| “ | Clean up on aisle five! | „ |
| ~ Michael Scarn |
Michael Scarn is the protagonist of the fake film Threat Level Midnight from the tv show The Office.
History[]
First Missions[]
Michael Scarn stopped the attempted attacks on the NFL, MLB and NBA All-Star games from his archenemy, Goldenface. He was considered the best secret agent in the business and married Catherine-Zeta Jones.
A Tragic Loss[]
Scarn took a 20k with his friend Robin Williams, which was the day his wife died at the WNBA All-Star game by Goldenface.
Special Mission[]
Scarn received a request from President Jackson to stop Goldenface blowing up the NHL All-Star game while finding the hostages inside. Scarn didn't want to do it but the president informs him that the country is at "Threat Level.... MIDNIGHT." Scarn does a coin flip best out of seven and decides to go to the stadium.
Hockey Training[]
Scarn went inside the stadium and met the famed trainer Cherokee Jack who taught him to become one of the hottest hockey players in the country. Later, he did a speed skating test and lost to Goldenface and the champion. So, Scarn decided to kill the champion with his American flag towel.
The Funky Cat[]
Scarn's robot butler Samuel L. Chang found out about one of Goldenface's allies, Jasmine Windsong at the Funky Cat which is a hip jazz club. Scarn persuaded Windsong where Goldenface's hostages are in the stadium. As Scarn used his recording device, he reversed Windsong's last performance which reveals that the hostages are found beneath the stadium.
Stadium Confrontation[]
Scarn and Samuel went to the bottom of the stadium to confront Goldenface. He reveals to Scarn the bomb he hid is in the puck. Scarn had to either forgive Goldenface for the death of his wife to stop the bomb and free the hostages or get himself killed. Scarn yelled to Goldenface, "Go puck yourself" and got shot the brain, lungs, heart, back and testicles.
Aftermath[]
Scarn was sent to the hospital and recovered from the bullet shot by Goldenface. Both Scarn and Samuel tell President Jackson that the bomb is in the puck. Goldenface and his minion were revealed as friends with President Jackson so they can blow up Jackson's stadium for the insurance money. Scarn was accused of killing the skating champion and lost his self-confidence.
Do The Scarn[]
Scarn saw his old friend Billy the Bartender who cheered him up with a jukebox song called "Do The Scarn". The song helped Scarn regain his confidence and was ready to go back to the stadium.
The Big Game[]
During the All-Star game, Samuel told Scarn that Cherokee Jack died. Scarn went into the ice and was struggling for getting the puck with one minute left. Later, Scarn saw the ghost of Cherokee Jack who told him to "take it out on the puck. All on the puck." Scarn shot the puck out the stadium, fixing Billy's tv satellite and explodes in front of Goldenface. Scarn won the NHL All-Star trophy for removing the puck.
Second Retirement[]
Scarn retired again and thought he had a great adventure. He received a call from the president for another mission.
Quotes[]
- "Hey, Goldenface. Go puck yourself!"
Trivia[]
- Scarn is played by Steve Carell who plays Michael Scott, Felonious Gru, Ned McDodd and Hammy the Squirrel.