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NOTE: This is only the 2005 - 2007 rendition of Alfred. For the full Alfred narrative, click here. For his cameo in Where The Dead Go To Die, click here.

Alfred: Gather around, children, and you shall hear a tale. The tale of the story of Christmas.

Phat Dawg: Eh, no thanks.
Alfred: Yeah, it’s the STORY OF CHRISTMAS.
Phat Dawg: Yeah, why are you telling me the story of Christmas?
Alfred: Gather around, children, and you shall hear a tale. The tale of the story of Christmas.
Phat Dawg: What children?!
Alfred: You might think that Christmas is about getting drunk off your ass at holiday parties, dressing in erotic Santa Claus suits, and shooting at carolers on your lawn. But what it's REALLY about, is Jesus being born, and that is the story I will tell you today!
Phat Dawg: Eh, it’s better than eating my throw up.

~ Alfred at the beginning of Alfred's StoryofChristmas.
I'm going to go and rent The Sound Of Music for me and my best friend, Phat Dawg!
~ Alfred's only line in Perpetual Limbo Of The Room.
Hey... c'mere... I'll give ya five dollars if ya tase me.
~ Alfred to a police officer.

Alfred Alfer, also known as Shizzle or simply Alfred, is the main protagonist of the 2005 - 2007 era of animations by disgraced Newgrounds-animator-turned-neo-nazi Emily Youcis. He is a beige talking cartoon dog who likes to smoke weed, sing, dance and hang out with his best friend, Phat Dawg.

He was voiced by Emily Youcis, who also provided the shrieks of Jesus in Jesus Christ Porn Star.

Appearance[]

Alfred was a dopey, floppy, skinny cartoon dog of moderate height with a thousand yard stare, tan fur, a slightly lighter tan-coloured round belly, a long snout with sharp teeth and a dark purple nose, and small paws. In his original incarnation as "Shizzle", he appeared slightly more dog-like and simple, with darker brown fur and a grey fur on his belly and feet, and a dark brown nose.

Personality[]

Alfred is an unintelligent and naughty talking dog who spends most of his time smoking weed and annoying other people, and his friend Phat Dawg. Despite his naughty nature, Alfred appears to genuinely like his friend.

Biography[]

Osama Gets Low[]

Osama Gets Low is Emily's very first Newgrounds upload, a music video featuring Phat Dawg, Alfred (named "Shizzle" at the time) and an unnamed third dog, along with several pop-culture celebrities and other relevant people at the time, all singing "Get Low". There doesn't seem to be a visible plot outside of the three dogs doing drugs and getting up to mischief, but the description describes it as Phat Dawg and Co. taking the viewers "down the toilet on a journey through pop culture land".

Alfred Alfer and Phat Dawg[]

The animation begins with Alfred and Phat Dawg exploring the one dollar store, bewildered by the low prices of all the items. They eventually run across a laser pointer and excitedly go to pay for it, commencing a brief sequence of Alfred getting angry at the foreign cashier for his accent preventing Alfred from understanding what he's saying.

Alfred and Phat Dawg perch themselves on top of a building with their new laser pointer. Phat Dawg uses a pair of binoculars to search for someone to torment while Alfred shines the laser in his eyes and on his genitals. Phat Dawg decides upon a large man minding his own business in his apartment and snatches the pointer from Alfred, aiming it at the man. The man immediately assumes he's about to be shot and begins eating as much food as he can before he dies, which results in him choking and dying, much to the amusement of the dogs. They then aim the pointer into the apartment of a cat lady watching the ugly sweater shopping channel with her cats. The laser riles up the cats, which results in them tearing the lady to shreds. The lady reaches for the phone, presumably to call for help, but instead orders the ugly sweater she saw on TV.

Afterwards, Alfred and Phat Dawg go home and play with the pointer in a brief sequence, sitting on beanbags and laughing like stoners, treating the pointer like a blunt.

The dogs then go to a convenience store where a man is being arrested for unknown reasons. They aim the pointer at the convict and poke fun at him, Phat Dawg calling him gay and Alfred repeatedly calling him a loser. A policeman sees them and tells them that he's going to confiscate their pointer, which Alfred ignores and offers the officer five dollars for him to tase Alfred. The policeman ignores this and confiscates the pointer like he promised. The short then seems to end.

Alfred Gets Fixed[]

This is the first animated short where Alfred is referred to as Alfred, and has "Chariots Of Fire" playing over it. It begins with Alfred strapped to an operating table in a hospital, about to be castrated, when he decides to defy his fate, breaking free of his bonds and stabbing the doctor with a needle. He leaps off the table and runs through the hospital with Phat Dawg and many of the hospital patients cheering him on. He eventually comes upon a window to a field with vast, sprawling hills covered in flowers and green grass underneath a beautiful sunset. He leaps from the window and it's revealed that the landscape in front of him is simply a billboard across the street, and Alfred falls a dozen floors to his death on the street below.

Jesus Christ Porn Star[]

Alfred is kidnapped by a man named Paul Thomas and taken back to his "porno directing lair", where Thomas sings to Alfred while attempting to molest him. Eventually, the real Jesus Christ arrives at the scene and saves Alfred before anything horrible can happen, giving Thomas a stern talking-to. When Alfred tries to thank Jesus, Jesus distortedly screeches at the top of his lungs, scaring both Alfred and Thomas away. The cartoon ends with Jesus sitting down by himself and making himself a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich.

Perpetual Limbo of room[]

Alfred and Phat Dawg sit in the house from Alfred's Playhouse, with Alfred excitedly looking around the room, rocking back and forth, and Phat Dawg smoking weed while commercials play on the TV, getting progressively weirder while the video goes on. Alfred then attempts to leave, stating that he's going to "Rent The Sound Of Music for him and his best friend Phat Dawg", only to find out that by some weird phenomenon, he can't, and that he's stuck in the room forever.

This is the first appearance of the "Playhouse", and the last official appearance of Phat Dawg, who disappears afterward, only appearing again in 2009 in Father Oceania as "Black Person Alfred" and in an unreleased animation made in 2005 called Alfred's StoryofChristmas before disappearing again forever.

Alfred's StoryofChristmas[]

Alfred and Phat Dawg are spending Christmas together when Alfred tries to tell Phat Dawg his own distorted rendition of the Story of Christmas, which Phat Dawg doesn't want to hear about, but ultimately reluctantly agrees.

Alfred starts to tell his own rendition of A Visit from St. Nicholas, which Phat Dawg shuts down immediately when Alfred begins talking about his porn-addicted older brother. Alfred then tries to tell his own version of A Christmas Carol where Scrooge and the Ghosts of Christmas Present, Past and Future all get high with Bob Marley.

Alfred is ultimately set on the right track by Phat Dawg, and finally starts stumbling through the Story of Christmas. When Alfred tells the story of Mary's impregnation, Phat Dawg notices that all the characters are played by him and Alfred, and questions why this is, with Alfred sadly stating that he doesn't know anybody else. When he starts to talk about Jesus's birth, the camera pans away before he can finish talking, which angers him.

Alfred tells the story of how Mary took Joseph to the Maurey Show and admitted that baby Jesus might not be Joseph's kid, which angers Joseph greatly as he's currently paying child support for the kid. Maurey reveals that God is the father of Jesus, to which Joseph gets up and dances to, and God is distraught. Phat Dawg criticises Alfred and tells him that Maurey and his show didn't exist two thousand years ago, which Alfred acknowledges and casually mentions that "It had been so long since he was there", much to Phat Dawg's confusion.

Alfred then goes on to start telling the story of Noah's Ark right in the middle of Mary and Joseph going to Bethlehem to give birth to Jesus, which prompts anger from Phat Dawg. Alfred then snaps at Phat Dawg and threatens to cry, to which Phat Dawg backs down and lets him continue. Alfred then speeds through the story of Noah's Ark, Moses and the Red Sea, the Lion's Den, and David and Goliath, before the story eventually spirals out into a retelling of Jack and the Beanstalk, and then Goldilocks and the Three Bears.

Phat Dawg cuts Alfred off and threatens to crap under the Christmas tree if he doesn't get to the birth of Jesus soon, which horrifies Alfred. Alfred tells the story of Moses (the Jewish one) goes on an acid trip and starts talking to 43rd President of the United States, George Bush, who takes on the form of a burning bush. Then Jesus is born, and an afterparty is thrown, with all of God's friends attending - The Tooth Fairy, The Easter Bunny, Chewbacca, Fidel Castra and Buddha, just to name a few. He then begins to tell the story of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer until Phat Dawg tries to tell of Alfred for his inaccurate retelling again, but then collapses, completely drunk. Alfred finishes telling the story of Christmas, and saying that "Jesus will go down and history" in the tune of the classic Christmas carol "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer".

Buddha is then shown flying through the sky on Santa's sleigh, which is being pulled by Fidel Castra. Alfred recalls his teacher telling him that "Every time a bell rings, a teenage girl in America gets pregnant". Alfred then tells the audience to practise safe sex while Phat Dawg throws up on the floor, bringing the short to a close.

Later incarnations[]

Rise of Alfred, Alfred's Playhouse & The Alfred Alfer Movie[]

(Main article: Alfred Alfer)

A few years after Alfred's debut on Newgrounds, Alfred creator Emily Youcis started on an animated short called Rise of Alfred, which marked the beginning of Alfred's true descent into villainy, where he was promoted to manager of his job and began to battle with painful memories of a past of abandonment and loneliness, and an evil DID-induced alter ego known as Dictator Alfred. A few months later, after losing interest in another project, Emily began to work on a short-film sequel trilogy called Alfred's Playhouse, that was based on the iconic children's program Peewee's Playhouse and delved more into the past of Alfred, explaining his illnesses and actions in Rise of Alfred. By this point, Phat Dawg and his friendship with Alfred were retconned, and Alfred was revealed to be a victim of sexual abuse from his owner/adoptive father, which caused Alfred to go on to disassociate for much of his life and develop into a anti-social, isolated man-child. The series revolves around Alfred attempting to avoid his tragic plight via disassociating into a magic, fictional world known as the "Playhouse", where he sings, dances and interacts with his vast plethora of imaginary friends. Over the course of the trilogy, Alfred is subjected to flashbacks of sexual abuse and additional sexual violence from the Playhouse Friends, before Alfred's dictator alter, who refers to himself as "Dictator Pickles", reveals himself to Alfred, explaining that the Playhouse is a fictional world that Alfred would disassociate to while Pickles would endure constant sexual assault. The trilogy ends with Pickles taking over Alfred's body (and, as revealed in a later short called American Alfer, becoming a serial killer, rapist and necrophiliac), and Alfred permanently disassociating into his mind as a last-ditch attempt to escape the horror (which works, albeit temporarily).

Alfred would go on to appear in several other music videos and wacky animations by Emily Youcis, before eventually starring in The Alfred Alfer Movie, the sequel to Alfred's Playhouse, which was split into six parts released over 2012 - 2016. The film began with a graphic music video for MC Bushpig's horrorcore rap song EAT MY ROTTEN MEAT, which showed the creation of the land of Where The Dead Go To Die, a grotesque, baron wasteland full of corpses and the film's main setting, which is heavily implied to be a result of Dictator Pickles' disgusting actions affecting his own mind, which Alfred is a resident of. Afterwards, Alfred is shown spending quality time with his best friend/implied lover, Labby, who is driving a very excited Alfred out to the remains of the land of Where The Dead Go To Die for a "surprise". To Alfred's dismay, though, Labby instead leaves Alfred for dead, leaving Alfred to navigate the disgusting wasteland, where he's presented with obstacles such as a rude talking watermelon, a strip club full of dead people, and the manifestation of Dictator Pickles' necrophilia fetish possessing Alfred and forcing him to go on a necrophilia fetish while singing G.G. Allin's "Fuck The Dead". After all of this, Alfred gives up trying to find Labby and returns to the Playhouse, where he's ambushed by Labby, who (alongside the Playhouse Friends) brutally molests Alfred. During this, Alfred finds out from Dictator Pickles that he is a fictional character who is widely popular online, prompting the film to end with Alfred plugging his consciousness into the internet and becoming a god and virtual right-wing political leader, destroying all who opposed his reign of terror. This was the final appearance of Alfred, with his last spoken lines being cheering after murdering an innocent person over a mean comment online, and the final shot of the film being Alfred being presented as an immortal god who rules over the internet (and, by proxy, the majority of the world) alongside a glamorised and whitewashed Donald Trump, marking the end of the character's appearances, the end of Emily Youcis' reputation as a good and affable online artist and the beginning of her reputation as an insufferable misinformation-peddling nazi.

Alfred went on to become an infamous cartoon character online who is resented by many for the series' rampant violence and gore, along with Alfred creator Emily Youcis' deranged political views. Despite this, within the very small remnants of the Alfred fandom, Alfred and his plights are admired for their charm, characters and artistic value, and their themes that help victims of abuse to cope.

Alfred Christ[]

(Main article: Alfred Christ)

In 2009, after the release of Alfred's Playhouse but before The Alfred Alfer Movie, Emily would release Alfred Christ, which featured Alfred rising from the grave of Christ in Jesus' place and smiting all who oppose him while "Acceptable in the 80's" by Calvin Harris played. This silly little music video would go on to become a meme, as well as becoming a big part of the Alfred Alfer branding, and would eventually (seemingly) influence the plot of The Alfred Alfer Movie, with most of the movie taking place in the earlier mentioned land of Where The Dead Go To Die, a wasteland resembling the setting of Alfred Christ, and Alfred ascending to the status of a digital god in the film's finale and smiting all he had a distaste for, similarly to Alfred Christ, albeit with more nazi dogwhistles than before.

Alfred Christ (aside from the infamous Alfred's Playhouse trilogy) is one of Emily Youcis' most famous animations to date, being subject of many fan recreations featuring people's OCs (Original Characters).

Where The Dead Go To Die[]

(Main article: Alfred Alfer (Where The Dead Go To Die))

Alfred makes a cameo appearance in Where The Dead Go To Die (2012), specifically in Chapter 3: The Mask That Monsters Wear, when Ralph is watching the TV. He speaks about how adults who want to touch children are bad and should be avoided. While his appearance doesn't serve much purpose, his lines do seem to reference the film's antagonist, Labby, who committed acts of child grooming and pedophilia (among other crimes) in the film's first chapter, and also seems to foreshadow his return in Chapter 3, which happens shortly after Alfred's cameo.

Alfred's appearance in WTDGTD is a result of the at-the-time relationship between the film's creator, Jimmy Screamerclauz, and Emily Youcis. Similarly, Labby, WTDGTD's main antagonist, also appears as the main antagonist in The Alfred Alfer Movie, where he appears as a manifestation of the titular protagonist's trauma surrounding sexual abuse, neglect and abandonment, torturing him relentlessly throughout the film.

External links[]

Alfred Alfer on the Alfred Alfer wiki

Alfred Alfer on the Alfred's Playhouse Wiki

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