User blog:Carlos Mateus Araujo de Carvalho/WELCOME MY WONDERFUL FOOLS!

Hi! My name is Mateus, Carlos Mateus Araujo de Carvalho!

I was born on October 6, 1994, in the city of Fortaleza in the state of Ceara in Brazil.

I am an extremely simple person, insensitive, lucid, detached, abnormal, inopportunistic, understanding, unnatural. I'm an introvert, I could not relate, I was very quiet. But I still have extreme reason and high irony. Every time I explain with understanding and the other person responds opportunely for more or less understanding or intolerance, I use my extreme reasoning and I respond for high ironies, with or without rejoicing (if necessary)

I do not like to interact in things without thinking 3 or 5 times, and also do not use the word "believe" for everything in life, but only the word "understand" because the word "believe" has strong connection with complexity, intolerance, understanding, obsession, ambition, etc.

The bad side of fame is when fame not only broadens people's obsession and ambition, but it can also strengthen their opportunism, intolerance, and low self-esteem.

My dream is to live abroad and never again to live in Brazil, because the country is suffering millions of economic and governmental crises in which this has always happened during all those years, and also because Brazilians have extreme complexities, attitudes and complex actions, ambitions and obsessions of high levels, in which they strongly impair their character.

The word "right" has a good strong side, but its bad side is extremely strong, even in difficult, complicated and even extreme moments, despite doing the right things for terrible motivations and monsters, great obsessions and ambitions, and strong connection and great strengthening of low self-esteem, that is, questing and despising everything that is against and what it does not tolerate, and seeking acceptance for everything it approves and wants, far surpassing intolerance. The most important thing is to show high lucidity and detachment without ambition and obsession for the certainty, and also not a drop of pessity and obsession for it.

Even if you have trouble doing something for something or everything in life, do nothing at all on this account, and you also have no habit and no intention of doing so. Because this can come at a time when you can ruin things in life. Have understanding, be rationalist, be extremely much more aware and have a sense of everything, understand much more in everything in life than believe, not everything you do, but only cherishes everything in life, etc.

The evil of loving too much
Experience shows that people who are much loved tend to be the most ungrateful. Children who have been loved are the ones who give the most work when they grow up. Boyfriends who were very much loved tend to be pretty suckers at the end of the relationship. Who does not know such cases?

Too much love in general is synonymous with doing everything for the other. They stop giving for themselves for the love of the other. They deprive themselves, they leave aside, they give themselves, they give themselves totally and unreservedly, they stop saying things in order not to hurt, they pass a hand over their heads to ease the suffering that life brings, they diminish truths in an attempt to soften pain, and lizards and all this is understood as a sign of love, or worse of loving too much. And lastly, this person you loved so much, gave yourself and did everything will leave you and still tell you absurd things.

Well, let's rethink this. Loving is nothing like that. To love is to take care of the other, to be together, to support, to accompany and to value the other, but in no time is to abandon oneself. To love someone is not to obscure truths or to go over their principles, for this is lack of self-love. And a great inversion of values. In the name of love for the other it devalues ​​and disregards. And wait, magically, for the other to value and consider you. Is this possible?

Those who value themselves are valued.

Whoever imposes himself is respected.

And the opposite is true in the same intensity.

Parents tend to be the biggest "victims" in this sense, because they have lived longer and know that life is made of pain and some are quite intense. One great desire parents have is to prevent their children from going through such emotions. However, in trying to deprive them of this, they are prevented from maturing. For one learns only to face life with truth, that is, to face reality. Every moment that parents try to ease the suffering are preventing the child from developing coping skills. It is not slowing down the pain but being on the side to face together, it is not to face it, it is to help you think of alternatives or when there is not is to cry and live the pain in company, incidentally, what great learning to know that in the hours We have difficult to count on. Parents very easily forget that they have overcome their own sufferings, is this not an indication that children are capable as well?

We are afraid of suffering and so we try to placate it so that we do not reach who we love, but this does not help us at all. On the contrary, it only harms. It ends up creating a fantasy and unreal world. Then when the children grow up and can no longer protect them, the pain reaches them and, at this moment, the children perceive how incapable they are to defend themselves. And what do they do? They turn against their parents, accusing them as if they were guilty of their mischief, for all the hatred in the world is turned against those who love them the most. Unfair is not it? Yes, a lot!!! But one hour they will need to mature, there is no way to prevent, only postpone.

In loving relationships, too much love appears in the form of doing everything for the other, accepting everything, forgiving everything, being always available and, here too, there is the expectation that the other will value it. Those who are very much at ease are no longer people to be seen as objects. It can be a beautiful object and a very necessary one, but it will not be understood as someone with its own values ​​and needs. After all, objects do not speak. Who wants to be valued, needs to be valued. Who wants to be loved, needs to love first. And this is not achieved with fights or requests but with new conduits.

Maybe that's why Jesus left only two commandments as being the most important: Love God above all things and your neighbor as yourself.

You can not love the other without loving yourself first. And here is a very important reflection: how do you love yourself? Do you value yourself, perceive good things in yourself, have clarity of your principles, value your desires, deal well with your mistakes and defects? How do you take care of yourself by taking responsibility for your needs or expecting others to do this for you? How do you see yourself in relation to others, equal or less? How do you demonstrate your desires, understanding them as worthy of being valued or unimportant? Anyway, how do you see yourself?

It is how you love yourself that will determine how you will stand before others. Too much love for someone can really be a big sign of little love, because the more a person demonstrates strong, evil, difficult, complicated and extreme feelings, relationships and esteem, another person to lead and kill all the people the other one else loves, she can become irritated and kill the person with extreme hatred, and then one can enter into an immense loneliness with suffering and sadness until one reaches the point of becoming an individualistic, envious and selfish person, because love is only replaced by hatred if one has a weak head and is psychologically weak character.

Sincerity too can mess?
I do not like lies, but I do not hate it either, and I do not even show any bit of rancor and hatred for it. I really like and really love to speak the truth, but I do not like being very sincere, because I have extremely weak sincerity, and I always will. That's because sincerity, while having its good side, also has one of the strongest bad sides there is. For the more you obsess and persist too much in the truth, but you can easily limit your consciousness, make you easily exasperate and infuriate, but over time you regain consciousness and reliving again. In the previous paragraphs, I have already explained that the word "right" has a bad side because of the right things to possess monstrous and terrible motivations, and with strong links with low self-esteem, which may prove that everything was only the fault of the sincerity.

When we are young, we learn that sincerity is a virtue and that we must always speak the truth. To be honest is to be truthful and honest. However, there are situations where sincerity gets in the way and have serious consequences. This is because, sometimes, in a relationship with a friend, co-worker or family member, sincerity can put everything to waste, depending on the interpretation the other gives to the listener. The role of the psychologist in this context is to guide the patient to manage how to act and to identify, in the best possible way, the dose of sincerity appropriate to each case.

To make the best choice as to whether you are sincere or not, it is best to watch who you are dealing with. Consider whether in a given situation the so-called "good lie" can work with that person. There are cases, too, where simply omission can have a far less harmful effect than absolute sincerity.

And, there are still those times when, even being difficult, you will have to be sincere, speaking the truth, even if the person at the time revolts. But then she will feel better and understand that it was for the good that you acted like this. Honest and honest criticism helps to improve not only the other, but the community where one lives.

Try to be honest with yourself
When we are talking about being honest with ourselves, there is no room for untruth. Because he who lies to himself tends to experience a tormenting internal conflict. The human being must be true to himself, recognizing his own faults and administering internally his failures and failures. This is how these weaknesses are overcome.

In the psychologist's work, focused on couples therapy, it is very common to have conversations about situations where sincerity should be applied as if it were a remedy, that is, in the right doses, since in excess, it can even kill, it is not even ? Sometimes the partner is already depressed and sad about an episode that just happened at work, for example. He comes home and tells how he acted and you realize when he missed it. What to say? Point your finger at the wound?

It is there that one must rely on the small falsehoods, which are fundamental mechanisms so as not to further disrupt the state of discouragement of the other. Amenize your comment, with phrases such as "I understand how you feel" or "you need to relax because tomorrow things will be clearer." They work much more like calming than comments like, "You were wrong, you should not have said that," or "With that behavior, you deserved what happened next."

Silence is golden
Words hurt, hurt, and if you realize that you are not supposed to give your opinion at any given time, silence is the best solution. The old saying goes: the word is silver, silence is golden. During a discussion, when the moods are exalted and there is almost no time to talk about what is being thought, it is better that an inordinate comment is silent.

This avoids making the caller hurt and rarely causes repentance. When we are anxious, under pressure and insecure, we have difficulty expressing ourselves correctly and having a well articulated speech. The most recommended is to organize the ideas and leave to talk later, when the conversation is calmer.