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| “ | Making super rad cars was rad, but the Mayor flying into the sky to go on an adventure, to bring back amazing stories to tell? That was fucking metal. |
„ |
| ~ Joey Fucknuts in "Joey Fucknuts Takes to the Skies". |
Joey Fucknuts is a character in the SCP Foundation series. He is the leader of SCP-3885-01, a gang of zombie motorcyclists who inhabit Vulture Gulch and drive through towns to terrorize and steal parts to add to their extravagant vehicles but never hurt anyone. He and his gang were possibly created by a being only known as "Boss" for unknown reasons apart from just going around on their vehicles and spread chaos. The Foundation tried to contain them inside the town but Joey would escape the organization and go on his own adventures.
Biography[]
Background[]
Joey Fucknuts and his fellow zombies were originally normal humans who had died, but were brought back to life by an unknown being simply known as the "Boss". The Boss placed them in the abandoned small mining town of Vulture Gulch in in Maricopa County, Arizona and ordered them to do something which involved them going around through towns and possibly terrorizing people. Joey became the Mayor of the town as he was loved by almost all of them and together with his group built numerous vehicles which were mostly comprised of random objects and shaped extremely different from normal vehicles, leading to most of them exploding shortly after production. They named themselves the Black Iron Boneheadz of Vulture Gulch and together would drive through the streets and after locating a town would barge in and steal parts they deemed fitting to add to their vehicles. They would threaten anyone who prevented them from claiming the parts, but never actually act on their threats as they didn't enjoy harming people. The SCP Foundation was alerted at their existence and had them enclosed inside the town, designating them SCP-3885-01 and the town as SCP-3885. In order to be on good terms with them the Foundation provided them with disposed vehicles which satisfied the zombies.
Joey's Adventure[]
One day while thinking about the sky, Joey decided to make a list of things that were present in it as he didn't understand it and how the things flying in it worked. After finishing the list he went thinking atop his throne made out of burning tires where he was approached by three of his fellow zombies, Chef, Awesome and Flower. They showed him a mysterious box they found which made noise when moving it, making them think it was alive. Upon inspecting the box, Joey found that it was a box containing LEGO blocks which served to build a toy airplane. Learning that it was a toy that they could smash and rebuild it again, the three zombies left to play with it, while Joey figured out that he could build his very own plane.
Joey began working on building his plane by using his fists to shape the metal around him. He kept working on his plane for a relentless amount of time, taking only three breaks in four months. During this time, Awesome would approach Joey and ask him what he was working on and when the latter replied that he was constructing a flying car Awesome would be amazed but soon become dismayed as Joey would leave them. Joey promised Awesome that he would return to Vulture Gulch and bring them stories of his adventures. After nine months had passed working, Joey remembered that hadn't slept for all of this time and decided to sleep in order to gain his energy and think about what he was really doing. As he slept he began dreaming of him standing in the dessert under the bright sun. While dreaming, Joey began feeling insecure over his decision of flying away from Vulture Gulch as he could unintentionally scare people and abandon his fellow zombies which were like family to him. Suddenly he was attacked by SCP-3895 which sought to assimilate him, but was rescued by Palsinnor and Dathrun, a blue cyborg tyrannosaurus and a red dragon wizard depicted on SCP-3435. The two beings took Joey to safety in the night sky and assured him that they were his friends. They explained to Joey that he shouldn’t let his fear and insecurity take the better of him as he should follow his dreams and assured him that his friends would be fine while he was away.
Upon waking up Joey was determined to chase his dream and eventually finished constructing the bizarre plane which he named Mirror Bird that was modeled after the B-17 Flying Fortress and stored in its cargo were his bike, several flamethrowers with fuel, axe blades and several objects given to him by the other zombies. On May 2nd of 2018, the day of his departure, everyone gathered in a wide vacant lot at the end of Gold Street where Joey stood beside his plane. He told them how he wished to see the outside world and tell them about it and promised to return and look at the new vehicles they would create in his absence. After bidding them farewell, Joey hooped onto the plane and switched it on. The plane began moving down the street despite its unusual structure and soon lifted off, crashing surrounding buildings and flying away from Vulture Gulch. The Foundation obviously noticed all of this and almost immediately sent their agents after Joey in order to contain him back into the town.
Flying through the sky, Joey became fascinated by what he was seeing and cried as he didn't know if he was supposed to feel powerful and amazed. He then began thinking that he actually died and this was the afterlife but after some time he summarized he was still alive and cried again as he was the only to achieve this life. Joey then saw that he was going into the clouds and believing that they were living masses he decided to go straight to them to see if they would retaliate. Expecting to crash into the clouds Joey was surprised to be going through them like they weren't there and began thinking that they didn't even exist. As he kept flying Joey noticed a vast forest below and wanting to see it for himself he landed on a nearby field, which unbeknownst to him was in Ontario. Upon landing he went inside the forest marveling at the nature, wrongly assuming that someone had carved the trees out of wood and glued their branches and thought that the deer were horses with spikes growing from their heads.
However, while Joey was relaxing and taking in the beauty of the forest as the sun was setting the calmness was disrupted by a massive translucent quadruped monster known as SCP-1763-EX. As the monster knocked down numerous trees Joey shouted at it to stop destroying them as a lot of work was put into the forest. This, however, caught the attention of the monster and it soon began making its way towards Joey. Joey quickly armed himself with his flamethrower axe and attempted to convince the creature that there was no need to fight and could become friends, but it was unmoved and continued approaching him. Seeing no other way, Joey attacked it only for the monster to not be affected as it bit down on him before throwing him aside. The monster proceeded to claw at Joey, wounding him so much that he thought that this was the end for him. Thankfully, when remembering his friends and family back at Vulture Gulch and how they would be left alone if he was gone, Joey mussed up all his remaining strength and energy, quickly recovering from his injuries and preparing to fight back. Just as the monster was about to strike at him again, Joey used all of his power to deliver a devastating punch as its nose, causing a massive explosion. In the aftermath, an exhausted Joey found himself in a crater he had made with no sign of the monster and attempted to get back to his plane but before he could reach it fell unconscious to the ground.
Joey awoke the next day to a voice asking him if he was alive and if not they would steal his things. He recovered himself and found another zombie-like man armed with a big gun, known to the Foundation as SCP-3884-01. As the other man commented on Joey still being alive and his appearance, the latter introduced himself to the stranger and asked if they could be friends. The man ignored his question and proceeded to ask Joey about his plane to which Joey explained how he had made all of it himself. The man became somewhat frustrated by Joey's stupidity and asked where did he come from precisely. Joey explained how he originated from a deserted environment where he his friends were isolated, causing the man to get suspicious and asked Joey if they were forced to stay inside their home because of some scientists and guards. Joey affirmed it, confirming the man's suspicion that Joey was previously contained by the Foundation. Panicking the man introduced himself as Gary and explained to Joey that the Foundation were bad people who were now after him and trying to imprison him again. Summarizing that they didn't have much time left Gary asked Joey if the plane still worked with Joey responding that it should but needed gas. Hearing this Gary attempted to get his new "friend" out of here, but Joey was unwilling to leave his plane as he could simply fill it with his own gas-like blood. As Joey filled the plane with fuel and discussed with Gary they heard the Foundation forces getting near and so Joey planned to talk to them and solve the issue.
Other Adventures[]
Wanting to go to the moon and eat it Joey decided to steal the Declaration of Independence in order to learn the secrets to space travel. He broke inside the White House and made his way to the room which contained the Declaration. Seeing two guards talking with each other, Joey moved fast and blasted the head of one of the guards with his made-up shotgun before aiming it to the other one. However, to Joey's surprise the guard did a backflip, knocking the shotgun out his hands. The guard then revealed himself to be Dr. Everett Mann who had previously confronted Joey back when the zombie killed the doctor's best friend, Mr. Bear. Joey was unmoved and immediately pulled another shotgun from his ribcage, but Mann soon called his backup, an MTF, which blasted through the ceiling and aimed their rifles at the zombie. To Mann's surprise, the MTF revealed themselves to be the Mages Academy who had made a deal with Joey, but betrayed him as they used their magic to disarm him since they planned to steal the Declaration for themselves. While they were discussing with Joey Mann threw a flashbang, blinding everyone in the room and allowing Joey to use his net-firing gun to trap the mages with Scranton nets that blocked magic. Joey and Mann revealed that their confrontation was a farce as they planned to steal the Declaration and split between them, but the mages also revealed that their claim of stealing the Declaration was a lie as they were he to protect it. Suddenly, SCP-4844, Tim Allen, entered the room having finally bypassed the Academy's protection rituals and knocked out Mann, intending to steal the Declaration for himself, but was almost immediately defeated by George Washington. Washington allowed Joey to get the Declaration of Independence since he was worthy. Joey proceeded to do so and after getting it escaped to the nearby forest. Unbeknownst to him, Washington was actually Foundation Researcher Calvin who believed that he gave Joey a fake copy of the Declaration, but noticed that he forgot to replace it with the real one, meaning that Joey had stolen the real Declaration. Joey was able to use the Declaration to build a spaceship out of wood and launched himself towards the moon, leaving Mann, Calvin and the mages to go after him with the assistance of Nicholas Cage.
Appearance[]
Although the exact details of his appearance are unknown it is known that he resembled a thin and tall decaying man, with green skin and his nose having fallen off, and always wore brown motorcycle boots, worn jeans, a faded Ramones t-shirt, a green army cap with goggles, and a scarred leather bomber jacket with a frayed and thinning woolen collar.
Powers and Abilities[]
Like the other instances of SCP-3885-01, Joey was a zombie with a decaying body but possessing great superhuman strength and durability. Joey was shown to build an entire plane by simply using his fists to weld the metal together in one year and when being under attack by SCP-1783-EX his body only sustained some recoverable but painful injuries. It has been stated that he once ate a headlight without harm, stared at the sun all day and despite his eyes hurting he did not receive any permanent visual damage and could sit atop a pile of burning tires without problem. Additionally, it was shown that Joey's blood was actually gas which he could use to fuel his vehicles and according to him he weighed over a thousand pounds. During his confrontation with SCP-1783-EX, Joey became so mad that he was able to charge himself with enough energy to punch the monster and cause a massive explosion which destroyed the surrounding area along with the monster, but left him extremely exhausted.
Also like his fellow zombies, Joey was somewhat of a skilled mechanic despite knowing next to nothing how vehicles actually worked. He was able to construct various vehicles out of scrap, including a functioning plane despite never seeing an actual one in person, and could also use a flamethrower axe that could be used both as an axe and as a flamethrower and carried various made-up shotguns some of which he could store inside his body.
Personality[]
Joey was described as being curious, passionate, wise and kind. Being a member of SCP-3885-01, Joey was extremely dumb but when compared to his fellow zombies he was considered the smartest out of all of them as he could think more clearly, although he would develop fear when thinking for a long time, and liked to learn about new things. As mayor of Vulture Gulch he looked after his people, helping them in their objectives and making sure to keep them from harm’s way. Joey deeply cared for the other zombies as he considered them his family, especially Flower who he had a crush on Flower but was too shy to tell her, and he didn't consider himself above them as at first protested to be treated as highly valuable by them. He and his fellow zombies enjoyed building bizarre vehicles to go around while causing mild chaos, wanting to make their Boss proud. When visiting surrounding towns they would terrorize the citizen but always made sure to not harm anyone as Joey knew people had families and dreams of their own. Contrary to what they appear to do Joey despises harming anyone, let alone innocent people, and instead wanted to become friends with them, but when facing with unreasonable monsters who only want to destroy Joey would be filled with rage and use all of his power to bring them down. After the Foundation restricted them from leaving Vulture Gulch in exchange for free mechanical parts Joey and his fellows were fine with this and even considered the Foundation personnel as friends. When deciding to go on a journey outside Vulture Gulch and through the sky, Joey was determined to go through with his dream, even though he would be leaving his people behind, but promised them to return and bring them stories of his adventures.
Gallery[]
Images[]
Videos[]
Trivia[]
- Joey and SCP-3885-01 appear to be based from the villains of the Mad Max franchise.
- Joey has fear towards clouds due to continually changing shape and often appearing and disappearing without a pattern. When Joey tried to study the sun he got blinded by it and feared that it was a very powerful being. This led Joey to think that the sun was the leader of the clouds similar to him and his Boss.
- Joey once tried to make battery salad but as expected it was painful to eat.
- Joey lived inside the vault of a destroyed bank since his fellow zombies considered him extremely important and valuable.
- It is possible that the Boss who reanimated Joey and his fellow zombies is the same as Baron von Boneyard, a mysterious necromancer who created the living skeleton SCP-3988 to distribute advertisements for his supernatural shop.
- It appears that the tale "Joey Fucknuts Steals The Declaration of Independence" was supposed to be set in the "Cool War 2: Ruiz From Your Grave" canon as one of the titles prompted from the hub is "Joey Steals The Declaration Of Independence", but is currently not part of it, probably due to the Joey in the canon's hub referring to anartist Joey Tamlin.
