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| “ | Everything’s going to hell anyway, so what do you care if I die attempting some sort of ridiculous ‘Action Movie Hero’ plan? This sort of disaster happens only once in a lifetime, and I’ll be damned if I spend it sitting in a corner holding my eyes closed. | „ |
| ~ Dr. Edison in "Game Day 1: Die Hardest". |
Dr. Michael Edison is a recurring protagonist in the SCP Foundation series. He is one of the more notable doctors working for the SCP Foundation. He is known for his desire to be a badass just like Dr. Clef, but failing in his attempts at achieving this. He is also known for writing various types of fanfiction based on the Foundation.
Biography[]
Not much is known about Dr. Michael Edison's past and recruitment into the SCP Foundation. What is known is that Dr. Edison was able to become a respected Level-3 Researcher and head of Inter-Site Testing Initiative, but he also suffered from mental illness as he took medication and was assigned a therapist for him. He was originally stationed at Site-17 before transferring to Site-19. Edison wished to be a badass just like fellow researcher Dr. Alto Clef, and in his pursuit of becoming famous like Clef, Edison would attempt to resolve serious situations by himself, but often fail.
Edison also wrote numerous movie scripts and fanfiction of the Foundation and its personnel. Some of his works included: "Cut Short" which was about Clef fighting William Keats; "Dr. Edison: Alien Blaster" in which Edison's self-insert prepares himself in fighting the Destroyers described by SCP-1050; "Lord Blackwood Vs. The Destroyers" which was the same story as the previous one but Edison was replaced with Lord Blackwood; and "I Still Don't Care" in which the Foundation refuses to get involved with the world of My Little Pony and other random franchises. For some reason Edison held a grudge against Delivery Agent Roadrunner and featured him in his works in unfavorable ways.
During testing with SCP-826, Edison wrote a 3-page short story titled "The Sword That Shoots Laser Beams When You Swing It" which poetically described a sword that shot lasers when swung and remained on a pedestal for thousands of years. Edison had hoped to use SCP-826 to bring the sword to the real world, and it worked as an agent successfully retrieved it from SCP-826's room. The sword was left in Edison's possession for him to study, but while testing it the agent who retrieved it began believing himself to be a knight named Galthor who was the sword's true owner. Soon both the agent and the sword suddenly disappeared and returned to the story which changed to include him. Edison redid the test and sent a D-Class to get the sword from the agent. After he failed Edison sent even more D-Classes who managed to retrieve the agent and the first D-Class, leaving the sword behind. However, just like with the agent, the D-Classes began believing themselves to be characters in the story and like before were transported back to book which described them as knights equipped with strange weapons gifted to them by Edisongrad. From these results, Edison stopped with the testing and started to believe that SCP-826 might be sentient as he didn't mention his name to any of the subjects involved.
Some time after the containment of SCP-1032, an alarm clock with twenty-two hands that counted down to specific events, one of the events it predicted was Edison reclassifying the item as Safe. When the time came, Edison abided with the description, not wanting for things to go awry.
During testing with SCP-1402, a briefcase that when presented to someone would produce countless documents about the person which were either correct or false, Edison to presented it to some individuals. The first one was a doctor which resulted in the creation of 708 documents detailing a self-insert fanfiction for a show supposedly written by him, but the doctor denied writing it. Edison then presented SCP-1402 to Clef himself which created 108 documents of "Doctor Clef Jokes" that were similar to the "Chuck Norris Jokes". In the last test Edison presented the briefcase to SCP-524 which resulted in the creation of 666 documents claiming that the rabbit was the Antichrist and responsible for all of the modern disasters.
During testing with SCP-1459, a claw crane arcade game machine that kills puppies in various ways as per the user's statement while dispensing cookies as a reward, Edison stated to the machine the phrase "Immortality" which resulted in a puppy being taxidermied and labeled as a hero. In another test Edison stated "Are We Cool Yet?" which resulted in the corpse of another puppy orbiting the singing head of Abraham Lincoln.
While feeding SCP-391 in Site-17, Edison suddenly heard a explosion nearby caused by the Proponents of Paranormal Rights. Alarmed Edison went to the nearest security station only to find all of security personnel had been killed. Looking through the security monitors, Edison realized that the site was undergoing a major containment breach and attempted to activate the site's self-destruct sequence manually but it was too damaged to respond. This left Edison to order all personnel through intercom to evacuate and enter high alert. He then noticed that a group of masked men were escorting SCP-353 towards a section of the site that kept all biohazardous materials. Deciding to take matters into his own hands, Edison grabbed anything he thought could be useful and went after them.
Edison with his assistant went to SCP-914 in order to use it to upgrade their helmets. While doing so he received a call from Dr. King who was trapped in another security station due to the exit being blocked by a huge pile of appleseeds he unwillingly manifested. On his way to SCP-161, a pinwheel that allowed the user to pass through objects, Edison explained to King his plan to use 161 to pass through the floors and go directly to 353 at which point he would fend her and her companions off using SCP-912.
Edison then attempted to pass through the corridor's deadly laser system via acrobatics only to fall flat on his face. Luckily, King had deactivated the lasers from the station, allowing Edison to make his way through the corridor to SCP-161 safely. Suddenly SCP-953 in her fox form tackled him from behind and attempted to tear his genitals as revenge for him erroneously referring to her as a kitsune. King saved him by reactivating the lasers and separating 953 from Edison, but he was unable to reach 161 while 953 was left outside of the chamber.
Determined to go through with his self-appointed mission, Edison ordered King to deactivate the security system again. King was concerned over Edison's safety and attempted to reason with him, but Edison told him that this was his greatest and only chance at finally achieving something and again asked King to deactivate the lasers. King obliged, allowing Edison to immediately get his hands on SCP-161 just before 953 reached him. Unfortunately for him, Edison fell to the men's room of the building's section beneath him, breaking most of his bones in the process. As his leg bones jutted out, gangrene began setting since Edison was left in the room for more than forty eight hours before he was finally found and brought to Infirmary 12 of Site 24 where his legs were presumably regrown. Following the incident, both Edison and King were separately interviewed by the O5 Council over it and their course of actions.
When a Foundation document got leaked to the public, Edison decided to create a movie about the SCP Foundation to hide the leak as an Alternate Reality Game. He sent a group of mercenaries to kidnap Uwe Boll, Jason Friedberg, Ben Stein, Tommy Wiseau, Robert Pattinson, Samuel L. Jackson, Bobo the monkey, Richard Simmons, Kaven Spacey, Brad Pitt, among others and had them participate in his movie. The actors played the roles of several notable Foundation personnel, with Pitt playing Edison himself as a Mary Sue character. After that was done, Edison proceeded to administer all of them Class-A amnestics, making them believe that Boll had the right to use the digital representation of the actors for the movie, even paying the actors for their silence. Following the publishing of the movie, Edison was confronted by a member of the Council. The Overseer scolded and reprimanded Edison over his gross disrespect and neglect of the rules, but let him keep his job since it helped with the leak problem, on the condition that Edison be temporarily transferred to Keter Duty in a site in Antarctica until the personnel's anger at him over their depiction extinguished.
After a long day of work in the site, Edison was contacted by King via telephone, informing him that his movie had surprisingly become a cult classic with the critic YouTube channel ThatGuyWithTheGlasses even reviewing it. This made the Council mad as this meant that the public would become more interested in the SCP Foundation. Edison came up with the idea of creating sequels directed by Michael Bay with the intent of making his franchise worse and be forgotten. Although the sequels weren't great it didn't make people forget about the Foundation, and Edison was sent back to Antarctica.
Four years had passed, Edison's assignment in Antarctica ended and he returned to Site-19 where he was reassigned as the handler of SCP-2337. As various personnel sent emails to SCP-2337, asking him a variety of questions, Edison sent them 2337's replies, but because of the absurd and nonsensical manner he spoke Edison had a hard time correctly translating the responses. With the help of the Foundation's linguistics department, Edison equipped his computer with a experimental software which served to convey what 2337 was saying.
During testing with SCP-3922, Edison created various short films to test the anomaly. The first film was a mockumentary titled Dr. Edison Interviews The Devil in which Edison's self insert played by himself interviewed Satan who was designated SCP-001 and played by another doctor. Edison hoped to use this film to interview the SCP-3922-A instances, but when SCP-3922 was used on it, the instances subdued SCP-001 while completely ignoring Edison. In the next series of tests, Edison used footage from a previous test to create several short films collectively known as The Moon War Anthology in which Hitler, Stalin, the Chaos Insurgency and the "Evil King" attempted to steal a "moon-destroyer ray" to destroy the moon. However, as each movie was exposed to SCP-3922, the Three Moons Initiative operatives were fed up with these movies and refused to further intervene, forcing Edison to discontinue the testing.
During testing with SCP-4035, a table lamp that was inhabited by a genie-like apparition designated SCP-4035-1 who could change the bodies of those who summoned him in order for them to achieve their "wishes", Edison attempted to test some D-Classes, but the first D-Class he was testing with asked for a way to kill all those who had wronged him. SCP-4035-1 granted to the D-Class superhuman strength which he used to break free and kill another D-Class before he himself was terminated. In the second test, Edison had a second D-Class to talk to SCP-4035-1, telling him he no idea for what to wish for which resulted in their hippocampus being removed. In the third test, the third D-Class asked for more wishes, but it resulted in them exploding into numerous body parts belonging to various animals.
At some point, Edison was approached by SCP-4602, offering to help Edison in his current problem in exchange for a gift. Edison having no actual problems right now decided to give the living Maneki-Neko figurine a dollar for something of equal value. Three hours later, Edison received a pack of chewing gum that lacked one piece of gum, since 4602 had taken one for itself, and after ascertaining that the gum was nonanomalous Edison began consuming it.
The newly formed Foundation Elimination Coalition in their campaign to take down the Foundation took over Site-19 among others. The Foundation fought back, retaking the sites and battling the remnants of the Coalition in Site-19. As this was going on Edison hid from the chaos in his office. Seeing an opportunity, Edison decided to write down the whole ordeal in hopes of turning it into a script and have a director and producers to use it to make a movie.
During testing with SCP-5846, an empty storefront in a plaza strip mall in St. Cloud, Florida, which would change into another business when its marquee letters were arranged to spell a store name, Edison used the letters to form the name Burger King to see if SCP-5846 could replicate non-anomalous businesses. However, SCP-5846 changed to a small castle inhabited by sentient hamburgers speaking old English and serving a large hamburger with a golden crown.
Appearance[]
The true appearance of Edison is never revealed and there are no details about it.
Powers and Abilities[]
Edison, despite working for the Foundation, was simply a normal human being without any special powers or skills. However, he proved to be greatly intelligent, possessing great knowledge on various anomalies contained by the Foundation and how to use them for his own advantage. Unfortunately, he suffered from mental illness as he required a psychiatrist and medication.
Personality[]
Edison was a respected and knowledgeable doctor working for the Foundation. Despite this, he was also shown to be quite of an impulsive individual who didn't take things seriously most of the time. Edison had a deep desire to become a notorious badass just like Dr. Clef, and was determined to accomplish this whenever an opportunity arose, not really caring about his own safety or the consequences of his actions, but due to his incompetence he almost always failed often spectacularly. Edison was somewhat of a weeb, being a big fan of various anime and Japan as a whole, even writing some fanfiction of the series. In his fanfiction Edison usually wrote his self-insert as a Mary Sue protagonist, while also featuring Agent Roadrunner as a poor side character who always met a terrible demise. What he was good at doing, however, was writing movie scripts and he himself was surprised on how much he enjoyed doing this, regardless of the quality of the movies. Edison also saw the Chaos Insurgency as ridiculous and shallow buffoons.
Gallery[]
Trivia[]
- Like most of the notable Foundation employees, Edison is the author avatar of user Edrobot.
- The sequels Dr. Edison wrote in "Dr. Edison's Bargain Bin of Direct-to-Forum Sequels" are short tales written by Edrobot as funny sequels in the discussion pages of the original tales.
- SCP-777-J considers Edison, in his identity of Space Detective Kamen Mask X, his old rival.
- Edison once wrote to Lord Blackwood, asking him if he ever was in Japan.
- In "Game Day, Phase 1: Secure", Clef after learning of what happened to Edison felt partially responsible for his injuries, feeling bad for being a bad example for other doctors, while the person he was talking to, presumably Dr. Kondraki, couldn't care less about Edison or that he tried to emulate them.
- Edison is apparently a fan of various anime and action movies like Die Hard.
- Based on the ending of the tale "Life in the Multiverse", when he transferred to Antarctica Edison could have worked in Site-1483 that served to survey the entrance to the universe of the Third Antarctic Empire.
- In "Technical Issues", after Dr. Bright stole one of Edison's JRPGs, possibly Shadowrun, to combine it with SCP-826, Edison tried to complain about to System Analyst Patrick Gephart who refused to help. Later on, Edison complained to Gephart that his computer began behaving like a shark and the latter simply told him to feed it fish. In "New Technical Issues Archive", Edison's caps lock key of his keyboard got stuck and asked Researcher Rosen what to do, with Rosen replying that he either should hold down the shift key before a replacement keyboard came, try to unstuck the key or continually shout in public to make it seem he was screaming while typing. After Rosen was suspended and temporarily replaced by Dr. Taylor, Edison asked them for help in taking his keyboard out of a tank of some liquid, only for Taylor to tell him to get it out himself while chastising him for not getting the Foundation gloves that had just run out.
