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| “ | I had life figured out, but now it's all gone. | „ |
| ~ Alex Churchland |
Alex Churchland is the main protagonist of the LISA: The Painful fangame LISA: The Pointless. He was an aspiring marshall artist, turned garbage man then turned to literal garbage by cruel fate.
Biography[]
LISA: The Pointless[]
Alex was born some time in 1960's. He was mainly raised by his aunts, many of which were elderly, with them having funerals every other year. One day his Aunt Beth brought him a VHS tape of the "supreme grandmaster course" to the Velvet-Fu style of marshall arts. Alex would then spend his time training by watching the tapes, dreaming of being a marshall artist. He would also use martial arts to impress his crush Chie Teal.
In 1979, Alex competed in an international marshall arts tournament and matched up against Stan Curien. His aikido style was a perfect counter to Alex's Velvet-Fu and Alex wasn't even able to hit him once. After a humiliating defeat, Alex gave up on his dreams and became a garbage man.
Years later, after an apocalyptic event known as "The White Flash" killed all women on earth, Alex finds himself in trouble with a gang called "The Rando Army". He is shot in the back and his body is dumped to a mass grave in "Garbage Island". He is discovered by Joel Miller, who was looking for a bullet for his gun. They both want to leave Garbage Island. Joel's acquaintance Georgy Hernandez also has the same idea. So the three of them set off on a journey to leave garbage island. They are blocked by Roland von Buckingham, who doesn't understand why someone would want to leave this garbage paradise. After a difficult battle they arrive at Georgy's boat and sail away to the mainland.
The trio arrive on a desert. Alex sees his childhood friend Clarence Kripke, but he seems to resent him over a fishing trip they had in the past. Clarence walks away to leave for Garbage Island. Georgy then parts ways with Alex and Joel. The two decide to rest at an inn. They wake up to find out that one of the customers had mutated.
They head off to a long march in the hot scorching desert. Alex almost passes out but manages to keep going. They eventually manage to find a tunnel and arrive at Downtown Olathe. They see strange people that wear red & green sports jerseys. They have completely lost their minds and are only focused on killing. At the end of the road they see Arnold Shpitz. After a brutal encounter with him, Alex and Joel jump off a cliff in order to escape a group of jerseyheads. Joel ends up with broken bones from the fall and Alex goes on a search to find him a trauma kit. He eventually finds an old man that has it, but he isn't willing give it to him. Alex is forced to either kill this man and his dog or leave Joel to his injuries.
Alex then (either with or without Joel) joins a group of campers preparing to go to "The City". At night a mysterious man named Hugo Leopardi kills the entire group except for their leader Jason Pike. He takes Alex hostage and uses his life as a bargaining tool. When Jason doesn't accept Hugo's proposition he stabs Alex as well. If Joel's injuries were treated, he wakes up and threatens Hugo with his pistol. Alternatively, if Joel's injuries were not treated, he comes in as Alex is being stabbed and points his gun at Hugo. If Joel has a good relationship with Alex then he attempts to shoot the pistol but it doesn't load, if not he lowers his weapon. Hugo walks away. Joel and Pike treat Alex's injuries, and head off to the bus that is supposed to take them to the city.
Appearance[]
Alex is an old white man in his 60's with green eyes and a greasy gray hair and beard. He wears burlap rags and black pants
Personality[]
Despite everything life throws at him, Alex remains an optimist. He believes that a better life exists for him out there somewhere and is willing to find it.
Trivia[]
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 Heroes
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LISA: The Painful LISA: The Pointless LISA: The Hopeful | ||