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I sleep in a racing car, do you? (Homer Simpson: I sleep in a big bed with my wife). Oh.
~ - Kirk Van Houten.

Kirk Evelyn Van Houten is a supporting character in the animated television series The Simpsons. He is the father of Milhouse, and former ex-husband of Luann (they reconciled), and a good friend of Homer Simpson.

Early Life and Marriage

Kirk served in the U.S. Army and graduated from Gudger College. He worked at his father-in-law's cracker factory, 'Southern Cracker' (the Dryyyyy Cracker), in middle management, but when Luann leaves him, he is fired from the factory. According to Luann, Kirk was not a very good provider, and she had to borrow money from her sister or steal clothes from the church donation box. He is of Dutch and Danish descent, but favors the former. He bickers with Norbert Van Houten, Milhouse's uncle, about the latter's Danish heritage.

Kirk After Divorce

After the divorce, Kirk was stereotypical middle-aged male loser and deadbeat dad, suffering depression after his divorce from Luann. He has been seen with one girlfriend since - Starla Starbeam, a chainsmoking alcoholic who stole his car. Luann got custody of Milhouse when they divorced, but Kirk has visitation rights. Much to his displeasure, Milhouse often addressed him as "Weekend Dad". Kirk suffers from the need to cry all the time after his divorce, even in good times. He once cut his foot off to try to get Luann back. After being fired from the Cracker Factory, he struggled to hold down a job. He was once employed as an assistant to the guy who puts fliers under people's windshield wipers. Kirk also had a job standing on the curb holding a sign directing people to a condo development and worked as a scarecrow protecting a soy-bean crop, which resulted in his eye being gouged by a crow. Since being fired from the cracker company, Kirk seems to be unable to maintain a steady job. He attended Leavelle's Bodyguard Academy and he was also was a singer who sold his tapes from the trunk of his car. His song was titled "Can I Borrow A Feeling" and the album featured a picture of Kirk on the front in a robe, which he was using in an attempt to be a smoking jacket. He was also unemployed at some point, surviving on alimony payments and unemployment benefits. In the episode Days of Wine and D'oh'ses, Kirk is present at Barney's A.A. meeting. The episode was aired after Kirk and Luann divorced, suggesting that Kirk became an alcoholic after the divorce.

Arrest

He was once arrested for kidnapping. When Bart goes to a concert his parents banned him from, he hides at Kirk's apartment which leads to his arrest. Despite liking the attraction from the ladies outside the prison, he is released when Principal Skinner, Lisa and Alcatraaz find out Bart was lying.

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Van Houten Family | UFoHTH

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See Also
Alien vs Predator Heroes | American Dad! Heroes | American Crime Story Heroes | American Horror Story Heroes | Blue Sky Heroes | Bob's Burgers Heroes | Die Hard Heroes | Disney Heroes | Family Guy Heroes | Ferdinand Heroes | Free Guy Heroes | Futurama Heroes | Garfield Heroes | Ice Age Heroes | Isle of Dogs Heroes | Kingsman Heroes | Narnia Heroes | Night at the Museum Heroes | Planet of the Apes Heroes | Rick Riordan Heroes | Rio Heroes | Star Wars Heroes | The French Dispatch Heroes | The Grand Budapest Hotel Heroes | The Simpsons Heroes | X-Men Heroes | X-Men Movie Heroes

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