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That is so wrong. How could they sell that to kids?
~ Motherf--ker Mike to Board James regarding Mr. Bucket
Mike boardjames 7075

As he appeared in Weapons and Warriors

Motherf--ker Clarence Mike is a supporting protagonist and former antagonist in the Cinemassacre web series, Board James. He is the personification of a friend we all knew as kids who would intentionally cheat to win board games.

Personality

In comparison to Board James, Motherf--ker Mike has a more childish personality when it comes to playing board games and is notorious for cheating in them which often causes frustration for James and Bad Luck Bootsy.

This childish personality also causes Mike to become easily amused at anything deemed juvenile such as his amusement over the sexual nature of the jingle that plays on the Mr. Bucket commercial and how much he enjoys playing Doogie Doo with James since it's a dog who poops using a special Gak-like substance.

Appearances

  • He first appeared in Episode 3, "Crossfire," where he, and Board James, would play the titular board game. As the game went on, Mike would steal James's balls from him. In the end, Board James emerges as the victor, and the final shot was Mike spinning into the background on a gyro from the game.
  • His second appearance was in Weapons & Warriors. In the beginning of the episode, while James was in the process of setting the game up, Mike impatiently kept telling him to hurry up, without bothering to help him set the game up. Once the game is set up, the two play the game, with Mike cheating during the game once again. However, once again, James wins in the end, much to Mike's anger.
  • In Deadly Danger Dungeons, Mike is invited by James to play Deadly Danger Dungeons, a custom-made incredibly difficult board game created by James himself when he was a kid. Due to its impossible dificulty, Mike is unable to beat this game, and he ends up dying constantly. At the end of the episode, James says to a frustrated Mike "Who's the motherfucker now, motherfucker?" In which Mike responds "I guess the person who created this game", referring to James.
  • In Hero Quest, Mike originally chooses to play the board game with James. However, by the end of the episode, Mike decides that he no longer wants to play the game, much to James' annoyance.
  • In Mr. Bucket, James and Mike watch a Mr. Bucket commercial on YouTube, apalling both of them. They later briefly play with James' Mr. Bucket before Mike leaves. However, after Mike leaves, Mr. Bucket begins to chase Board James throughout the house to suck on his balls, despite James insisting he had removed Mr. Bucket's batteries earlier. Board James gave Mike a call to come over quickly to presumably talk about Mr. Bucket's sudden sentience and sexual advances. At the end of the episode, James, Mr. Bucket and eventually Mike end up in the basement, where Mike has his balls sucked by Mr. Bucket. With this distraction, Board James successfully grabs onto Mr. Bucket and drowns him.
  • In Tornado Rex, wanting to find a third person for the game, Bootsy shows up and offers to play with Mike and James. Although reluctant, the two let Bootsy play the game. Though James and Mike warn Bootsy about only twisting Tornado Rex three times, Bootsy twists it excessively while James is distracted by Mike's cheating. The top starts spinning in the room and gouges out Bootsy's eye, much to the horror of James and Mike.
  • In Donut Disaster, James and Mike tell Bootsy, now wearing an eyepatch and holding a coffee, that they don't want him near the game and tell him that they can never finish a game with him. Bootsy flashbacks to all his accidents that ruined a game, including the moment with Tornado Rex. Bootsy asks them for another chance. Mike relents and admits Donut Disaster is supposed to blow up so even Bootsy couldn't ruin it. They play the game when the donuts fly off the machine, startling Bootsy. He splashes his coffee over his face, severely burning him.
  • In Battle Masters, James and Mike struggle with figuring out the rules of the large board game. While playing, James had to check the manual before attempting any move. And even with the manual at hand, the rules were way too complicated and confusing, to the point that Mike ended up giving up.
  • In Splat, Mike plays Grape Escape with James and Bootsy, which he wins. They decide to play Splat when they see Bootsy eating Play-Doh. The two warn Bootsy that the Play-Doh could be poisonous. Over the course of the video, Bootsy fails to take heed of his friends' warning and continues to eat Play-Doh. At the end of the video, Mike and James see that all the Play-Doh is gone and hear Bootsy's stomach churning, causing him great discomfort. To James and Mike's disgust, Bootsy begins constantly vomiting all over the floor.
  • In Doggie Doo, James and Mike play with the dog by feeding it Play-Doh, which causes it too shit the Play-Doh out of its ass, much to their amusement. This is also one of the few Board James episodes where Mike doesn't cheat.
  • In Shark Attack, Bootsy tries to let Mike and James let him join in the game. The two begin insulting him and eventually Mike talks about him having sex with a frog. James responds by saying Bootsy had sex with a fish. Bootsy then comes clean and says he had sex with a dolphin which was a mammal. Mike tells Bootsy to go hide and calls him Waldo. Bootsy responds by pretending to reel in a fish, giving the middle finger as he does it. Things get dark when Bootsy says "Fuck you motherfucking piece of shit." This actually scared James and even Mike. Almost immediately, Bootsy becomes his cheerful self and the three play the game. Over the course of the video, Mike cheats throughout the game and ends up winning . This, coupled with Bootsy falls in love with the mechanical shark and eventually takes the shark off and goes to sleep with it, causes James to go into a rage and lashes out at his friends. While Mike was startled, Bootsy was unfazed. At the end of the video, Bootsy's genitalia was bit off by the shark, forcing him to replace it with a hook.
  • In Dream Phone, After finishing a game of Life, Bootsy brings in Dream Phone and the three begin playing it, though James and Mike were skeptical about its fun factor since it was targeted to girls. James wins the game and the two admit the game was fun as it played like a mystery. Bootsy gives James the Dream Phone as he had 15 other boxes at home. The Dream Phone activates at night, much to James' confusion. He suspects a prank from Bootsy and invites him over. James later find Bootsy hung in his closet. Though horrified at first, James accepts it and goes, "Oh well, he's dead." James shows the body to Mike who initially reacts in horror and asks James if he killed him. James refuses and asks Mike the same question, receiving the same answer. Like James, Mike also ends up accepting Bootsy's death. James figures out that the phone itself was the killer and defeats it using a microwave. It's also implied that James himself could have went insane and killed his friends.
  • Mike, along with Bootsy were resurrected in the Ouija/Domino Rally video. James tries to contact the spirits of his friends to prove his innocence with the Ouija board. When it seemingly fails, James plays Domino Rally until the spirit of Bootsy knocks the planchette into the dominoes and spelt, "Ah Shucks". Board James then uses a series of rituals and enters the spirit realm and encounters the Dream Phone and Mr. Bucket, both of whom are killed by Elvis Presley. After playing Hangman, James realizes that Elvis was really Mike while Bootsy took the form of Rodney Dangerfield. James, Mike and Bootsy use the planchette and awaken in the realm of the living. Both Mike and Bootsy tell James to forget about the whole thing.
  • In Full House & Do The Urkel, Mike plays the two title games with Bootsy and James. In the review, Mike jokingly calls James a nerd, referencing the Angry Video Game Nerd. The ending of the episode suggests that Motherfucker Mike and Bootsy never existed to begin with as they remark that James doesn't have any friends and the Crossfire episode is shown with James playing by himself instead of with Mike.
  • In 13 Dead End Drive, Mike plays the title game with Bootsy and James with the two of them getting disturbed by James' eccentric behavior when they start the game and try to leave but find that the windows and doors have been blocked by bars and James destroys their cell phones, forcing them to play the game. In James' attic, they find a box of articles regarding a mass murderer named Hang Man, who is imprisoned and was discovered to have bodies inside of a storage container full of board games. However, things take a creepy turn when James' picture shows up in the picture frame of the game, suggesting that they should kill him which sends Bootsy and Mike into a freak out as they scream in fear for several seconds. Shortly after, James disappears, only to reenter the room in a detective outfit and attempts to kill Mike with a noose until he fights back and hangs James. Mike's photo is now shown on the picture frame and Bootsy finds a photo from the Dream Phone episode of him hanging in the closet and Mike holding his noose while posing with his corpse, suggesting Mike was his murderer, although it could have likely been the game turning them against each other. As he pleads with Bootsy that he didn't kill him, Bootsy begins to hang him in the same manner he did to James. Bootsy, playing on his bad luck, steps onto a plank trap and accidentally hangs himself as well. At the end of the episode, as the Hang Man, who looks just like James but with longer hair, sits in prison reading board game instruction manuals, two inmates next to him, both sounding like Mike and Bootsy, yell for him to be quiet. 
  • In Nightmare, the concept is introduced of an Inception-style world where each time a player dies, they are sent into a new universe where the first person that died previously is in control of the game and that universe. Mike dies several times in this Inception-style world: Once by falling down some stairs within the 13 Dead End Drive universe, being violently operated on by James in the Operation universe, sinking in quicksand in the Candy Land universe and smashing his head on a rock in the Forbidden Bridge universe.

Trivia

  • The episode Nightmare reveals that Clarence is his middle name, confirming his first name to be Motherf--ker and his last name to be Mike.
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