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“ | So long, suckers! | „ |
~ Ook and Gluk's catchphrases |
Ook Shadowski and Gluk Jones are two caveman and are the titular protagonists of the 2010 comic book The Adventures of Ook and Gluk: Kung-Fu Cavemen From the Future.
History[]
Early Life[]
They where born sometime around 500,000 BC. When they where babies, When they met each other, and it didn't take long for the two to have been having adventures ever since. When they were two, they were provoking a prehistoric tiger, possibly a sabertooth tiger, by sticking their tongues out at him and laughing. Another time, when they were three, they were riding a log on a river, then fell off a waterfall, but unfortunately for Ook, he broke his tooth during their fall, and didn't grow back until years later. When they were seven, they almost were eaten by a tyrannosaurus rex named "Mog-Mog." They were riding a pogostick and took a big leap over a cliff, escaping the dinosaur.
Ook and Gluk also developed a knack for annoying and causing trouble for Chief Goppernopper. This included destroying his spear and wheel, burning him, and defiling his throne.
Trashing the wedding[]
After defiling the throne of Goppernopper, Ook and Gluk almost got arrested, but Goppernopper then fell in love with Gak, and threatened to throw Ook and Gluk in the slammer if she didn't marry him. Gak, not wanting to lose Ook, reluctantly agreed, but Ook and Gluk promised to find a way to stop the marriage. Ook suggested putting red ants in his loincloth, dropping a bees' hive on his head, and throwing "pointy rocks" at him, which were actually Mog-Mog's pointy teeth. Mog-Mog then chased them, more likely to eat Ook, and they swung over a quicksand pit on a vine. They tried to save him after they found out that Mog-Mog was only trying to protect her baby.
Gluk's idea of using the gorilla to save Mog-Mog worked, and they and their new friends ran to the wedding place to save Gak. At the wedding, when the priest asked if anyone objected to the marriage, Ook, Gluk, Lily, and Mog-Mog stormed into the church and the kids told Lily to go "Sik-em," and she went over and bit Goppernopper on the buttoks a few times. After that, Goppernopper angrily exclaimed that he quit, and he and his guards stormed off out of Caveland, much to Ook's delight.
Training[]
Slavery and hiding[]
After Goppernopper left Caveland, Ook and Gulk was very happy. About a week after his departure, Goppernopper returned to Caveland, this time with one of the Mechasaurs: the Mecharex. After he defeated Mog-Mog, he put all Caveland citizens into slavery, but brought Ook and Gluk to Goppernopper City in 2222 AD to do torture experiments on them, but they escaped with Lily. They hid in a garbage dump thingy until Master Wong saw them and he said he could hide them, and Ook and his friends gladly agreed. Later that night, after Ook and Gluk explained what happened, Wong said that they must stay here and learn the ways of kung-fu.
First year[]
The next day, Master Wong asked them what they wanted to learn, and Ook and Gulk wanted to learn how to kick butt, but Wong said that those who kick butt are weak, to their disappointment. Then he gave Ook and Gluk white belts, explaining that they are the symbols of their dedication to their training. Then Ook asks when the can learn how to use weapons, such as spears and knives, but Wong explains that those who truly desire peace mustn't carry weapon, but a man of peace must not be weak, and demonstrates that the finger must become a dagger, the open hand an axe, and the arm a spear.
A week later, Ook and Gluk start to learn how to balance on stone piles in different poses, meditate, gardening, mathematics, science, spelling, grammar, and chemistry, etc.
At the end of their first year of training, Ook and Gluk started to grow tired of the white belt, so they asked Master Wong when they could get new belts. Master Wong replied to this, asking, "Who is the greatest man?." Gluk said that Master Wong is the greatest man, but was incorrect, so they didn't get new belts.
Second year[]
After another whole year of training, Ook and Gluk got older and better at kung-fu. Near the end of the year, they asked again about the belts, asking what they had to do to get black belts. Again, Master Wong asked the question. Ook said it was a king and Gluk said it was the president. But they were both wrong.
Third year[]
Sometime in 2224 AD, when Master Wong, Ook, Gluk, Lily. Lan were planting vegetables in the garden, Ook and Gluk asked again about the belts, and Ook commented that even purple belts are "kind of cool." When Master Wong asked the boys the question again, Ook and Gluk thought that it was either one of them, but it was wrong. So they didn't get new belts.
Later years[]
Ook and Gluk continued training and learning in the final four years. Over time, Ook developed feelings for Lan, Master Wong's daughter. Eventually, his missing tooth grew back in. It can be assumed that Ook and Lan started dating, given the multiple hints throughout the book. But Ook and Gluk never could figure out who the greatest man was. They tried different answers, such as their ancestors, the Pope, teachers, artist, Popeye, and Lan once said that the greatest man could be a woman, all incorrect.
After seven years of training, Ook and Gluk decided that the time had come for "[them] to face [their] destiny." Before they left, they gave one last bow to Master Wong. Once they were out the door, Gluk said that they finally figured out who the greatest man was; nobody. That was the correct answer. Master Wong explained that "titles and trophies have no value to the man who is at peace with himself. True greatness is anonymous. Therefore, the greatest man is nobody." For answering correctly, Master Wong gave them black belts. After one final good-bye, they left.
Infiltration of Goppernopper Tower[]
When they arrived at Goppernopper Tower, the first obstacle Ook, Gluk, and Lily came to was the Chief Goppernopper's guards. After a brief distraction, however, Ook and Gluk attacked them. Ook took on the shorter guard, while Gluk took on the taller guard. Despite their Laser guns, and due to their lack of any real fighting skills, the guards were easily defeated.
The killer robots[]
After breaking into Goppernopper Tower, Ook, Gluk, and Lily searched hallway after hallway, looking for the room with the Time Portal in it. However, they were being monitored by J. P. Goppernopper via the Security Monitor 2000. Goppernopper ordered for the release of the Killer Robots, which broke through a wall and started chasing the heroes. One of them opened their torso, revealing a giant, spring-loaded glove. The glove hit Ook in the face, breaking his newly-grown tooth.
Because of this, Gluk charged after that Killer Robot, and punched it in the jaw. Ook also went on the offensive, but both were defeated. About to finish them off, the Killer Robots started to carry the cavemen off somewhere, but their only obstacle was Lily. Ook and Gluk told Lily to save herself, but Lily didn't listen. She started spinning in circles until he got nauseous, and threw up on the floor. The Killer Robots then slipped on the barf, releasing Ook and Gluk in mid-air. The Killer Robots crashed to the ground, destroyed.
After a brief celebration, they finally found the time portal. However, Goppernopper found them, and grabbed Lily by the tale. Lily solved the problem by barfing into Goppernopper's mouth. Surprised and disgusted, Goppernopper started shouting, however, he could do nothing to prevent Ook and his friends escaping. The trio ran back through the time portal, unaware of "the terror that awaited them".
The Mechasaurs[]
When they got back to Caveland, the place wasn't even recognizable, as it closely resembled the place they had just exited, with factories, pollution, etc. They were only sure that they were in the right year because Ook pointed out the year labeled on the time portal.
When the trio found Caveland, all of its citizens were still enslaved. Gluk demanded they release them, but the Goppernopper employees refused, immediately attacking Ook and his friends with their ray guns. After a brief fight, the guards retreated. Gluk announced to the former slaves that their guards were "kung-fued" and that everyone was freed. Everybody celebrated at this, and Gak ran up to Gluk, hugging him, saying he was her hero, etc. Ook asks about him and Lily, to which Gak replied, "Oh, yeah, you too."
Before Ook could respond, ex-Chief Goppernopper arrived on the back of the Tyrannosaurus Mechasaur. He introduced new Mechasaurs, one resembling a triceratops and the other resembling a pterodactyl. Goppernopper explained that, during the past seven years while Ook, Gluk, and Lily were training at Master Wong's School of Kung Fu, he got computer savvy, and uploaded pictures of the heroes into the memory banks of the Mechasaurs. Goppernopper had programmed the Mechasaurs to attack on command anything that had the face(s) of Ook, Gluk, and/or Lily. Goppernopper then ordered the Mechasaurs to "sik-em."
The Mechasaurs chased the heroes through time portal and into an area filled with warehouses and stockrooms. In an attempt to hide, they zipped around a corner and took refuge in a storage room. Gluk exclaimed that they were in big trouble, and Ook replied about how the Mechasaurs responded whenever they saw something resembling their faces. This gave Gluk the idea to put paper bags on their heads to cover their faces, and in turn Ook had the idea to spray paint their faces on the walls of the buildings to make the Mechasaurs destroy them.
After tricking the Mechasaurs destroy building after building, they decided to spray-paint the walls of Goppernopper Tower, therefore making the Mechasaurs destroy the building. While watching the destruction of the tower, Ook and Gluk didn't notice Lily spray-painting the side of a tub of highly explosive material, so when the Mechasaurs attacked it, the material inside exploded, destroying the Mechasaurs with it.
Temporary surrender and turn of events[]
The trio ran back through the time portal, they sent Goppernopper and the former slave guard back to 2222 AD, and were about to go find Lily's mother when a paper airplane sailed through the portal. Gluk unfolded it and they read the message. The letter was from J. P. Goppernopper, and it said that he captured Wong and Lon, and ordered them to surrender or they would be executed. Naturally, they decided to return to 2222 AD so their friends wouldn't be killed.
When they stepped through, they found the Goppernoppers waiting for them. J. P. Goppernopper asked if they could get away with destroying "[his] empire," to which they admitted they could. Goppernopper shouted that they couldn't, and that since they "destroyed what [he] loved, [he'll] destroy what [they loved]." The Goppernoppers showed them Lan and Wong tied up. Ook comforted Lan, while the Goppernoppers explained how the Goppernoppers found them. The Goppernoppers explained that they noticed they learned martial arts, so they looked up nearby schools that taught it, and Master Wong's School of Kung Fu was the only one. They remarked that they'll be easier to kill than find, to which Ook blocked future Goppernopper's ray gun and made them a deal: let the Wongs go and kill them instead. After putting some handcuffs on, the Goppernoppers immediately went back on their word and were about to kill them. Wong reminded Ook and Gluk about their training. They reflected on their seven years of kung fu training, and remembered Wong's question: Who is the greatest man? They asked the Goppernoppers this as they were about to execute them, to which they thought each other was the answer.
The Goppernoppers started arguing and insulting each other to prove why the other wasn't worthy of the title of "greatest man". Their quarrel quickly escalated into the two fighting, which ended in the ex-chief Goppernopper winning. J. P. Goppernopper grabbed his ray gun and blasted his ancestor, quickly killing him. However, this caused him to slowly disappear, as well as all of Goppernopper Enterprises. Wong explained that since he killed his ancestor, he cannot exist, and neither could things he built or created. The future world was replaced by a world without the Goppernopper family.
Aftermath[]
Just then, the trio remembered the time portal, and they ran through, quickly saying good-bye to Lan and Wong. Ook stepped back through, and wanted to say something to Lan, but couldn't make the words. Lan understood and said she'll marry him, jumping into his arms. After saying a final good-bye to Master Wong, they walked back through the time portal.
After returning to he past, they found the factories disappearing and plants returning, and walked back to Caveland. Ook and his friends came across Mog-Mog, who was overjoyed to see her daughter Lily. They rode Mog-Mog the rest of the way to Caveland, and found the whole population waiting for them.
Later life[]
After some time, Ook and Lan married and Gluk and Gak married and the two had kids, who they named Ook after his father and Gluk after his father, both with Jr. at the end. They remained in Caveland and had some as-of-yet unknown adventure involving aliens and outer space.
Appearance[]
TBA
Relationships[]
TBA
[]
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