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Let's green egg and ham it!
~ Kazam's most baffling and famous quote.
Who DARED to wake ME? Ain't gonna make this a mystery! Don't wanna do time on your wishes 3! Watch it boy, you don't wanna dis me or I'll dish out my misery! Now who's that sorry wannabe that disturbed my Zs? If you wanna be number 1, I'm sorry boy that's been done! But if you got the itches for a sack of riches no matter how avaricious I'm the man that can grant your wishes! Hey, don't turn your butt on me! I'm the man of the ages, straight out the pages! Hang on I'm contagious, outrageous, spontaneous! You can't contain this! I am Kazaam!
~ Kazaam speaks in rap

Kazaam, played by Shaquille o'Neal, is a five thousand year old Genie and the titular protagonist of the comedy film Kazaam. It was a box office failure, but still funny nonetheless.

Origins

Kazaam saw much of history, he mentions Biblical events and such in his verses. He is very wise, yet somewhat embittered about being trapped and not having a human feeling. He feels debted however to those who summon him, such as the case with Max.

At some point, he was trapped in a magic lamp in an abandoned building which was destroyed in a construction working. Kazaam moved from the lamp to a boombox soon afters.

Biography

Max, a young boy estranged from his dad, goes to school yet was chased by the bullies into the back alleys of town. Finally they end up in the Genie's building. Max smashes the boombox, releasing Kazaam, who scares off the bullies and alarms Max. Kazaam says if Max was the one who awoke him, he'll make him suffer. Then Kazaam follows Max everywhere, and tries to show him his supernatural powers, but is zapped into oblivion by accident.

Max goes back to normal life thinking nothing of it, until he runs into Kazaam again on the street. The Genie follows him everywhere, and he pesters him to make a wish. Max then wishes for junk food from the sky, which Kazaam says was like the Miracle of the Loaves and Fishes.

Later, Max says he owns Kazaam til the third wish is over. Kazaam asks him what his next wishes will be, and he asks for his parents to get back together, but Kazaam says he's not a Djinn, who are said to be more powerful than Genies, but Kazaam doesn't believe in Djinn.

Afterwards, Max finds his estranged father as the apparent owner of a nightclub. One sexy singer becomes attracted to Kazaam and they get him onstage to sing. He is soon a hit and the evil owner of the store, Malik, finds out Kazaam is a Genie. Malik is holding Max's father as bait so he captures Max. He tortures Max and uses him as blackmail, and then Malik throws Max down an elevator shaft, killing him. Malik enslaves Kazaam by using his boombox as leverage, yet Kazaam soon fights his way out of brainwashing and attacks the men. He turns Malik into a human basketball and throws him down the garbage chute.

Kazaam prays for Max's resurrection, and is initially unable to do so yet soon he finally becomes a Djinn. He resurrects Max, and is overjoyed. Max's parents do get back together, and Kazaam decides to sacrifice his immortality to finally feel human emotions. He leaves with the sexy singer from the club who berates him over not having a job.

Trivia

  • The Nostalgia Critic made fun of Kazaam multiple times, calling him a pedophile several times because of his seemingly sexual behaviour with Max, as well as infamously mocking Kazaam's disbelief in Djinn which is an odd disbelief coming from a supernatural entity, as the Critic yelled "The GENIE doesn't believe in FAIRYTALES!? HELLO!" The Critic also mocked the film's wrecking ball opening, saying it symbolises the film's being "dead on arrival".
  • It is odd that in this film, Genie and Djinn are different entities, while in real Muslim lore, the "Genie" is just an Anglicised version of "Djinn" and both entities in real lore are one and the same.
  • This film is famous for being part of a Mandela Effect - people confused it with "Shazam", also said to be about Genies.


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