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Jonathan "John" Bennett is the main protagonist of the Ted franchise. He is the main protagonist of Ted, and the deuteragonist of Ted 2.
On Christmas Eve in 1985, in a small suburb outside of Boston, 8-year-old and lonely John Bennet received a large teddy bear for Christmas. One night, John made a wish that his teddy bear, who he named Ted, would come to life and they would be best friends forever and ever. His wish would eventually come true when it coincides with a shooting star. The next morning, John and his parents got the shock of their life when they saw Ted alive and talking, but later brushed off their fear and sees it as a Christmas miracle. Even when Ted becomes a celebrity, he and John still maintain their friendship, and they vow to be "thunder buddies for life."
27 years later, Ted and John are still friends who indulges in recreational drugs and popular cultures, all the while the latter's in a relationship with Lori. During this time, as their anniversary approaches, John is pressured by Lori to have Ted moved out, feeling he can't move forward with him around and due to their crazy antics. John managed to find Ted an apartment to live in and apply him a job at a grocery store.
Around this time, Ted invited John and Lori on a dinner double date with his coworker and eventual girlfriend Tami-Lynn, who insulted Lori while John just watch, much to her ire. John and Lori's relationship finally took a turn for the worst when Ted calls John to bail on her during a party thrown by her boss to meet their idol Sam J. Jones, who plays Flash Gordon. Caught up in the moment, John forgot about his promise to be with Lori. As he was leaving, Lori caught John there and break up with him. John blames Ted for ruining his life and spend a couple of night in a hotel room. After they getting into a fight, in which John snarkily stated he wished that he could've gotten a Teddy Ruxpin when he was a kid instead, Ted help John repairs his relationship with Lori by having John sing at a concert held by his former flame, Norah Jones, to express his love for her, which resulted in him being booed by the audience, though Lori is touched by his attempt.
Later, as John and Lori are patching up their relationship, Ted was kidnapped by Donny and his son Robert, prompting the two to come to his rescue. When the chase culminated at Fenway Park, Ted is torn in half by Donny, and John knocked Robert out. With his dying breath, Ted urges John to be happy and remain with Lori before the magic that brought him to life fades away, reverting him back to an ordinary inanimate teddy bear. John and Lori gather his stuffing and bring his remains home to repair, which proves fruitless. That night, guilty over the loss of her boyrfriend's best friend, Lori spots a shooting star and makes a wish. The next morning, John is relieved to find Ted magically restored, but is distraught to find that he's physically/mentally challenged. However, Ted fooled him and encourages him and Lori to resume their relationship, where they eventually got married, with Sam J. Jones as the minister.
- "Thunder buddies for life."
- "F**k you thunder!"
- "You know, sometimes I think back to that Christmas morning when I was 8 years old, I wish I just got a Teddy Ruxpin."
- "TEDDY RUX-F**KING-PIN!!!"
- "You guys at least tried marriage therapy?"
- "Oh, Tuesday nights we get f**ked up and throw apples at joggers."
- "I’m sorry. Sorry, sir. Cookie crisp in your bum bumsies, I’m sorry."
- "Holy sh*t! Hey, Ted! You know what this is? It’s Super Lemon Haze. It’s a really rare strand, it’s a cross between Lemon Skunk and Super Silver Haze. It’s totally potent. I mean I’ve only had it once in my life and it was ones of the best highs I ever had."
- "Please tell me that’s not the only bong you brought on this trip."
- "Hashtag, 'My amazing summer.'"
- "Oh, I f**king owe you, you bastard."
- "Oh, Teddy! What the f**k?! Holy sh*t! You mother f**ker!"
- He is portrayed by Mark Wahlberg, by Brett Manley as a kid, and by Colton Shires as a teenager. He also portrayed Cade Yeager in Transformers: Age Of Extinction and Detective Terry Hoitz in The Other Guys.