Willow became irritated by Anya's personality. This led to them accidentally summoning Anya's ex-boyfriend and now troll, Olaf, who rampaged through the streets of Sunnydale. Xander tried to rescue the girls but was easily overpowered and was forced to choose between them. Luckily, Buffy came, having grown emotionally respondent from Xander and Anya's relationship, and defeated Olaf before he was taken out of this dimension.[32]

Shortly before going into battle with the hell-goddess Glory, Xander asked Anya to marry him should they survive and she accepted. During the battle, Xander acted as one of the many pillars to weaken Glory. As Buffy temporarily lost Olaf's mystical hammer (acquired to use against Glory after his defeat), Xander used his skills as the "glorified brick layer" against Glory by employing and operating a wrecking ball to keep her off her feet. Even though Glory was defeated, the portal to her dimension was opened via the blood of Buffy's sister Dawn Summers, causing strings of lightning bolts to spark which made a load of wreckage fall onto to Xander, but he was saved by Anya who pushed him out of the way and took the damage. Xander later carried an injured yet living Anya just before the dead body of Buffy who sacrificed herself to close the portal.

Unready Engagement
For months, Xander helped Willow, Tara and the Buffybot look after Dawn while Buffy was gone. Xander had doubts about his future with Anya and didn't want her to announce their engagement during such a time when they were recovering from their loss. He hesitantly joined in Willow's spell to resurrect Buffy despite having deep doubts about it. As the spell was successful, Xander announced the engagement during Halloween after seeing that everyone was happy after a strenuous day working at the Magic Box (it being the appropriately themed holiday), letting it slip with watching Anya's "Dance of Capitalist Superiority".

Xander also tried to help Buffy find a job by letting her try at the construction site, making use of her superhuman strength, though only caused trouble for him when Buffy was attacked by a bunch of demons. Hoping for a happy ending, he summoned the demon Sweet to turn Sunnydale into a living musical, which went horribly wrong when people started bursting into flames as well as singing their feelings out.

During that period, Xander and Anya both expressed their love and excitement over their upcoming marriage while also revealing each other's flaws. Buffy also revealed that - while dead - she was actually in what she believed was heaven and her return to life was hell by contrast.[33] Buffy then began a secret affair with Spike which Xander turned a blind eye to despite some heavy indication when she was briefly turned invisible, having nearly caught them in the act during that period. Xander and Anya showed both excitement and frustration on their upcoming wedding as they both learned to Waltz while arguing about preparations which became resolved after being given advice from Riley and his new wife Sam during a visit to Sunnydale in order to kill a demon.

They concluded that they feared their wedding, not their marriage. Xander, however, was not. Xander's fears over marrying Anya were made worse during their wedding by a visit from a demon pretending to be his future self, showing him a bitter future trapped in a marriage similar to that of his parents.[6] Although the vision was later revealed to be false, Xander became more conscious of the doubts he was already having, especially seeing his drunken father abuse Xander's mother and insult Anya's demonic "family". Not wanting to hurt Anya, he decided call off the wedding, leaving a heartbroken Anya at the altar.

Xander then fled to a hotel for the night before returning to his apartment where he drowned his sorrows in beer and music. Xander attempted to fix things with Anya as he still loved her. However, pain-hearted Anya returned to the vengeance fold and tried to have Xander's friends make wishes against him. Failing to do so, Anya became drunk with Spike and subsequently had sex with him. Discovering them in the act, Xander attacked and very nearly killed him in a jealous rage, but abandoned those plans out of anger and disgust when he and the other Scoobies discovered that Buffy and Spike had been sleeping together behind their backs for quite some time.[34]

When Spike subsequently attempted to rape Buffy, Xander was infuriated, and later realized that Buffy had not told them about her relationship with Spike because she knew that Xander would react as he had. After a peaceful conversation, Xander subsequently made amends with Buffy.[35]

When Willow's girlfriend, Tara Maclay, was fatally shot by Warren Mears, who was trying to kill Buffy, Xander blamed himself for both that and Willow's subsequent turn to the dark side, remarking that he had seen Warren's gun before he raised it and was merely frozen with fear while he shot both Buffy and Tara. Xander was so enraged at Tara's death that he supported Willow's intentions to kill Warren in revenge until she actually did so.[36]

Willow attempted to destroy the world, and as Buffy was unable to stop her, Xander came to Willow, claiming if the world were to end he would be by her side. Even as Willow attacked him, Xander simply refused to leave her and love her, which managed to return her to her senses and restore her humanity.[37]

The One Who Sees

 * "They'll never know how tough it is, Dawnie. To be the one who isn't chosen. To live so near to the spotlight and never step in it. But I know. I see more than anybody realizes because...nobody's watching me. I saw you last night. I see you working here today. You're not special. You're extraordinary."
 * ―Xander[src]

The following year, Xander looked after Dawn along with Buffy while Willow was away in England for rehabilitation with Giles. He continued a steady career in construction where he was one of the workers who built the new Sunnydale High. This allowed him access to a map of the restored school where Dawn attended that year so she could avoid any supernatural occurances though this did not stop Dawn from encountering a group of evil manifestations on her first day which Xander defeated by destroying their tailsmen.

As the remaining Scoobies came into contact with a still-demonic Anya, Xander struggled over his feelings for her. He protested to the notion of Buffy killing Anya after she had a group of frat boys killed, believing their was still a chance to redeem her even though Anya didn't didn't believe it herself. He warned Anya of Buffy's intentions but Anya nevertheless fought back until her bossD'Hoffryn intervened, having been summoned by a recovering Willow. In order to revive the frat boys, Anya was stripped of her powers once more and she and Xander finally broke up for good, despite admitting that they still loved each other, though they did continue to have the odd fling in times of crisis. Xander played an active role during Buffy's conflict against the First Evil and his attempt at ending the Slayer line by murdering all Potential Slayers in Buffy's protection. It was his job in construction that provided Buffy an arena to fight the near-invincible Turok-Han vampire in order to provide an example towards the Potentials.

When Buffy's sister Dawn mistakenly believed herself to be a Potential Slayer, Xander empathized with her disappointment at not being the one in the spotlight while also praising her initiative when she encouraged the actual Potential Amanda to follow her destiny. [38]

Xander had his left eye gouged out by the evil preacher Caleb, and began wearing an eye patch.[39][40]Despite his insistence on fighting side-by-side with Buffy, Xander was pleaded to drive himself and Dawn out of Sunnydale as the two of them were the most vulnerable. He had to have her chloroformed as she couldn't be negotiated with but ended up being tasered unconscious and driven back to the Summer's home by Dawn herself.

In the final battle against the First Evil, Xander fought alongside Dawn while Anya was killed by a Bringer's sword, and her body remained in the new Sunnydale High's ruins as the empty town was swallowed by the earth. Andrew Wells, whom she had fought alongside, comforted Xander by saying that Anya had died saving his life. Xander replied by saying "That's my girl. Always doing the stupid thing."

Watcher
Following Sunnydale's destruction, Xander took a "leave of absence" from the Scooby Gang to mourn Anya's death.[31] He spent some time in Africa,[41] and eventually reunited with Dracula. Falling under his thrall again, Xander resumed his old position as the vampire's loyal manservant, living with him in his Transylvanian castle for several months, during which the pair provided each other company and Xander taught Dracula how to ride a motorcycle.[42][31]Buffy eventually tracked her friend down and showed up at Dracula's castle with two other Slayers in a bid to rescue him, but the brainwashed Xander remained loyal to his "master" and tried to fight them off. Eventually, Dracula admitted that Xander belonged with his friends, and, after an emotional farewell, released him from his trance.[42]

Xander returned to the Scooby Gang, which had expanded into a worldwide organization, and took on a Watcher-like role leading various Slayer squads from the central command base in Scotland via computer screens and earpieces.[43] Xander became a confidante to Dawn after she was turned into a giant by her Thricewise ex-boyfriend Kenny; she admitted to only Xander that Kenny cursed her because she slept with his roommate Nick. Xander also began a flirtatious relationship with a Slayer named Renee, eventually asking her out on a date. When the Scoobies came under attack from Japanese vampires with unusual powers, Xander reluctantly recruited his former master Dracula as an ally to help bring them down.[44]

In Tokyo, the Slayers confronted the vampires, and Renee was brutally killed by the leader, Toru.[45] Dracula protected a grief-stricken Xander during the battle and fought Toru, but handed the killing blow over to Xander, who decapitated him. Afterwards, Xander scattered Renee's ashes and angrily told Dracula that he would no longer be the vampire's manservant.[46] Dawn's bizarre mystical transformations continued when she turned into a centaur; Xander assured her she looked "awesome" as a centaur and even rode her to safety when their Scotland base came under attack from the Twilight terrorist organization.

When Dawn was finally released from her transformation curse by Kenny, she and Xander realized they had developed romantic feelings for one another and began a relationship in private. This relationship was eventually discovered by a devastated Buffy, who admitted that she too was now attracted to Xander.[47] Buffy tried to explain her feelings to Xander, but he gently dismissed them as her need for connection and informed her that he was in love with her sister.[48] When the apocalypse known as Twilight threatened the existence of the entire universe, Xander suggested to Dawn that if they survived, the pair of them get an apartment together and live a normal life. Dawn was later injured by a demon inside the crater that was once Sunnydale; Xander carried her to safety and accepted medical help from their enemy, the General. The General observed that Xander and Dawn were ordinary people caught up in a magical war that wasn't theirs, leading Xander to believe they wouldn't survive. After she and Xander witnessed Giles die, Buffy finally defeated Twilight by smashing theSeed of Wonder, but severed Earth's connection to magic in the process. As a dazed Angel awoke from his possession, completely ignorant of his killing of Giles, Xander flew into a murderous rage. He violently assaulted him and punched him multiple times, too far gone into irrational fury to listen to Angel's vain explanations of being taken over by Twilight. Xander grabbed the scythe and prepared to stake him, permanently ending his existence. However, Buffy quickly intervened and prevented him for killing Angel much to his indignantion. As a tearful Buffy pleaded to him that she didn't want to lose anyone else especially Xander himself by crossing a line, he backed down and relented. As the feeling of despair and loss overcame them, they both gazed sadly at Giles' dead body. [49]

San Francisco
With magic cut off from the world, the Slayer organization disbanded and theScoobies returned to relatively normal lives. As they had planned, Xander and Dawn moved into an apartment together in San Francisco, with Xander resuming his career in construction.

As the year passed by, Xander struggled with his retirement into normalcy for the most part. He helped Buffy who was earlier caught by the cops[50] and briefly came out of retirement to help Robert Dowling against the zompireversion of his partner Cheung, giving the policemen advice by referring to the first vampire he staked, his friend Jesse McNally. [51]

Xander spent time with Buffy at his house, rekindling their friendship that was previously somewhat distant during most of the year. He had even playfully, along with Dawn, teased her about the cop Dowling and over whether or not she liked him.[52]

However, this moment of peace and enjoyment was soon broken. Dawn's health continued to deteriorate, much to his distress. Eventually, his girlfriend suddenly passed out. Immediately, Xander transported her to hospital to have her treated. Much to his confusion, the doctor claimed she fell into a coma but he could see nothing wrong with her at all. Soon after, Buffy, Andrew, and Illyria finally arrive. It didn't take very long to figure out what was wrong with her. Xander and Buffy were horrified to realize the end of magic was the cause of this, Illyria elaborating by the shocking truth of Dawn's essence fading away because of her former status as The Key. In other words, she was on the way to her death and nothing could stop it.

Later, at Andrew's apartment, Buffy followed him out on the balcony to comfort him over what was happening. Unfortunately for her, Xander's patience with her had broken entirely by that point. Fed up with everything, he let out all of his hidden resentment and anger towards his friend. He critically and harshly blamed Buffy for Dawn's condition, only for her to defensively retort that her destruction of the Seed that caused the end of magic was the only choice she had. This did to little to sway him, only proceeding to angrily say she's to blame because she had slept with Angel. Still not willing to hear her excuses or explanations, she miserably reminded him that Dawn was her sister and she wouldn't give up on her.[49]

After her failed attempts to get help, Buffy once again attempted to persuade him that to save Dawn, they had to work together. Xander was still furious and unforgiving with her, to the point he refused to talk to her directly. As Andrew "translates" for him, when she reiterated that Dawn's life being threatened was not her fault, Xander angrily stormed out of the apartment, sick of Buffy's indifference. He reflected on how all he had done was "watch" the people he loved constantly dying in front of him, never being able to do anything to help. Xander struggled with his sense of helplessness as he saw Dawn fading out of a photograph he was carrying, remembering that he had stayed out of supernatural affairs to keep her safe. Suddenly, he was teleported to the location of Severin and Simone. Immediately on the defensive, he was about to attack Simone until she pulled out a gun.

Simone and Severin express an awareness of what was happening to Dawn. Severin began to manipulate Xander to help them and in return, they will help him save her. He told him that he wanted to save his own deceased girlfriend he had to kill because of the end of magic and that, thanks to Illyria's powers, he could prevent Twilight from ever happening, in doing so prevent Giles' death, save Dawn, and all the other ill effects the destruction of the seed caused. In a moment of weakness, Xander asked him what it was he had to do. Severin explained all he needed him to do was steal the Vampyr book and that was it. Xander became suspicious and uncertain, questioning if they intended to kill Buffy. He assured him he didn't and all he wanted was the book.

Despite his uncertainity and great reluctance to betray Buffy, Xander was heavily tempted by the prospect of reversing Twilight and saving Dawn's life. Having reached his limit in the constant level of uselessness he had been feeling for years, Xander made the crucial decision to side with Simone and Severin and ultimately betray Buffy's trust as a result.[49] Having had Simone beat him up to make it seem like he rejected their proposition, Xander was teleported on the street where Buffy happened to be. Despite his intentions, he had told her the truth about what they had wanted with him. He was clearly angered and annoyed when she has assumed he would betray her to stop Twilight from happening for a minute, though claimed that he he did remember Buffy's sacrifice for Dawn's life and that he could not betray her with that knowledge. Xander continued to feed her information about Severin and their interest in the Vampyr book. Eventually, when Willow managed to make Dawn conscious and they formed a plan to go to the Deeper Well in England to charge her up, he had been persistent on going. His girlfriend had begged him to stay with her and that they didn't need his help, but Xander explained they could not save her and only he could when his plan was going into motion so therefore he had to go.

Reaching the Deeper Well with the other Scoobies, Severin and Simone were seen to be aware of what Buffy's plans were as Xander had already told them. Along with Buffy and Willow, the three stood up against Illyria's mystical council.[53]

While Buffy and Willow fought against the council demons, Xander stood on the sidelines, texting Simone and Severin information. They were insisting they needed him to buy more time. Before Xander could think of something, he was attacked by a powerful demon. Buffy and the others quickly came to his rescue. As Buffy and Willow came up with a plan to move forward, Xander protested, arguing that they would die if they did. When they still did not change their minds, Xander panicked. Unable to watch his friends run blindly in an unneccessary battle, Xander spilled everything he done with Severin and Simone to reverse Twilight and save Dawn. Buffy was the most affected his his betrayal, angry and hurt. Everyone reaching a unanimous vote that it was Xander's fault, the group steeled themselves to stop Severin since what he was doing would create tears in the reality and end the world.[54]

While Buffy and Willow journeyed deeper into the Well, Xander was left on the sidelines since his friends no longer trusted him. Just then, he recieved a phone call. Xander answered the phone angrily, only to be surprised to realize that it was Spike who called him. While semi-snarking with each other, Spike informed him that Simone's secret plan all along was to form an army of slayer-turned-zompires (or as Xander called them, "slaypires") to rise up against Buffy and everyone else. When Spike told him of Dawn's form starting to disappear as well as his own memories of her beginning to go, Xander ordered the vampire to put her on the phone. Dawn expressed her confusion and fear of her condition, while Xander tried to comfort her and told her that whatever happened, she would always be in his heart.

Armed with Spike's information, Xander sought to find Buffy. He quickly found her, only for them to both come across the dead body of renegade slayer Simone near the coffin of an Old One. He told her of Simone's plan and while Buffy still regarded him with hostility, she chose to believe him. While Buffy attempted to decapitate Simone, she suddenly woke up as a zompire and attacked them both. [55]

As Buffy's fight raged on with Simone, Xander grew increasingly impatient and tried to attack her many times. He was especially angry when Simone told him she never intended to help him with Dawn. Quickly, she dispatched him and pushed him off a ledge. However, Xander was saved by Willow. Turning his attention back to the fight, Xander was horrified to see an unconscious Buffy held limply by her scythe, Simone having severely overpowered in her moment of distraction.[56]

Personality

 * "Sorry. Joking in the face of death. I do that."
 * ―Xander[src]

Xander's most notable character trait was his sarcastic, flippant attitude and sardonic views on life. He often joked in serious situations or when someone made what was intended to be a dramatic statement which is usually unnecessary. He frequently quipped about school, his family, and his romantic life; in the case of the former two, this appeared to be a cover of his dislike for both. He was scared of failing his friends as well as not making something of himself, as indicated by his dreams when he continually returned to his basement.[7]

Xander's hidden feelings of being a failure in the eyes of his loved ones and never being able to help them enough continued to build more and more over the years. While Dawn was on her way to her death, he bitterly reflected that all he has ever done is "watch". He had never been able to truly save his friends when it really mattered, causing a deep-rooted self-loathing and inferiority complex. This esclated to the point that he had decided to betray Buffy by teaming up with Severin to erase Twilight, unable to sit back and watch anymore if there was a possibility he could do something about it.[49] Additionally, even after he got over his crush onBuffy, Xander continued to show obvious jealousy of Buffy's boyfriends, the only exception being Riley Finn, whom he formed a friendship with. Xander is childish and funny.

Although Xander was often laid-back and easygoing, he could overreact in certain situations and lose his temper. He also had a frequent tendency to quip against his foes with the most ridiculous choice of words, often finding something insulting to say. He was usually comically surprised and angry during one of the rare occassions he could not think of one.

Being overprotective by nature towards his friends, especially Buffy and Willow, Xander was very loyal to friends who he viewed as family. When Willow was kidnapped,[57] a furious Xander told Buffy he would kill her if Willow got hurt; after Spike attempted to rape Buffy, Xander remained openly hostile and distrustful of him even after learning that he had regained his soul, certain for some time that Spike would attempt to do so again at the first opportunity. Xander had also nearly staked Angel when he had snapped Giles' neck under the possession of Twilight, stopped only because of Buffy's interference.[49]

He would speak his mind on issues involving his friends and was always willing to stand by and fight for them when necessary. Xander was very forward and brutually blunt when it came to expressing his opinion, never afraid to speak out and tell his friends if they're doing something wrong, making him very opinionated; this has caused him to clash and argue with his friends many times, especially Buffy. Despite not being supernatural, Xander became more brave and courageous and was quite useful. Another notable trait of Xander, unlike his best friend Willow, was his tendency to hold grudges. It usually took him a very long time to let things go, especially in the case of murderers. He could be very judgemental and critical of others to an extreme, even if he was no better. But he swallows his pride and let's it go, whether he trust them or not. Xander is also very forgiving and doesn't say anything. He also works with Angel or Spike, whether he likes him or not. But one thing Angel and Xander one thing in common, just like Riley, Robin Wood and Rupert Giles. They all despise Spike.

Xander immediately took the black and white view of "vampires are bad", which could very likely be attributed to the death of his long-time friend Jesse McNally. This view also carried over to "good vampires" like Angel and Spike, both of whom he openly detested; however, he was capable of putting his dislike of them aside and working with them when the situation called for it.

Xander father is a drunk and a bully. People always ask, why Xander is nothing like his father or his family. Simple he had Willow, back then. Buffy, Giles and the rest of the Scooby gang prevented him for being a drunk or a bully like his father.

Powers and Abilities

 * "They'll never know how tough it is, Dawnie. To be the one who isn't chosen; to live so near the spotlight and never step in it. But I know. I see more than anybody realizes, 'cause nobody's watching me."
 * ―Xander Harris[src]

Xander demonstrates that even an "average" person can make a difference and save the world. He never developed any permanent superpowers of his own, but gained much experience from battling by Buffy's side. As Buffy explains to the Watchers Council, Xander had "clocked more field time" than all other Watchers combined. Xander has excellent detective skills and excellent with researching and coming up with ideas. Xander may not be book smart, but he is street smart. [58] His gifts of persuasion and empathy were often his most useful assets. For example, Xander saved the world from Dark Willow, using only his words.[37] He also recognized that Buffy and Riley were "imploding" and forced Buffy to accept responsibility for the failed relationship.[59]

While possessed by a demonic "hyena" spirit,[16] Xander exhibited enhanced strength almost equal to a Slayer, and heightened senses, as well as predatory instincts, a taste for fresh, raw meat, and a lack of social inhibitions. He lost all of these capabilities when the spirit was exorcised; while he retained his memories of this experience, he kept it secret from everyone except Giles.

Xander was briefly transformed into a soldier on Halloween, and thereby acquired knowledge of military training, tactics, codes, and weapons handling techniques, enabling him to steal and use a rocket launcher to destroy the Judge,[10] and later to organize and lead a group defence against Mayor Wilkins after his Ascension to Olvikan was completed.[29] These skills slowly decayed by his own admission,[60] and he was later unable to decipher Riley's military hand-signs while on patrol.[61] While he also demonstrated knowledge of the First's hypnotic control over Spike,[62] he claimed this was just from seeing military films and not from his "army days". Xander was once hit by a bolt from the Ferula Gemina which split his personality into two different beings.[12] One Xander possessed Xander's more aggressive traits, such as his courage and confidence, easily getting a promotion and a large apartment, in addition to some of Xander's impetuous qualities and impatience. The other Xander possessed his more passive traits, including his sense of humour and fun, in addition to being highly insecure and paranoid, believing his double to be a demon who was hypnotizing his friends and trying to steal his life.[63] However, both Xanders were both fiercely protective of Anya. Shortly before Willow fused them back together, they showed the same quirks, causing Giles to proclaim him "a bad influence on himself."

Xander was something of an expert on pop culture; he read X-Men comics, spider-man, superman and Batman.[64] and referenced both the Human Torch and Nick Fury. Xander displayed the ability to read Klingon.[35] He often demonstrates pop culture knowledge rivalling that of Andrew Wells. Xander became a skilled carpenter, gaining practical job experience from repairing damage caused by various conflicts involving the Scooby Gang (most notably the windows atBuffy's house; Xander complained he was doomed to replace their windows for all eternity) and as a foreman of a construction crew.[12] Spike mockingly referred to Xander as "a glorified bricklayer."[65]

Both Xander and evil priest Caleb noted that Xander was "the one that sees everything", including his friends' flaws and strengths, more clearly than anyone else simply because no one was looking at him. Dawn suggested this may be his super power. This human (non-supernatural) strength - his insight, empathy, and understanding - was what prompted Caleb to take Xander's eye, also knowing it would incite Buffy's wrath. Xander also showed he was a skilled archer: he impaled Caleb's hand with an arrow from a distance.

Xander used his military knowledge to lead a paramilitary group of Slayers, witches and seers based in a Scottish castle, viewed from outside as an international "terrorist" organization. The organization which he and Buffy headed employed high-tech and magical weaponry. Xander oversaw and orchestrated the efforts of Willow, Dawn, Buffy, and his Slayers through cameras and earpieces. He again displayed a broad knowledge of warfare and military operations by instructing the Slayers in the use of various modern weapons and basic strategy.[47]

RomanticEdit

 * "Why do demon women always find me attractive?! There has to be a reason!"
 * ―Xander[src]

A recurring joke about Xander was that he was a "demon magnet," as many of the women he had dated or been attracted to have turned out to be demonic or in some other way supernatural.
 * Natalie French (She-Mantis)  — The real Natalie French was born in 1907 and taught for a few decades at Sunnydale High. Her name was stolen by a demonic she-mantis whose pheromones attracted many of Sunnydale's males. She drugged Xander's drink at her house and intended to mate with him before beheading him. Buffy managed to stop her and save Xander in time.[15]


 * Ampata Gutierrez — An Incan mummy girl, impersonating an exchange student named Ampata, wanted to live the normal life she had given up in order to save her people. She fell for Xander, as he was the first male she'd ever met who didn't treat her as a princess, but as a person. However, her relationship with Xander was short-lived; she attempted to kiss him (and thus drain him of his life in order to continue her own), when he offered himself to her to stop her from draining and killing Buffy and Willow. In the end, however, she collapsed as the life forces left her, and did not drain any of them.[20]


 * Kendra Young — Upon seeing the slayer, Xander became instantly attracted to her. He flirted with her, saying "You're a Slayer; I like that in a woman". Since Kendra had been taught to adhere to her slayer duties over interacting with boys, she nervously swelled into fear when she responded. Xander was then estranged by her reply and no longer made any moves afterwards.[22]


 * Every woman in Sunnydale — After Amy performed a magic spell to make Cordelia fall madly in love with Xander just so he could break up with her and hurt her, it backfired and made every woman (Amy herself and vampire Drusilla included) in Sunnydale except Cordelia fall in love with the "irresistible" Xander Harris; as a result, Xander was nearly killed by a veritable army of demented women who were resolved to kill Xander if they couldn't have him for themselves. [23]


 * Cordelia Chase — Cordelia and Xander met as children and were antagonistic from the beginning, making their romantic relationship in high school all the more bewildering. However, Vampire Xander from the Wishversedid admit some attraction by describing Cordelia as an 'old crush'.[28] They faced several obstacles, including peer pressure from Cordelia's clique (she was ostracized from her social circle), Cordelia's self-involved and insensitive manner, and Xander's unresolved attraction to Willow, Buffy, and Faith. However, Xander did appear to have genuine feelings for Cordelia during their time together despite cheating on her with Willow. Cordelia also privately admitted to Buffy that she loved Xander, much to Buffy's surprise and that he "sorta grows on you, like a Chia Pet."[66] When Cordelia discovered Xander and Willow kissing in the basement of an abandoned factory (where they were being held prisoner), she ended their relationship for good.[27] Xander had called her many times and attempted to fix things with her, only to have Cordelia firmly ignore him, too humiliated and hurt to forgive him or get back with him ever again. After their breakup, Cordelia became more openly hostile and resented Xander, causing him to fall back on his sarcastic insults. After a particularly eventful and heroic night for him, Xander had been able to ignore her snarky remarks about his usefulness to the Scooby Gang, smiling at her smugly and not saying anything. This greatly confused and frustrated Cordelia.[13] Nonetheless, Xander retained his romantic affection for Cordelia, showing obvious jealous over her superficial attraction to the Wesley on many occasions.[67]While watching Cordelia cheer at a pep rally, he had claimed to Oz that he didn't understand why he wasted his time on her and that she wasn't that good-looking. However his words were quickly contradicted after spotting Wesley look at her, saying in jealous spite “My God! He's lookin' at her! He's got his filthy Pierce Brosnany eyes all over my Cordy!"[68] After he had exchanged his daily dose of barbs with Cordelia, Willow had been frustrated, wondering why he always provoked and egged her on. Xander's simple response was: “I can't help myself. It's part of my nature. “Coming to the conclusion that her remarks were a bit more bitter than usual, he had once again taunted her, claiming that she wasn't accepted into any colleges. Angry, Cordelia revealed to him all of her college invitations while slightly surprised and impressed Xander.[69] Originally ignorant of his ex's problems, Cordelia, in a fit of stress and frustration, revealed to him her financial problems because of her father's unpaid taxes and how she couldn't even afford the dress she wanted for the prom. Xander quickly felt sorry and regretted his harsh words before; deciding to not tell the Scooby Gang that she was broke like she had assumed he would. He secretly bought the dress for her she couldn't afford, earning him Cordelia's deep gratitude. He had complimented that it looked good on her and they seemed to settle on a hesitant friendship. Cordelia and Xander spent some time together as friends throughout Graduation[70] and she helped defeat The Mayor.[71] After graduation, their lives took different paths; he remained in Sunnydale and fought evil with Buffy, and she moved to Los Angeles to become an actress and later to "help the helpless" with Angel.[72]Cordelia was the only non-supernatural girl he dated. Ironically, she did later become a seer half-demon on Angel.[73]


 * Faith Lehane — Some weeks after his relationship with Cordelia dissolved, Xander found himself helping Faith fight a demon one night. After the battle, an adrenaline-fueled Faith took Xander back to her apartment and had sex with him; this was Xander's first sexual encounter. She hastily threw Xander out of her apartment afterwards once she finished with him.[13] Weeks later, after Faith had gone rogue and killed a man, Xander confronted her about her actions, mistakenly believing that they had a connection. Faith started to rape Xander and then to strangle him before being hit in the head with a baseball bat by Angel. Faith mentioned that she never wanted a relationship like Xander thought that she did, and was merely with him for the sex.[74] While in Buffy's body, after hearing about Xander and his new girlfriend Anya's romantic evening which would consist of having sex but candles, Faith commented on Xander's performance, remarking "wouldn't want to cut in that 7 minutes".[75] When some Potential Slayerscomplained about Anya mentioning her sex-life with Xander, Faith said that whenever she heard Anya talking about sex, she reminded Anya that she was Xander's first, which made her shut up. Years later, after Rupert Giles' death and the reading of his will, Xander was revealed to be quietly furious that Faith had received Giles's estate and horses while Buffy was only given the Vampyr book, Faith describing him as "practically shooting a hate beam at her and that was only with one eye."[76]


 * Anya Jenkins — Xander originally held mild annoyance of Anya and was seen to be greatly confused that she had wanted to go to the prom with him, due to her distain of men of any kind. Driven by desperation, Xander agreed to go with her but soon became visibly uncomfortable and overwhelmed with her gory stories of her Vengeance Demon days, so much so that he had rather wanted to talk to his ex-girlfriend Cordelia(who was with Wesley), displaying no jealousy in his desire to not hear her stories. They nonetheless shared an awkward dance.[71] As Anya developed feelings for him and tried to get into conversation, Xander shared no mutual interest. Despite her offer to run away with her during the Ascension, Xander declined, deciding to stay and help his friends[70] Anya quickly came back to Sunnydale and immediately sought out Xander, openly wondering what place their relationship was out. He was shocked and overwhelmed by this, immediately confused by her belief that they actually had a relationship. He semi-seriously rejected her advances at first, reminding her that it just "happened" and it wasn't neccessarily anything yet. Nonetheless, Anya continued her sexual advances, stripping down naked in front of him to get him to sleep with her so he was "out of her system". Stunned, Xander at first told her sex was about expressing feelings and conseqences but he did like her "directness". At the information that she had condoms, Xander quickly gave him, saying " And the amazing thing? Still more romantic than Faith."  They had sex, causing Anya to claim she was "over him". Xander didn't seem too care much, just agreeing which only angered her. She once again tried to talk to him, only to get dismissively brushed off by him as Buffy was in danger.[77]Relentless as ever, Anya returned with her feelings for him still intact. Xander was shocked by this, assuming she was over him (much to Anya's frustration). Beginning to develop slightly serious affection for her, he offered her to come to the Halloween haunted house with his friends, admitting it had "date-like qualities". [78] Xander and Anya soon started dating.[79]Anya became disappointed and disatisfied with him, believing that Xander did not care about her feelings or what ever happened to her, all he cared about was sex. Xander was annoyed by her desire for more attention, glibly saying "You really have become a real girl, now have you?" However, Anya soon saw he really did care for her when he had violently attacked Spike for assuming he had killed her. [80]Their relationship had another snag when Anya wrongly assumed that Xander was no longer interested in her since had hadn't had sex with her in two days. Xander disagreed, and tried to reassure her that there was more to their relationship then sex. Anya didn't listen and discussed her woes with Spike, connecting in their complicated relationships as well as loss of their supernatural abilities. Xander was naturally jealous of Spike and ended up arguing with her, causing Anya to break up with him under the wrong belief he still wasn't in to her. However, after battling together in the Frat house, Xander and Anya made up and quickly got back together.[81]Anya comforted Xander in her own way after his fall out with his friends, Anya confessing to him she was in love with him for the first time. Xander was grateful for her support, but did not say he loved her back.[82]Anya began growing frustrated that Xander still in his basement, causing him to buy an apartment. After being split into two Xanders, it became clear that he did have more genuine feelings for her past physical. "Smooth Xander" alleviated Anya's fears of him finding her repulsive when she got old, saying that being human was not a bad thing like she thought. "Weak Xander" also became paranoid when he thought his more confident other was evil, declaring he could take anything else in his life but not Anya.[12]Despite Xander's continual stress over Anya's lack of social politeness and extremely blunt way of talking about their sex life, he fell deeply in love with her. After an argument with Buffy, he would finally admit that was was in love with Anya and that she made him feel something he had never felt before--- like a man.[83]Conflict began to arise when Willow and Anya frequently argued together, causing Xander to be annoyed and angry they were trying to make him chose sides. Xander admitted to Spike he felt torn between his loyalty to Willow and his love for Anya. However, Xander refused to sacrifice either of them when Olaf gave had him in his clutches, even if it meant dying himself.[84]After sleeping together, Anya would express how it was meant to create life. Xander was uncomfortable at the insinuations, not nearly ready to have children with her. Anya agreed, insisted they could someday and that was beautiful. Xander was touched, showing further depth to their relationship.[85]After sleeping together on the eve of the battle with Glory, Xander suddenly proposed to Anya. She responded badly at first, believing he was only doing so because they were going to die, but happily accepted in the end.[86] However, Xander initially wanted to keep their engagement a secret following Buffy's death, much to Anya's great confusion and annoyance.[87] The two came very close to getting married and retained strong feelings for each other The two offically remained broken up, but once Xander lost his eye, Anya began to care for him more. The two became swept up in the moment when overhearing Willow and Kennedy, and Principal Wood and Faith, respectively, having sex. Before going into the final battle, Anya and Xander wished each other luck. Anya fought alongside Andrew, but she was killed by a Bringer. As the school was crumbling, Xander frantically called out Anya's name, but didn't notice her body lying on the floor. When Xander asked Andrew what happened to Anya, he was told that she died protecting Andrew, to which Xander replies "That's my girl. Always doing the stupid thing." [88]


 * Julie — After temporarily separating from Anya from a fight during the Lowell House party, Xander showed a mutual attraction to a college girl named Julie. Xander he played spin the bottle with her with seemingly purposeful intentions but when set to kiss each other he wasn't in for it and instead kissed her on the cheek. Julie, on the contrary, kissed him lustfully due to the influence of a poltergeist. She then ran off and Xander found her cutting her own hair in disgust.


 * Nancy — After being frustrated with his own relationship problems with Anya and others in the past, Xander luckily ran into Nancy and, along with the gang, protected her from a giant worm-like demon that was specifically attacking her. Xander walked her home, and, both new at dating, they awkwardly asked each other out. However, after finding out the demon was Nancy's ex-boyfriend who was turned into the worm-like creature by Xander's own ex-fiancée, Anya, the two never dated. [89]


 * Lissa — Approximately a year after his breakup with Anya, Xander took another dip in the dating pool, and impulsively asked out Lissa, a beautiful woman he met at a hardware store. Their date went well until Lissa tied Xander to a torture wheel, revealed herself to be a demon, and cheerfully prepared to use Xander as a human sacrifice. Xander, before being rescued, pondered what caused him to keep getting involved with female demons and that there had to be a reason. This event frustrated him so much to the point that he even tried (unsuccessfully) to convince Willow to 'turn him gay' or 'gay him up.'[90]


 * Renee— Renee was a young Slayer who had a crush on Xander. BeforeAmy's army of the undead, she and another Slayer were talking about Renee's feelings for him, which she denied. Later, she and Xander joked with each other and he comforted her about feeling like she was doing a poor job as a Slayer. The pair travelled together to Dracula's castle and then to Japan to help Buffy get The Scythe back. Before they departed for The Scythe rescue mission, they shared a kiss and she asked Xander on a date. During the mission, however, Renee was killed by Toru, leader of the Tokyo vampires. After the mission, Xander spread her ashes on a Japanese garden.


 * Dawn Summers — During her childhood, Dawn had a crush on Xander which he was aware of but did not return, instead viewing her as a little sister. Nonetheless, he was very fond of Dawn and tended to sympathize with her, in contrast to Buffy's more harsh approach to any mistakes she made.[91]Upon realizing Dawn was The Key, Xander was shocked but did his best to treat her normally. During a conversation with Giles, Xander mentioned Dawn's crush on him and seemed to be flattered by it since she was once a "powerful being, big energy gal."[92] When told of Dawn's crush on Spike, Xander was shocked and slightly jealous since he had felt like the "cool one" through her feelings.[93] On one occasion, Xander displayed an attraction to Dawn when seeing her dance seductively with R.J. Brooks, only to be startled and horrified to realize it had been Dawn.[94] For the most part, Xander and Dawn's relationship was more like that of an older brother and younger sister. Xander became Dawn's only confidante throughout her many shape shifting episodes. Following the retreat of the Slayer Organization to Tibet, Buffy found Xander and Dawn sharing a kiss. Xander told Buffythat he had truly fallen in love with Dawn. However, he admitted it was "not unweird, knowing her since she was little," but he also claimed she had grown as a person. After the Twilight crisis, Xander moved with Dawn into an apartment in San Francisco and they were officially together a couple. But they were not without their problems. While getting in argument, Dawn had forced Xander to sleep on the couch for a few nights, as he had forgotten her birthday.[95]As the year carried on, Xander continued to be there constantly for Dawn as her health started to deteriorate more and more. Eventually, this climaxed in her falling into a coma and suffering from a mystical illness, slowly killing her due to being created from The Key that was a form of magic. Grief-stricken and feeling once again useless, Xander angrily took his emotions out on a wall punching it over and over again. Buffy took action and stopped his self-destructive behavior, only to have him turn on her instead. Venting his anger and guilt by self-projecting it on Buffy, they pulled out all of the stops to save Dawn.[96] Still driven by blind anger and helplessness, Xander reflected in his inner monolouge that he had given up being involved in supernatural affairs to protect Dawn and now all he was doing was "watching" again. His sense of desperation and self-loathing builded to the point he had decided to work with Simone and Severin if it meant he could save Dawn's life, knowingly betraying Buffy by doing so.[49] When Dawn was registered mostly conscious thanks to Willow, Xander had did his utmost to comfort her. He informed her of her fading away essence, but promised her it would be fixed before anything could happen to her. When Dawn begged him to stay with her in San Francisco, Xander had rejected her pleas. He was resolved to save her on his own through the plans of Severin and Simone and did not see Buffy's plan involving the Deeper Well as successful.[97]

Friendships

 * Oz — Xander at first distrusted Oz when he started dating Willow as he talked about him while making out with Cordelia[98], due to his natural distrust of someone in a band as well as some jealousy on his part. Xander eventually got over his jealousy of Oz's relationship with Willow and the two became friends, though Oz did punch him once when Xander upset Willow by rejecting her advances while she was under a love spell. After Willow cheated on Oz with Xander, Oz never expressed any hostility to him (though Xander noted he could tell Oz was angry with him due to his eyes, describing it as a "verbal non-verbal")[99] as with Willow and the two quickly sustained mutual respect, both of them once discussing the types of kryptonite from the Superman comics[100] or the best way to become a cool guitarist.[101] When reuniting in college, the two desisted from hugging as they both agreed they both were "too manly"[102], instead shaking hands which they later did when Oz returned.[103]A year later, Xander made a crude joke about sexbots only to earn glares from everyone, causing Xander to say “Too many girls. I miss Oz. He'd get it. He wouldn't say anything but ... he'd get it. "[104]
 * Jesse McNally — Before Buffy's arrival in Sunnydale, Xander, Willow, and Jesse were best friends united in their status as social outcasts. When Jesse was sired, Xander accidentally staked him when someone pushed Jesse onto a stake he was holding. Jesse's death left a strong impression on Xander, and fueled his unconditional belief that vampires are no longer who they were when human and as demons deserve to die.
 * Willow Rosenberg — Xander briefly "dated" Willow in elementary school but they "broke up" after he stole her Barbie.[8] Afterwards, they remained friends for years and Willow retained a hopeless crush on him. A fact that Xander was apparently unaware of, as he often asked her for advice to win Buffy's affection. Willow forced herself to comply, as she already knew Xander didn't have a chance with her.[20]After a boring summer in 1997, Xander and Willow shared a moment of tenderness which was interrupted with Buffy's return.[57]Xander's affection for Buffy eclipsed any feelings he had for Willow and he didn't pursue anything with her, much to Willow's disappointment. When asked of what he felt about her by Buffy, Xander told her he loves Willow but only as a friend However, by the time he jumped into a relationship with Cordelia, it was clear that he did indeed hold unresolved feelings for his best friend, as he displayed jealousy towards Oz[98] during their senior year, Willow and Xander started an affair, cheating on their respective others. Willow was consumed with guilt over this, even attempting a "de-lusting" spell until stopped by Xander. He had confessed to her that he wasn't sure why he was doing this, but he felt like he really saw her for the first time ever. Nevertheless, their tryst was ended permanently after being caught by Oz and Cordelia[27], as both were too guilty to do such a thing again. Interestingly enough, Willow and Xander were seen in a relationship in the Wishverse, both vampires.[28] Afterwards, Xander and Willow's relationship reverted back to strong, solid friendship with nothing else attached. Xander's friendship with Willow briefly became strained, as she expressed her dislike of Anya and how he was never without her around. However, both simultaneously turned against Buffy and disagreed that she would not allow them to help her against Adam. Xander was also informed of Willow's relationship withTara, greatly shocked.[105]Invaded by the First Slayer, Xander had dreamed of Willow and Tara intimately with each other, as well as asking him to come to them. Despite his established platonic relationship with Willow, he had agreed only to of course end up losing them.[106]Willow's dislike of Anya would manifest to the point the two would drag Xander along with their arguments, much to his annoyance because he didn't want to chose sides. During a conversation with Spike, Xander admitted he felt torn because Willow was his best friend and he really valued her opinion despite his love for Anya. He also mentioned how she did not understand what he saw in Anya and it upset him. However, his bonds with them were put on even grounds when Xander refused to sacrifice one of them to Olaf even though it meant dying himself.[107]When she resolved to resurrect Buffy after her second death, Xander was not as fixed on it as Willow was. He openly admitted it felt wrong to him and worried about the consequences. [108] After seeing the full extent of the dark magics she used, Xander became concerned and expressed disapproval of her doing such a dangerous ritual.[109]  Willow has reminisced on how attractive she thought Xander was.[6][110] It was also later revealed that Willow had at one point wrote angst-filled poems over her unrequited crush on Xander but when questioned of this later in life, she politely stated "I'm over you, sweetie."[111]Ultimately, while the two are not in a relationship, they do have a great deal of platonic love for each other. This was pointed out repeatedly when Xander told Dark Willow that he loved "crayon-breaky Willow" just as much as "dark, veiny Willow" which ultimately stopped her from destroying the world, showing how strong and deep their bond is.[37] However, when Willow and the others discovered Xander's betrayal, she was definitely disappointed, saying that they could've gotten the magic, although she was not as furious as Buffy was.
 * Tara Maclay — Tara was Willow's Girlfriend. Xander was very accepting her as a member of the team. When he found out Willow was gay and Tara was her girlfriend, he was shocked but very understanding. He had sexual fantasies that they make out in front of each other. Xander still cared about her and accept right away and become a great member of the team and become her friend. Xander was hurt that Willow and Tara broke up, but was thrilled they got back together. When he found out Warren killed her, he wanted Buffy to take out Warren and felt useless he couldn't save her himself. But was proud Tara was avenged when Warren was dead. He also saved and pulled out Willow from the dark side.


 * Buffy Summers — Seeing her on her first day at Sunnydale High, causing him to crash into a railing, literally falling head over heels. Xander is the first person who saw Buffy and met her and become her friend. He was also the first person to find out Buffy was when he heard Giles and Buffy talking in the library.[8] He carried an obvious attraction and very strong crush on her. However, Buffy was oblivious (Xander describing himself as "invisible" when to come to her) and ignored it, even when Xander had given her a bracelet.[112]Xander finally worked up the courage to ask Buffy out, only to be rejected by her as she did not carry the same feelings.[19] Despite this, Xander feelings for her remained strong and he elicited poorly hidden jealousy on many occasions of the men that Buffy actually paid attention to, Angel in particular. He had noted in annoyance that guys like them could get what they want (Buffy) without any real effort, unlike him.[113] Xander eventually entered a relationship with Cordelia, but still held unresolved feelings towards Buffy as wel as Willow. Cordy noted this, especially expressing jealousy when Xander was determined to protect Buffy while in the hospital.[114] When under the love spell that made every woman in Sunnydale become infatuated with him, Buffy heavily flirted with Xander and even showed up in wearing nothing but a coat. Xander appeared to be tempted by Buffy's advances, even completely forgetting Cordelia for a moment. But in the end he repelled her attempts despite his own feelings as she wasn't herself and it wouldn't mean anything to her. Buffy was immensely grateful that he didn't take advantage of the situation once the spell was broken.[23] When Buffy started college, Xander consoled a confused and lost Buffy, genuinely telling her that she was his hero and whenever he was in peril or scared, he always wondered what she would do in that situation. He also easily admitted that when it was dark and he was alone, he sometimes wondered what she was wearing, causing her to seriously tell him to never elaborate on that.[102]While undercover in The Initiative, Xander had attempted to make out with Buffy so they wouldn't "draw attention". Buffy immediately pushed him off, greatly annoyed since that would only draw more attention to themselves. Xander was embarrassed, but remained unrepentent and defensive of his mistake.[115]When told by Spike that Buffy and Willow had suggested him joining the army, he had believed the lie. He ranted on how they thought they were better than him because of their "college life" while he struggled to find direction and make a living for himself. Xander had furiously turned against Buffy (along with Willow) when she had said it was too dangerous for them to fight with her. He had insulted Buffy as "superior" and having no respect for any of them, misinterpreting her concern as a demonstration of how little she needed them. Buffy was alarmed and hurt at how easily everyone was targetting her, saying she understood now why slayers didn't having friends.[116]After making peace with her and united together with a spell to defeat Adam,[117] Xander was given a fairly telling dream over his relationship with Buffy through The First Slayer. He viewed Buffy playing in a sandbox (symbolically linking it to children), and warned her not to play in it because it was a "really big sandbox", and that she could not always protect herself. This was showcasing Xander's extreme loyalty and protectiveness of Buffy, seeing her as someone that needed to be taken care of, and nurtured. Buffy then replied gratefully "I'm way ahead of you, Big brother", since that was how she saw him in her life. Xander was shocked and slightly disappointed at her declaration, but he soon realized completely that his protectiveness towards Buffy was no longer driven by romantic attachment. Rather, that of brother caring for his sister.[118] During a discussion with Riley about their respective relationships, Xander stated he envied Riley sometimes, clarifying "I mean for the sanity. Not that I'm still into Buffy. Not that I ever was."[12] Nevertheless, though losing his romantic attachment to her, he retained his protectiveness over her and was a common source of support. However, Xander had bluntly pointed out why Buffy's relationship had failed and how she had constantly been treating him like he was just convenient despite how much Riley was in love with her. Buffy was grateful towards his words in the end, and had immediately tried to stop him from leaving but was ultimately too late.[119] When Buffy was upset to gain Spike's attention and believed to be something wrong with her, Xander honestly said that she had a great heart and that the right person would see her for what she is someday, insisting that she should just "be Buffy." Buffy was touched by this gesture and hugged him out of gratitude. He would also dance with her at a party in an effort to cheer her up.[120]When informed of Spike's feelings for her, Xander was initially greatly amused by it but upon seeing how unsettled Buffy was over it, took it more seriously. His protectiveness of her increased and he showed stronger contempt and distrust towards him.[121][122] Assuming Buffy was involved with Spike due to a sighting of the Buffybot, Xander did his best to express understanding and believed her mother's deathhad been what drove her to sleeping with Spike. He would also reinforce his deep protectiveness of Buffy, threatening to kill Spike if he had to since he would do anything to protect her.[123]After leaving Sunnydalewhile on the run from Glory, Xander began to worry about the stress she was put under and whether or not she was thinking with a clear head. He, however, was reassured by Giles she would be fine.[124]  When Buffy sacrificed herself to save the world, Xander was in shock and dazed at seeing her dead body. [125] He went along with Willow's ressurrection despite his misgivings because of his desire to have Buffy back[126], but was angered and guilty that she had to dig out of her own grave.[127]  Xander and Buffy's friendship briefly became strained at the realization that Buffy had been sleeping with Spike, showing disgust and anger that she had lied to him and didn't tell him.[34] They came to a reconcile when Xander admitted he wouldn't have reacted with understanding if she told him earlier anyway and acknowledged how hard it was for her returning from Heaven.[35] Xander also defended Buffy from the Potentials, bluntly telling them in a speech that he saw her heart and that she cares about people more than any of them will know which touched Buffy and surprised Faith.[39] Buffy and Xander became closer after the destruction of Sunnydale as he was often there as a source of comfort in her loneliness that year. Despite being mostly identified as just friends, Buffy was shown in a dream to attempt a less-than-platonic kiss on him (which promptly caused his head to pop off his shoulders in her dream), and it was implied they once slept in the same bed.[110] When she lost her powers, Buffy and Xander shared a tender moment in a field.[47] She eventually realized that she did actually like Xander romantically but when confessing this to Xander, he declined her feelings, explaining that it might have made a difference a couple years ago and if she actually meant it. Buffy was annoyed with this statement but he again explained that her feelings are probably due to loneliness and her need for stability. He also stated it was hard to believe her after so many years and the fact that she jumps to her best friend right after experimenting with Satsu. When told by Xander that he now truly loved Dawn, Buffy, though upset and regretful, accepted his rejection, not wanting to take him away from her sister.[48] Despite this, Xander had explored her newfound super powers with her and had teasingly said "And you're really cute with a spunky personality that beats the bad guys."[128]After Xander's attempted killing of Angel after his murder of Giles, Xander relented when Buffy stopped him and tearfully begged him not to do this as she could not bear losing anyone else, especially Xander himself by betraying his very being.[49] Following the end of magic, Buffy and Xander's friendship becomes more distant, causing her to again feel isolated.[129]After briefly resuming their previous closeness, [130] this quickly fell apart afterwards when Dawn fell into a irreversible coma and was on the road to her death. Emotionally frustrated and worked up, Xander let out all of his pent-up resentment towards Buffy the entire year. He harshly blamed her for her sister being near-death and then coldly criticizing his friend for sleeping with Angel (the catalyst that lead to much of these consequences). Miserable and guilty, Buffy promised him they would help save Dawn despite Xander's unforgiving attitude towards her. [131]Not willing to forgive Buffy (mostly due to her constant claim that this was not her fault) or see reason, Xander left and went for a walk. Struggling with incompetence and the looming loss he was facing, he agreed to team up with Buffy's enemies Severin and Simone as through Illyria's stolen powers, he bribed him by saying he could find a way to reverse the effects of Twilight In a moment of weakness, he accepted despite his reluctance to betray Buffy, tired of "watching those he loves die".[49] Oddly, Xander had for the most part told Buffy the truth anyway about the proposition Severin had offered of the reversal Twilight and was shown to be exceptionally hurt and angry that she had naturally assumed he would betray her. He denied this and reminded her that she once killed herself to save Dawn's life and he could not forget this. Nevertheless, Xander was shown playing both sides. Giving information to Severin and Simone over Buffy's next move involving the Deeper Wellwhile giving her information on them.[132]However, Xander's resolve and certainty in his plan cracked when Buffy and Willow resolved to continue their way through the Deeper Well. He panicked and protested against it, certain they would die if the moved forward. When neither of them budged, a guilty Xander willingly told them over his betrayal and pact with Severin. Buffy was particularly hurt and betrayed by this and when it became clear that going back in time would create reality tears in the universe, she was furious and harshly said to Xander that she once again had to save the world, this time because of his mistakes.[133]Buffy continued to express her anger and betrayal towards him, even holding her scytheto her throat longer than neccessary when he appeared to her suddenly. Xander was angry, admitting that he did screw up by making a pact with Severin and Simone, but he wasn't the only one. He pointed out that all of them made wrong choices that led them to the Deeper Well so they all had some blame involved in it. Buffy's attitude softened somewhat, but still did not fully forgive him.[134]


 * Riley Finn — Unlike Buffy's previous long-term boyfriend, Xander showed no jealously to Riley despite his previous crush on Buffy. Still, Xander had once described Riley as a "teutonic boy toy"[60] and "okay in an oafish sort of way." [135] Like the rest of Scooby Gang (excluding Buffy) were suspicious of Riley's affiliation with The Initiative. In awe of the military compound and Buffy's easy access to it, Xander once remarked jokingly "Can I have sex with Riley, too?" while he and Buffy intercepted the Initiative, earning a pointed glare from Buffy.[136]When Riley was dealing with Buffy's relationship with Angel, Xander had shared with him why Angel left and that his trigger for turning evil was sleeping with Buffy. Upon the realization that Buffy had omitted this detail and that Riley assumed she had slept with him again during her visit in L.A., Xander tried to make him feel better. He told him that Buffy's time with Angel was "ancient history" and there was no way Buffy would sleep with him again. Riley was grateful for the reassurance, though still privately doubted it. Xander had also loaned him some of his clothes when he was running low.[137] Like Oz, the Xander and Riley bonded over the fact they were the only two males in Buffy's circle of friends (excluding Giles and Spike). Riley even helped him move boxes out of the basement. They discussed their respective relationships, causing Riley to admit to him that he was in love with Buffy. Despite this, he confessed to Xander that he knew Buffy didn't love him back. Xander seemed to agree with this statement, casting Riley sympathetic glances when the two kissed.[12]When Riley's insecurities cultimated into reckless behavior, Xander was the most sympathetic, vaguely mentioning that Riley felt Buffy did not return his feelings. However, Buffy and the entire group were oblivious to his insinuations.[138]Riley and Xander would also playfully engage in a mock fight whle helping Buffy move out of her college dorm, only to be stopped under the request of Buffy and Giles.[139] Xander would also express slight admiration of Riley, admitting that he wish he was as cool as him.[140] Xander became increasingly annoyed and worried by Riley's newfound reckless behavior,[141][142] but had nonetheless fully defended him when Buffy was reluctant to chase after him when he decided to join the military. Xander had insisted Riley would do anything for Buffy and that he was the type of person you only find "once in a lifetime" which was why she should try to stop him if she truly believed she could love him at some point. Thanks to him, Buffy had tried to stop him from leaving her but by then the helicopter had already took off.[143] After Riley left, Xander didn't miss him extremely but found it hard to believe he had actually left the Scooby Gang. He was also particularly bothered he had forgotten to give him a crescent wrench before he had left.[32] When Riley returned, Xander was happy to see him and the two hugged as Riley left once more.[144] A few years later during a conversation with Buffy, Xander described Riley as a "brainy guy" and when Buffy called him a "fanboy" Xander replied "Your only boyfriend that was never a psychotic demon? I was always Team Riley."[48]


 * Andrew Wells — Despite their previous clashes when Andrew was with the Trio, Andrew and Xander eventually developed a nerdy camaraderie due to their mutual love of science fiction and comic books. Andrew once ignored Willow and Kennedy making out to appreciate Xander's work on the windows, and thoughtfully described him as "extraordinary". He later watched an interview he had recorded with Xander and Anya, mimicking Anya's "lines" as though he was talking to Xander.[145] Xander, while initially dismissing Andrew as "annoying," became fond of him over time and start becoming friends when Andrew switched sides and start bonding over comic books and sci-fi movies, sending him an mbuna fish as a present when Xander was supposedly in Africa.[41] While training his Slayers in Italy, Andrew remained in frequent contact with the Scotland-based Xander.[110]
 * Dracula — Initially, Dracula took on Xander as an emmisary to spy on Buffy for him in the daylight. Buffy was able to defeat him and Dracula went on his way. After the destruction of Sunnydale, Dracula became lonely and kidnapped Xander who he kept in thrall. The two became strange friends, with Dracula calling Xander manservant and Xander teaching him how to ride a motorbike. Buffy liberated Xander from Dracula once again. They didn't meet again until some time later when Xander came to him for help against a group of Japanese vampires. Dracula expressed disgust at the slayers and Xander's new love interest, Renee, but agreed to help. When Renee was killed in the Tokyo battle, Dracula handed over the vampire responsible for Xander to have his revenge.
 * Robin Wood — Xander and Robin bond instance and accept him as an ally and an honorary member of the scooby gang. They both have a couple things in common, they both dated Faith or had a one night stand with her and they both hate Spike. Just like Riley, he was also very accepting him and Buffy dated briefly.

Familial

 * Jessica Harris and Anthony Harris — Xander has had a dysfunctional relationship with his parents since childhood, so much so Xander has rarely ever talked about them unless he was making fun of them in some way or another. His mother was a drunk and did not have any skill in cooking[146], which amused Xander. His father Anthony verbally and physically abused Xander when he was drunk by alcohol, setting psychological scars on him.[7] Xander has also been seen to sleep outside of his parent's house during his high school years on Christmas Eve, wanting to avoid his parents' loud drunken fights.[147] They had also forced him to live in their basement after graduating Sunnydale High, forcing him to pay rent even[102], showcasing his distant relationship with them. In a revealing dream of his because of The First Slayer, Xander feared he belonged in the basement and would never truly be someone in life. Principal Snyder described him as a " A whipping boy. Raised by mongrels and put on a sacrifical stone."[148]When Xander's drunken parents continued their dysfunctional cycle, he resolved to move out of the basement. Irritated, he sardonically said "I really need to find a new place. Something a little nicer. Buffy, you've been to Hell. They have one-bedrooms, right?"[12] When Willow expressed a desire to re-connect with her own mother after Buffy's had died, Xander was against any serious bonding with his parents and had even preferred connecting to Willow's rather than them.[149] When Anya arranged Buffy to sit next to his family on her chart for the wedding, Xander had discouraged it, saying to her "Yeah, except we don't hate Buffy."[150] Despite his estranged relationship with his family, he had invited them to his wedding to Anya Jenkins, which only ended in embarrassment for him because of his drunken family members.[6]


 * Rupert Giles — Xander first worked with librarian Rupert Giles and the other founding Scoobies at Sunnydale High, where he often comically commented on Giles' uptight, formal disposition. As an adolescent, he sometimes confided in Giles, and was always surprised to learn about Giles' true past and life. He was shocked to discover Giles' history as Ripper,[151] and when he learned that Giles owned a television, he jokingly claimed: "He's shallow like the rest of us!"[152] In response, Giles tended to scorn Xander's rather juvenile approach to life.[153] Xander and Giles become good friends and Xander is very loyal to him.[155]Giles continued to clash with Xander's quirks. When Xander was split into his weaker and stronger parts, Giles even bluntly commented they were a bad influence on each other.[12] Over the years, Xander came to view Giles in an-almost parental way. He is the only father he would bond and talk to in a minute or trust with his life. Xander's insecurities about his own parents caused him to rely on Giles more and more as he grew into a young adult, at which time it became clear that they were quite fond of each other. When Giles was going to move back to London or leave, Xander didn't want him to leave. They clashed less as Xander aged and matured. When Xander went to Scotland with Buffy and Willow, he took over as Buffy'sWatcher during her separation from Giles. When he returned at the time of the Twilight incident, Xander discouraged him from doing any "rash acts of nobility" before hand. Ironically, it was such an act that resulted in Giles' death at the hands of a Twilight-possessed Angel.[156]Driven into rage, Xander had immediately tried vengeance for Giles, coming extremely close to staking the vampire if not for Buffy. Xander would later reflect on his huge amount of uselessness when he had only been able to sit back and watch while Giles' neck was snapped.[49]


 * Joyce Summers — Joyce took a surrogate mother position to the entire Scooby Gang, including Xander. Though she had briefly flirted with him after Xander had Amy do a spell for Cordelia to love him (which backfired as everyone except Cordelia liked him).[23]He had also dreamed of Joyce hitting on him in a dream, but ironically as did Willow and Tara.[157] Outside of these two instances, Xander saw Joyce as a mother figure and following her death, he was both angry and upset that Joyce passed him. He had impulsively out of anger punched the wall (creating a hole) and blamed it on the doctors messing up on Joyce's condition.[158]

Antagonistic

 * Amy Madison - Amy and Xander knew each other from junior high through high school. However, contrary to Willow, it was never a genuine friendship. Xander becomes wary, when she becomes a witch. Although occasionally both became allied to create a Love Spell concerning a common nemesis, Cordelia. However, when Amy becomes a evil witch and Warren Mears's girlfriend, Xander establish certain disdain on her.
 * Larry Blaisdell — Larry was originally a jock who bullied Xander in high school. He had once tried to fight him after hearing Larry talk crudely about Buffy's possible performance in bed, only to feel emasculated as she instead pushed him to the wall roughly.[21] However, their relationship changed due to a humorous misunderstanding while Xander was trying to investigate culprits in a murder. Larry admitted he was gay and became more comfortable with himself afterwards; mistakenly believing Xander himself was a closet homosexual. This event greatly unnerved him, trying to correct his belief but Xander never got the chance. Afterwards, Xander resolved to never talk about it again.[98] They had a friendly relationship afterwards, Larry continuing to believe Xander was gay.[70]


 * Angel — Xander was jealous of Buffy's love for Angel while Angel was in turn jealous of him. When first seeing him, Xander gained an immediate contempt and was suspicious because Buffy never told him that Angel was "buff" as Xander thought he was "a very attractive man [Angel]" in a jealous spite.[15] When Buffy's was on the line, Xander hesitantly joined forces with Angel to save her and the two eventually worked together to fight vampires, despite this Xander did confirm that he saw Angel not as a person, but only as another vampire.[19] Xander had also at one point given Angel the childish nickname of "Dead Boy", greatly annoying him. Xander had also shown to be discouraged when he had tried to order him to action, insulting him as bossy.[159] Xander worked with him in Scooby missions whether he trust him or not. As time went on, his attitude towards Angel softened somewhat and he leaped to the vampire's defense when Kendra suggested killing him, saying "Angel's our friend! Except I don't like him,"[22] in addition to actually expressing concern about him when he goes missing and seeming relieved when he reappeared.[10]After Angel lost his soul and became Angelus, Xander supported killing him rather than restoring his soul. When Willow attempted to restore Angel's soul, Xander deliberately did not tell Buffy in hopes that she would kill him. He was ostensibly angry about the death of Jenny Calendar, though it is unclear how much he was motivated by her death and how much by jealousy. Xander was then greatly jealous and judgmental when realizing Buffy had been tending to Angel in secret after stumbling on her making out with him, harshly criticizing her for harboring a murderer. In his jealousy, he had briefly agreed to kill him with Faith but later grudgingly defended him when coming across Giles being knocked out. He had not jumped to conclusions completely like her and explained that Angel wouldn't have been responsible, insisting it was not his style.[26] His antagonism toward him seemed to briefly be pushed down as he was able to work with him without dislike[160] and was quickly friendly with him while on a "date" with a girl who only talked about cars but because the girl was annoying him.[13]However, after getting punched in the face by Angel (under the guise of Angelus), he had been bitter about it and immediately told everyone he was right all along about him, unaware that it was actually Angel and not Angelus who had hit him. This did not make him feel better when he found out, sarcastically saying it was a "good bruise" since he had still had his soul.[67] Xander did seem concerned for Angel when he was struck by Faith and delirious, actively helping for Buffy's sake.[70] However, his dislike for him once again resurfaced. Xander was shown to be angry with him after realizing he had feed off Buffy, even claiming "Well, it's good to know that when the chips are down and things look grim, you'll feed off the girl who loves you to save your own ass!", making Angel even more guilty. This event caused him to want Angel to really leave Sunnydale. When Xander was the "key" person against The Mayor, he was seen to be delighted that he could order him around, much to Angel's visible annoyance. Buffy was shown to be exasperated with this, comparing them to fighting old ladies.[29]  After leaving to Los Angeles, Angel and Xander very briefly run into each other when he was trying to protect Buffy secretly because of Doyle's vision. Xander was shocked and had immediately assumed he was evil, comically offending Angel. After Angel had finished his mission, Xander accidently exposed his presence in Sunnydale, causing Buffy to Los Angeles.[161] During a conversation with Riley Finn, Xander admitted that he still hated the "guts" part of him. However, he didn't deny it when Riley said he hated him because of his distrust and fear of his curse, not true dislike of who he was.[162] Years later, when Angel's position as Twilight was exposed and he had been possessed into killing Giles in front of him, Xander had completely lost any restraint or tolerance of him. Despite his explanations of being possessed, he had ignored them and coldly retorted he always had excuses. Xander violently fought with Angel (who was barely defending himself), nearly succeding in staking him with the slayer scythe. Despite his immense hatred and disgust towards him, he allowed him to live when Buffy stopped him under the grounds that he would lose himself as a person if he went through with it.[49]
 * Spike— Xander had always greatly disliked and distrusted Spike. When Giles had ordered Spike to be his roommate for some time, Xander was angry and indignant. He had tied Spike up to a chair everytime he went to sleep, just in case he would try and bite him while he slept. Spike bluntly denied this, seeing him as too distasteful to bite, much to Xander's protest. When he had lost his voice, Xander had immediately saw Spike as responsible and later violently beat him up when he thought he had fed onAnya.[163] Spike continued to be of no help to Xander in cleaning up the basement and ordered him around constantly. Xander lost patience and launched a tirade against him, calling him useless and a complete waste of space that wasn't even worth the time to beat up, taunting him by saying he wasn't the Big Bad anymore. Spike attempted to commit suicide and stake himself, failing in the process. Xander made note of this and reprimanded him by saying he should've let him stake him since they've been through a lot in the basement, much to Willow's disapproval. [164] Xander was immensely relieved and happy when Spike left to find his own crypt. [165]When a angry and left out Anya went to Spike to hang out with and talk to, Xander was immediately jealous and taunted Spike. Amused, Spike returned with his own snark. Xander, however, got the upper hand when he raised his voice in The Initiative's party by calling him "Hostile 17." Spike naturally became jumpy and uncomfortable. When no attention was drawn to him, he left him to drink beer.[166]Xander would later reluctantly loan him an outfit when he supposedly went to inflitrate The Initiative, but mocked Spike by saying he really didn't care if anything happened to him. He did, however, believe Spike when he said Buffy and Willow had thought he was joining the army, successfully creating a wedge between Buffy's connection with her friends.[167]Upon the realization that Spike had been working with Adam, Xander had been outraged, but then muttered he couldn't even act surprised that he had betrayed them.[168]After moving out of his basement, Xander recalled when Spike had briefly lived with him, listing the event as one of the reasons why he hated the place.[12]After an argument with Anya and Willow, Xander had ran into Spike at The Bronze. He was immediately abrupt and harsh towards the vampire, telling him to leave him alone. When Spike had insisted on staying to annoy him, Xander had a brief moment of connection with him. They played pool together and Xander explained to Spike his problems with Anya and Willow. However, Spike was only interested in knowing whether or not Buffy blamed him for her break-up with Riley.[169]When first told of Spike's obsession with Buffy, Xander laughed over it and even claimed he hoped it was true because then it would be even funnier. He mocked his feelings and didn't see Spike as having genuine love for Buffy despite what he believed.[170] Being one of the most hostile towards Spike already, Xander quickly joined the Scoobies in ostracizing him over his feelings for her.[171] When Spike had left flowers for Joyce, Xander had assumed he was trying to get points with Buffy and refused to allow him to bring them in. He was extremely hostile towards him and expressed his strong contempt of Spike's feelings through his protectiveness for Buffy. Upon realizing that he left the flowers anonymous, Xander was shocked.[172]He would also threaten Spike when he wrongly believed he was involved with Buffy and reminded him that he would do anything to protect her, along with the rest of her friends even if that meant killing him. However, Xander felt some sympathy for Spike after getting so brutally beat up by Glory and getting his "favorite toy" taken away from him.[173] Despite this, Xander was against the decision of letting Spike protect Dawn from Glory under Buffy's orders and openly threatened to throw him out of the Winnebago in daylight. However, he was able to have a benign conversation with him over their situation,  though he nonetheless said he didn't like him.[174] Xander was also angry when Spike had slapped Buffy in an attempt to get her out of her catatonia and had even punched him, only to be separated by Willow.[175]However, Xander's antagonism softened slightly, shown with how he allowed Spike to be Dawn's babysitter on a regular basis during Buffy's death.[176]  He was especially suspicious of Spike after his attempted rape of Buffy, even after Spike regained his soul. He also resented Spike for having sex with Anya even though he was broken up with her at the time, even almost killing a defenceless Spike in a jealous rage before being stopped by Anya.[34] However, the two later worked together effectively because of a shared concern for Dawn's well-being[177]. The enmity between the two appeared to have faded after a while, when Spike saved Xander and the rest of the Scoobies' lives in the Hellmouth[88] and later in Tibet.[178] It's safe to assume that Xander did still dislike Spike, as he did not invite him in his apartment under normal circumstances which forced Buffy to talk to him outside.[76]When Spike called him during his time in the Deeper Well, Xander was mostly unfriendly towards him. However, he nonetheless seemed to appreciate he had told him of Simone's plan and Dawnrapidly disappearing. In turn, Spike had Xander listed under the name "Wanker" in his cell phone.[179]
 * Wesley Wyndam-Pryce — Xander's dislike of Wesley, unlike the other Scoobies, mostly stemmed from jealousy than incompetence. Cordelia had been very open with her attraction to him and heavily flirted with him often, much to Xander's constant annoyance. He had jealously mocked her compliments of Wesley while alone, stating “I love how you talk, Wesley! I love how you sing, Wesley! Can you say the words jail bait, Wesley?! Grimy bastard. “However, when assuming Angelus had been set free again, he had showed anger and blamed him, believing that he had put Buffy in danger.[67] He had also unsuccessfully tried to convince himself that Cordelia wasn't that attractive, only to immediately contradict himself when he saw Wesley eye her, falling into another fit of jealousy and dislike for him.[68] Soon after, he had shown anger that Wesley had wanted to not trade the box and leave Willow kidnapped, angrily stating “Want a volunteer to hit Wesley?"[69] Xander would also once jokingly claim that Wesley was the result of inbreeding when Cordelia wanted an explanation of why he was leaving Sunnydale.[29] After Graduation, Xander never saw Wesley again and remained ignorant of his drastic changes in Angel Investigations.
 * Harmony Kendall — Xander shared a natural antagonism towards Harmony, not so different towardsCordelia before she joined the Scooby Gang. Harmony in turn considered him a loser and scolded Cordelia for dating him.[23] After graduation, the two bumped into each other, with Xander aware of Harmony's nature and her affiliation with Spike, the two fought. Due to Xander's amateurish fighting skills and Harmony's uncommon inability to utilize her vampiric strengths, they mutually resolved to let go of each other. Xander was deeply ashamed of the fight, feeling like he had lost some of his dignity with how pathetic it was.[60]They later encountered each other again during Harmony's attempt at assassinating theSlayer, only for her to find Xander at Buffy's home looking after her kid sister. Xander laughed at the concept of Harmony possessing minions while Harmony reminded him of his status in high school and even heard of his enslavement to Dracula. This lead to Dawn, having harbored a crush on Xander at the time, to unintentionally invite Harmony in, allowing her to beat Xander several times (having started embracing her vampire side) before Xander kicked her out.[180]
 * Warren Mears — Xander held a deep hatred for Warren ever since he shot Buffy and killed Tara.[35]When Willow hunted down Warren with the intention of killing him, Xander (along with Dawn) and Anya) approved of Warren's death when Buffy didn't, with Xander even calling Warren "as bad as any vamp {that Buffy} sent to Dustville."[36] Xander and Warren remained enemies long after Sunnydale, when Warren joined Twilight's cabal to get revenge on the Scoobies.

Behind the Scenes

 * He was portrayed by Nicholas Brendon, and the actor's identical twin brother Kelly Donovan occasionally appeared as his double.
 * They were considering killing off Xander Harris in this episode. He would be the first. That wouldn't work.
 * Xander Harris is based on Joss Whedon in real life.


 * Xander was the only member of the Scooby Gang to stay with the group from beginning to end, includingBuffy's self-imposed exile, Giles' return to England and Willow's turn to darkness.

"Xander, I've always identified as the figure I most was like, 'cause he did have that inability to sort of... talk to the girl and come through in the big moment. And he does make an idiot of himself a lot. Of course, he's a lot prettier and more muscular than anybody who acts like that should be but this is television, so, get over it." [181] ''Weaving along the road. On it is XANDER, dressed with the shaggy indifference common to skateboarders. He is bright, funny, and will one day be suave and handsome. Till that day arrives, he’ll do the best he can with bright and funny.''
 * Joss Whedon has likened Xander's character to himself and had this to say:
 * Joss Whedon briefly described Xander in the shooting script for Welcome to the Hellmouth:
 * Xander's name was chosen due to its similarity to the fish species zander, as zanders look very similar to pikes, Pike being Buffy's sidekick in the non-canon film.
 * One of the early options considered for what Caleb could do to Xander was to kill him, so that Xander could return as the First. Considering the build up towards the finale and the potential of negative fan reaction this was eventually changed to the way it is now in Dirty Girls.
 * Xander was almost killed off in Dirty Girls.
 * Xander's astrological zodiac sign is Capricorn.[182]
 * Xander is Christian. [183]
 * Xander had fixation on the Chinese actress Amy Yip, reputated for erotic productions.[184]


 * Along with Buffy, Willow, Giles and Angel, he is one of only five characters to appear in both the pilot ("Welcome to the Hellmouth") and series finale of Buffy ("Chosen").


 * The character of Jenny Calendar was originally supposed to be called "Nikki Calendar." This was changed to avoid on-set confusion with the actor Nicholas Brendon(Xander) who was commonly called "Nicky."


 * Xander was a regular in every episode of every season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, with the exception of "Conversations with Dead People" in the final season where he was absent because he could not be fit into the story. He appeared in a total of 143 episodes of the Buffyverse, all of which also featured Buffy and Willow. The only characters to appear in more episodes are Angel (167), Willow (147) and Buffy (146).
 * Ryan Reynolds was offered the role of Xander but passed on because he "didn't want to play a guy in high school. I had just come out of high school and it was f******* awful. " [185]


 * Jason Stackhouse, portrayed by Ryan Kwanten in "True Blood" is very similar to Xander. The two mens are initially considered as bullet, hate vampires, workng like carpenters and attract irresistibly monstrous women and/or of bad vibrations. Jason hate Bill Compton like Xander with Angel, defending Sookie to had a love relation with the vampires. He was also in grudge with Eric, similar to Xander with Spike. However, he was also a obssessional womanizer. His partners were successly two humans girls who are murdered for sexual relations with vampires, since a addicted to vampire blood, since a religious extremist against vampires, since a were-panther, since Jessica, a young vampire, girlfriend of Hoyt, Jason best friend's, since a anti-social and depraved vampire who considered him like her sexual slave. The only difference, Jason is the biological brother of Sookie, Xander is just considered like a big brother by Buffy.
 * Xander Harris is similar to Clark Kent and Peter Parker. He may not have their intelligence, but he has their detective skills, hand to hand combat and their goodness. He ales sees the good in people whether he trust them or not.
 * He is similar to Shawn Spencer from Psych and Marshall Eriksen from How I Met Your Mother.
 * He is also similar to Chuck Bartowski and Morgan Grimes on Chuck, except he does have their intelligence but his detective skills. He is also similar to Leonard and Howard on the big bang theory, he may not have their intelligence. They both have his personalities and same problems.