Samson Clogmeyer is the anti-hero of the series.
Samson is an accident-prone, nerdy, neat freak, and luckyless guinea pig who wears large spectacles. He has terrible luck, is easily hurt and is known as the "Camp Wimp" and is occasionally pushed around by some of his fellow campers. Due to his numerous physical weaknesses, he has an assortment of "health buddies" named "Nasal Allergy Buddy", "Asthma Buddy", "Foot Fungus Buddy", "Eyeball Buddy and "Skin Rash Buddy".
In some episodes, he is ignored by other scouts and doesn't consider himself to have any real friends at Camp Kidney. Despite this, Samson is not particularly disliked by any of his fellow campers and is rather social, often appearing alongside other Bean Scouts. When social, he is usually seen with Edward, only to sometimes be pushed around by Edward's dominating personality. When upset or agitated, he will repeatedly say "merp" or "nerts" (an onomatopoeia for a noise guinea pig makes).
He is part of the Fava Cabin along with Dave and Ping-Pong and is the postmaster for both of the scouts' camps; he picks up mail at the main post office in Prickly Pines before delivering it to either Acorn Flats or Camp Kidney. In one episode he became camp bully.
Samson also seems to have some sort of rivalry with Raj, the two had a bitter argument over who owned a hot spring; later they decided to share it. Samson is convinced that some new scouts are aliens but the only people who will believe Samson are minor background characters. Raj makes fun of his situation by saying "You think it makes a difference if those vague background characters believe you? Surely you can do better than that!", which only provokes Samson further in trying to redeem himself. It is later revealed that the "scouts" were the aliens in disguise and that they were only using him and even refer to him as obese. Samson's weight is a point for others to poke fun at him, both Edward and Commander Hoo-hah have called Samson by the unflattering nickname "Butterball" and Raj and Edward have also called him "Dough-boy".
Later episodes in the series has shown that he seems to have trouble when it comes to being noticed or not being interrupted while speaking. He keeps a secret journal, where it's revealed that he really wants to be Lazlo's friend, even though he is already apparently considered to be friends with Lazlo. Samson could possibly be adopted due to his parents being jellyfish. It seems he resorts to talking to frozen cavemen, who goes berserk; and talking to rocks, which slithers away, because no one else seems listen to him. Multivitamins are his favorite food. Samson is voiced by Jeff Bennett.