Phil Swift

Phil Swift is the titular protagonist of the Flex Seal commericals. He is the co-creator of Flex Seal Products and the creator of the product Flex Tape. He is known as one of the strongest Gods in the Milky Way universe. It is possible that Phil is the reincarnation of Billy Mays, but there is no proof of such relations yet. His other known aliases are Phil Christ - the name often sparks memories of Phil's first crucifixion, which an early prototype of Flex Glue was mainly used to keep the nails hammered into his hands and feet. Since his rebirth, Phil has become one of the strongest beings in his home galaxy. Though due to recent conflicts with his people, he has escaped and hidden himself in a disguise currently known as Phil Swift, a seemingly ordinary businessman pushing his first miracle product, Flex Seal, to the public in hopes that everyday items can be fixed up with an application of tape, glue, paint, or spray. Nobody, besides Phil, knows the true formula which the Flex Seal Products are made of.

Background
Phil Swift has an unknown origin, but according to his official wiki he was born on December 30, 2003 at 04.20 AM. He came from the Andromeda Galaxy and fell on top of Japan, where the nuclear bomb, Growtopia, landed on Hiroshima. He was later drafted into Vietnam, where he burned down a village by accident and said: “Now that’s a lotta damage!” (Hence his catchphrase.) He then created a super strong seal out of his godly blood, five diamonds and a transmog crystal and then called it “Flex Seal”. He created many variations of it, his most famous of it being Flex Tape. Years later he created a company with his brother and used it to sell his super weapons to the whole wide world. He then successfully became the #1 fixing tool dealer in the world. Countless media sources have confirmed that Phil is indeed a god. He also once defeated a man named Kaiser Wilhelm in gladiatorial combat. This changed history forever.

Weapons/Arsenal

 * Flex Seal - His most notable creation, strong enough to repair anything. It can temporarily blind anything, and stop people from running away. It can also create a wall to surround himself. It is rumoured that it can also survive a planet explosion.
 * Flex Seal Colors - Colored versions of Flex Seal that do the same as the original, but can have effects with each different one.
 * Flex Seal Liquid - Liquid version, can be used to blind people and create a better grip for his tools, has also been used to seal wounds on himself.


 * Flex Tape - The most famous variation of Flex Seal, a tape strong enough to repair a boat sawed in half, and was used by Phil to hold together rips in space and time. He also uses it to hush his captives if needed It is by far one of his most powerful weapons.
 * Flex Tape Clear - A clear version. It has the same properties as the original and was used to repair another boat with a hole in it.


 * Flex Shot - A caulk gun made by Phil, was invented when he was held captive by Lord Farquaad, he invented it to make sure his anus was shut so he could not get raped by him. He now uses it to repair things.
 * Flex Glue - Created so he could glue people to walls in case they tried to steal Flex Seal's formula. It is similar to Flex Shot, but it is glue instead and gets stronger the more is stuck on.
 * Block-Out - A tool that Phil is always covered in 24/7 to make sure he is always clean. It can block out anything so he can always be safe. However, it cannot work to defend Flex Products.
 * Foamazing - A pressurized foam wash used to torture people who try to steal the Flex formula. He mainly uses it to push people back as it has a very wide range (half-way across the Earth).
 * Blast Off - Snow melter, was used to melt Frosty The Snowman
 * Winter Wax - Another version of Blast Off.
 * Dagger - He uses it to cause a lot of damage to things, especially buckets. It is one of his non Flex Seal weapons.
 * Chainsaw - he does not currently have it, but it too can cause a lot of damage, it is why buckets fear him.
 * Flex Cannon - an unreleased version of Flex Seal that can reach halfway across the universe, and is strong enough to blow up a star. It can also permanently weld together objects with a strong magnetic attraction. It is stronger than Flex Seal and Flex Tape and is Phil Swift's superweapon in case something goes wrong.
 * Flex Nut - Phil Swift proceeds to furiously masturbate and goes on to ejaculate, causing his opponents to be stuck in his flex nut. Phil's nut is known to be highly radioactive causing it to sometimes burn his enemies. This weapon does not work during November.
 * THAT'S A LOT OF DAMAGE - Phil yells out "Now that's a lot of damage!" and knocks out all of his enemies
 * Head of bucket king - raising this trophy high Phil can single bucketly destroy an entire army. They say he filled it with flex seal liquid. He sometimes uses it as a cup.

JonTron
Phil Swift makes a special crossover appearance with host JonTron in the episodes "Waterproofing My Life With FLEX TAPE" and "Flex Tape II: The Flexening".

Trivia

 * It is possible that Phil Swift is the reincarnation of Billy Mays, having many similarities, and sharing a similar quote to his "But wait, there's more!" when doubling his offers.
 * Phil has been arrested multiple times for killing people with his Flex Seal products. More notably, the 2016 incident which he murdered an infant by placing Flex Tape over its mouth and nose.
 * A Phil Swift article was on the YouTube Poop Wiki, but they only accept things from 2012 or below so they deleted it.
 * It is possible that Flex Tape was a finalized version of Mighty Tape, which was also Billy Mays' last commercial.
 * It is believed that Phil won the Medal of Honor after fixing a wounded man with Flex Tape during the Vietnam War.
 * Phil's brother, Alan Swift, was never seen anywhere in the Flex Seal commercials or any promotional material.