~ Crash's recurring catchphrase in every episode. noicon
“
Yo, Imma let ya finish but, DING-DONG!
„
~ Crash's most famous line in the series intro, which is referencing Kanye West. noicon
“
(Wyatt: Who’s that?) Yo, it's Crash at the door. Don't wait for you to open kick it down, Hardcore! I’m purple with a 'tude, Where your mom hide the food? (Wyatt: In the fridge), I'ma eat it, Then we tear it up, dude. (Wyatt: No makeup or feelings, Tea parties or dolls), Now it's ninjas and football, and face slams! (Wyatt: Good call!)
„
~ Crash's lyrics in the show's theme song, highlighting his mischievous antics in the manner of a "hipster". noicon
Crash Bernstein is one of the titular main protagonists (alongside Wyatt Bernstein) of the 2012-2014 Disney XD series Crash and Bernstein.
Crash is a living puppet with many insane abilities such as eating sandwiches that are the size of basketballs and eating a watermelon with a straw, and he comes with ninja weapons, such as ninja swords and a small cannon. Crash was created by Wyatt Bernstein and then came to life. Crash, apparently becomes Wyatt's adoptive brother. Crash also bathes in the toilet because he doesn't like going in public pools because of what kids do in there. Crash "faceslams" people that he loves, especially Wyatt as it is when Crash slams his head into the other person's head. Crash uses himself as a basketball. Crash can't spell, milkshakes go right through him. Crash watches a lot of telenovelas and wrestling. He is also a founding member of The XD Squad.
Crash is puppeteered and voiced by Tim Lagasse, who was known for puppeteering Oobi.
For his birthday, Wyatt Bernstein is taken to a Build-A-Bestie store where he creates a puppet that he names Crash, who comes to life as the brother he always wanted. Crash and Wyatt must deal with three sisters of various ages at home, as the two might have their differences like other brothers do, but they still have each other's back.
Heroic Moments[]
Season 1[]
"Crash Lands", his very existence helped making Wyatt feel better about wanting a brother and helping Wyatt cope in a overwhelming female-oriented environment.
"Scaredy Crash", he helps Wyatt overcome his fear of bugs by taking him to watch Tug Fly the Bug Guy, a bug specialist, perform his bug show at school.
"Educating Crash", Crash takes on The Slapper (the meanest kid in Linus Pauling Middle School), which helped making him and Wyatt popular for facing against a bully.
"Undercover Crash", defeating Doris, a sadistic con-artist who fought Crash and Bernstein at the arcade, by getting Bernstein to throw Crash and make him fly and hit Doris on the back while she was trying to escape, which got the city's cops to come in and arrest Doris on the spot.
Crash also returned the items he stole at the Arcade, like a cotton candy machine, a street-light and a plush frog eventually. He also learns how and why it's bad to steal.
"System Crash", he contributes to being a trickster team player for Wyatt and Jennifer to face against Cleo, Mr. Poulos, and Amanda in a game of indoor football.
"Release the Crashen", he and Bernstein both help the Bernsteins find a way to detach themselves away from obnoxious and oppressive neighbors like Gerry and Gretchen. Crash does this by vandalizing their property to make them dislike the Bernsteins as they intended.
He also humorously expresses sympathy for how disgusted Gerry's dog must've felt with Gerry kissing the dog's lips.
"Cold Hard Crash", despite getting carried away about being rich thanks to Mrs. Lopez leaving Crash her cats and a fortune in cash, he helps Wyatt win against Scottie for President of the Snowboard Club by buying the election. He also evacuates Wyatt and his friends to avoid a avalanche that Crash set up.
"Crashington", he helps Wyatt with taking care of Mel and the girls while they were all sick.
"Crash Jacked", he helps getting back Bernstein's bicycle stolen by Rufus.
While Rufus kidnapped Crash and held him hostage to force Wyatt into agreeing to give up, Crash uses his annoying antics to make Rufus to regret his decision and turn Crash's crazy shenanigans into a form of karmic retribution for Rufus to be humiliated for being a thief, which helped Crash escaping from Rufus and getting the bike back for Wyatt to keep.
"Crashlemania", Crash tries to help Wyatt get back into wrestling class with help from Mr. Poulos when Wyatt gets kicked off the team due to Crash's reckless antics.
"Comic Book Crash", he and Bernstein (in heroic roles as The Shredder and Mr. Purple) to go retrieve Jumper, a basset hound that Jasmine has been dog sitting, from the dog thief. With some minor help from the Possum (played by Mr. Poulos), they all defeat the dog thief, and save the dog.
"Parade Crasher", he and Wyatt help Roland prepare for the annual Portland Day Parade in order for them to complete the two hours of community service, which allowed Crash and Wyatt to move onto 8th grade.
Season 2[]
"The Nosejob Job", he helps pretending to be a victim of Bernstein tearing off Crash's jelly "nose" to terrify the tyrannical nerdy teenagers who took over Wyatt's and Crash's hangout area, into thinking Bernstein tore off Crash's 'bloody nose', which makes them retreat and Crash's jelly nose helped Wyatt into defeating those teenagers.
"Crash is Having a Baby", he protected his egg son "Robert Downey Junior", by installing multiple net catchers to prevent falling splat on the ground when Bernstein constantly tried making it fall onto the ground due to Mrs. Bernstein ordering Bernstein to do so.
"Home Alone... with Crash", he and Wyatt steal Mr. Poulos's keys and get children to help Jasmine be freed from locking herself in a wall vent.
"Trash & Bernstein", he helps Wyatt and Pesto win in a cup-stacking competition by using super speed and warping reality to his will.
"Double Header", he defeated his pimple head, Tucker Taylor, from threatening Crash to usurp him and taking over "The Wyatt and Crash Show" on Linus Pauling Middle School's TV network.
Appearance[]
Crash is a lavender whatnot muppet with blackish-brown hair and detachable eyes. Crash is almost never seen without his trademark red t-shirt. The shirt is labeled with a skull with light-blue head phones. He also wear a pair of blue jeans and black shoes with white tips, laces, and soles.
Personality[]
Crash is a complete goofball. He is depicted as mischievous, facetious, extreme, crazy, loud, daredevilish and a fun-loving puppet who loves breaking things and doing a ton of wildly crazy activities with Bernstein to make the latter's life more fun in the sense of living out brotherhood and doing "manly" things since Bernstein has to deal with a selfishly one-sided, female-oriented family.
While he means well, Crash's stupidity, hyperactivity and egotism makes him do some reckless, troublemaking, flippant, disorderly, rude and insensitive things, although he is more meant to be a comedic jerk than anything else. Despite being extremely dim-witted, airheaded, irresponsible, a bit boorish and gullible, there are moments where he can be earnest, uninhibited and empathetic towards other characters, especially Bernstein, his best friend and Mrs. Lopez in "Frat Chance", a Spanish woman Crash is true friends with. There were times when he's aware of his stupidity, as seen in "The Nose Job"; as Crash told Bernstein he tried using his inferior intellect to get rid of the bullies that didn't work out so well.
Sometimes his immaturity and stupidity can lead to trouble, as in the first episode "Crash Lands"; he was brought to life, and the first thing he does was not only falling in love with Princess Glitter (Jasmine's toy princess), but he also destroyed a bunch of the antiques, and in the same episode he tore down a wall in the apartment. He got irrationally jealous towards Wyatt's dad in "Like Father, Like Purple"; where he tried being so one-sided and competitive towards Wyatt's dad made Wyatt disappointed in how petty Crash was, and breaking through a school's wall to get Wyatt out of trouble was one of his many extremist moves. His idiotic questions and monkey business upon asking far-fetched and random questions to Cassie in "Crash Ask Too Many Questions" got her fired due to getting upset and annoyed at Crash's idiocy. And in the episode, "Party Crasher", he got himself muscular and obsessed with working out, tiring everyone and trying to frustrate others with his egotism (at one point getting warlike over Tanner's boat and Crash jumping onto Tanner's remote control boat for no good reason).
He is prone to some gross-out humor (i.e "Crashington", "Trash and Bernstein", "Man Crash", and many more to list) and a bunch of surreal humor (i.e "Merry Crashenfest"). The latter is more present for how much his goofy (and sometimes bizarre) antics are generally played for comic-relief. He can also have his moments of being incident-prone and clumsy that serve as the show's slapstick humor, this mostly comes from his idiocy, buffoonery, clumsiness, incompetence and sometimes being mistreated by other people that hate him, which are all often played for laughs.
As seen in "Crashus Maximus", many of his alter egos change on a whim by the sound of lightning and give him alternative personality traits. Which makes it seem like Crash has some sort of vague hinting of Bipolar disorder and possibly multi-personality disorder, the former would explain where Crash's insanity come from. It doesn't help that he clearly shows Sadistic personality disorder, as he can sometimes lack remorse upon torturing others or messing with others for his own amusement, as well as showing many symptoms of Attention-deficit/hyperactivity personality disorder since he behaves in overactive or impulsive manners, tends to talk so much, getting easily distracted, and being easily excitable or exuberant whenever he's in the mood.
It's important to note that his immature behavior and his chaotic silliness can be used to his advantage at times. Especially where his wackiness can help him and Bernstein achieve the impossible in the most dire of situations. He may be easy to poke fun at and laugh at the fact he's an hyperactive idiot with many incompetent moments, but he is capable of using swords and hold onto any other lethal weapon at his disposal, can drag a fight out for hours (ex. Fighting Dorris in "Undercover Crash"), will attack anyone on impulse if he gets insulted too harshly, is capable of using his reckless stupidity to torture his tormentors as seen in "Educating Crash" and "Crash Jacked", and his insanity allowed him to do crazy things like tearing down a wall from Wyatt's room as seen in "Crash Lands", being able to finish a large meal in seconds as seen in "Frat Chance", has manipulated the laws of speed by stacking up cups fast in seconds despite footage of him doing it slowly as seen in "Trash and Bernstein", and even brought a horse/pony into Wyatt's room for his egg as seen in "Crash Is Having A Baby".
This is also better explored by his anti-villainous counterpart in the "Pranksgiving" series, as he's become even smarter than before and becomes this sadistic trickster who can foil anyone's pranks due to knowing how to foil every scheme in the book before they try pulling a prank on him, and he also pulls effective pranks on them due to manipulating their anticipations and gullibility, showcasing more and more that nobody should trust him ever.
Powers and Skills[]
Cunning: He's shown this in his more anti-villainous role in Pranksgiving, as he always plans out his pranks and always gains the advantage over the pranks he pulls onto others, as well as foiling their revenge plan in the episode "Turkey with a Side of Payback".
Super Strength: Pouncing onto anyone makes them fall easily.
Magic: Many times he'd occasionally break logic with random sorcery, in "Undercover Crash"; he was even able to fly after Bernstein threw him from far away to attack a elderly hustler while she was running away, and in "Crashus Maximus"; he can shuffle cards with his butt, from the inside of it too!
Long-lasting Durability/Immortality: Always survives from anything. From being hit on the head by anvils, falling from any height, burning his hand, and can breathe in space as revealed in the episode, Flushed in Space (although, he never had a nose and can still breathe without one).
In "Shorty Crash", he was even able to live after getting his head literally decapitated by the ride "The Decapitator"!! The stuffing from his head and his body doesn't affect him in any way possible, meaning that he's immortal (and the way he was happy about it in a masochistic way doesn't help that fact).
Self Amputation: Is capable of taking his limbs apart like his legs as seen in "Crashlemania", or even his ears.
Ninjitsu: As seen in the intro, he has a red belt on his head upon flying across the screen.
Teleportation: Is able to teleport towards the person he wants to talk to, making a "woosh" noise.
Swordsmanship: His ninja sword was taken from another longer ninja sword, and is able to use it flawlessly.
Head strength: His head can be used as a basketball, or something even stronger than that.
Hyperspace Wardrobe: He always has a wide array of outfits and can change into any of them in the blink of an eye, especially for a given visual comedy gag.
Hyperspace Weaponry: He can spawn weapons at will, as seen in "Educating Crash"; the only weapons he placed in the school's cardboard box were two pairs of giant knives, nunchucks, a missile, an axe, a giant mallet, and a cannon.
Cannon Mouth: For the things he swallows, his esophagus can be used as a launcher when he eats a string of Christmas lights and ornaments as seen in "Merry Crashenfest", and even swiss cheese as seen in "Frat Chance", the list just goes on.
Appearance Manipulation/Persona change/cloning: He is capable of personalizing and customizing his appearance (he can either gain weight, lose weight, change height, haircut, tattoo, shrink, be muscular, etc.)
Electric wiring: In "The Nose Job", he was capable of making his TV cord long enough to reach to the apartment's elevator room to play video games from the room, which gets hampered when the elevator door opened.
Endless Pica: He's also capable of eating just about everything. Even things that aren't edible for a normal human, which makes sense since he's a puppet.
Extended tongue: In "Crash Asks Too Many Questions", sticking his tongue onto a pole, and stretching it a few feet away, makes it nearly longer than a actual jump rope.
Generating Alter-Egos: As seen in the episode, "Crashus Maximus" (as well as the teaser), after he went outside with a sword to "stab" lightening on an impulse despite Bernstein warning him of the consequences with being electrocuted; Crash hearing the sound of lightening afterwards, allows him to change into quirky personas at random, these alter egos include a caveman, a cat, a chef, a gladiator, and a billionaire.
Trivia[]
He was the mascot of Disney XD, until he was replaced by Future-Worm!
He was born/created in Build-A-Bestie, a store that was destroyed at the end of the first episode.
At the end of the same episode he helped Eric, Mr. Poulos and Wyatt destroy Build-A-Bestie.
He has 4 fingers on each hand.
Has a collection of real and powerful ninja katana swords, which are capable of piercing through a human chest with a single cut
He's in love with Jasmine's doll until "Crash Crush", when he temporarily broke up with her.
He was willing to directly kill Flex Fletcher in "Crash vs. Flex", all so he can have Princess Glitter to himself.
Despite his deep voice that would make him seem like a manchild, he is meant to have a immature "preteen" personality to connect with Bernstein as a teenager.
Crash is afraid of mustaches because of a trip to the doctor's office when he was stung by a scorpion, the doctor made him focus on his mustache to ease the pain of a shot he gave crash, somehow resulting in his fear of mustaches.
Crash's favorite rainy-day activity is rolling down Mr. Poulos’ car windows
Crash apparently like putting mayo in a sandwich, as he does this in "Frat Chance" where Wyatt considers it to be "white diarrhea".
In "Crash is Having a Baby", Crash named his egg son after Robert Downey Jr. (the iconic actor for Iron Man)
Crash hosted a public service announcement in all episodes (including subsequent airings of the first episode) where he says the following words: "I am made of cloth and stuffing. All the wild and crazy awesome things I do on the show cannot hurt me or anyone else. You, however, are not made of cloth and stuffing. So keep it real and leave all the mayhem and face-slamming to me. Rock on." (This was done to prevent kids from face-slamming their foreheads into each other because many kids were reported of imitating Crash's face slams)
In Disney XD's Pranksgiving, he pranked Randy replacing Randy's Ninja Balls with Crash's Prank Ninja Ball to prank him in Norrisville High.
